What it's like to have a bowl cut

Last week at the pub Andy interrupted me mid-sentence with a loud guffaw. He had spotted something hilarious happening behind me. 

"What?! What is it?" 

"That guy over there is taking the mickey out of your bowl cut."

"Oh noooooo. Should I look?"

"No. Don't look," he cries laughing. 

"WHAT IS HE DOING?"

"He's pointing at you and doing this—" He takes his pointer finger and twirls it around his head in a perfect circle.

"Typical."

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Image by AudunLG via Wikimedia Commons

When you have a bowl cut, you learn to own it. Questioning it is not an option (think about the bloody grow-out). 

You've made your bowl, and now you have to lie in it. Sleep in it. Eat in it. Walk in it. Talk in it. 

Other things you have to accept:

• People in the UK might call it a basin cut. I think this is terrible. I really prefer 'bowl cut'. But C'est la vie.

• You have the same hair as Angela Merkel.

• You have the same hair as Simple Jack.

• If you sleep on wet hair, you wake up looking like the guy from Sum41. Deryck Whibley. Remember when Avril was married to him?

• Often, you look very middle aged. There's really no way around it. Although today I got carded for buying glue, so maybe I've still got it. 

But there's a massive upside.

• You are UNIQUE. My number one goal in life. 

• It's an attention-grabber. And boy do I love attention! For me, it's up there with food, water and shelter. 

• You don't have to worry that you're slowly causing your hairline to recede by wearing too many ponytails.

• Ponytails! That reminds me! You don't have to search high and low for the one hairband you've somehow managed to cling on to for the past three months. 

• It's easy. You don't have any options other than just letting it sit there and be a bowl cut.

My hands are so dry I want to cry. 

Tootski, 

Margaret