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Thursday, October 29, 2009

I sure know how to pick 'em- blog topics, that is! And blog titles too, apparently.

For the past two days I've been groovin' to "Pick Up the Pieces" by Average White Band. It truly is one of the greatest diddies of all time. Listen to it. I dare you not to snap your fingers.

Freddy Nietzsche once said "all truly great thoughts are conceived by walking" and I am inclined to agree. The mind, like the legs trotting beneath it, often wanders to places of unexpected amusement. Want proof? Well, I was listening to the aforementioned "Pick Up the Pieces" on one of my many, daily saunters through Edinburgh when a series of groovy thoughts came upon me.

1. "Pick-up" games of basketball (or any sport for that matter) are so cool and under appreciated. For all those nay-saying, Internet haters who claim we've become detached, self-imposed isolationists; go watch a pick-up game of basketball in the park. It's beautiful.

2. Of all the mean tricks that prey on innocent children, 52-card "pick-up" is one of the cruelest. As a youngest child, I was always the victim of this evil game and never the administrator. This upset me back then and upsets me currently.

3. "Pick-up" lines are often joked about, but rarely used. For the most part, people just make normal small talk. Actually, mocking lame pick-up lines has become a pick-up line itself- so much so that I think it's a very dull, predictable, topic adored by unfunny people. What happened to the creativity of yesteryear such as this:


4. At the bagel shop people would call in orders for "pick-up", but in Edinburgh people would call that "take-away." Which is better? I think "pick-up" is more upbeat. U-S-A. U-S-A. U-S-A!!!

5. Pickup trucks are the best vehicles. They are! Stop thinking about gas for one second and agree with me. Not convinced? Watch an episode of "Friday Night Lights" and get back to me.


Blogness monster,

Madge

P.S. Googling "quotes about" then whatever it is you need a quote about has always ended successfully for me.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

You can't help but love...

John Stamos
Egg McMuffins

Volkswagons

Facebook

Borat

"Don't Stop Believin"/"Sweet Caroline"/"Livin on a Prayer"/"Sweet Child of Mine"
Keeping Up with the Kardashians

Picking Your Nose

Starbucks's Christmas Decor
Judge Judy

Doing the "Robot"

Fabric Stores

Infomercials

The Salem Witch Trials


peace,

Margaret

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Re: Revenge

My Mom once told me, "The only way you'll truly feel better is to get revenge."
I must add, she uttered this brilliant assertion while placing a serrated kitchen knife in my small, 11-year-old hand.

The neighbor told me I couldn't climb "his" tree. Something about liability. I was devestated.

"Go slash his tires," she said.

I didn't do it, but would she have stopped me if I had? One might guess her behavior was just some radical parenting tactic- that she was encouraging bad behavior to test my moral decision-making skills.
Not the case.
She actually thought I should slash the neighbor's tires and relish the sweet, toothsome, taste of revenge.

Though revenge can, and usually does, make a situation worse, at times it is appropriate. Perhaps it is not appropriate in the ethical sense, but simply because it's the only possible source of solace in a particular moment. Such moments are so muddled with emotion that a minor outburst of retaliation is suitable.


Haha. Awww, I want it to be Christmas.

Goodnight,

Madge


Friday, October 16, 2009

I am the fox-wisperer


OMG.

Last night Margot, Laura (Edinburgh friends) and I spontaneously traversed a Scottish hillside seeking adventure and exercise. Just three lively post-grad gals looking to reconnect with nature, ya know? HA. It was also a good opportunity to showcase our hiking-chic look.

Once we reached the top we sat down to enjoy the beaUtiful, twinkly, Edinburgh skyline. Instinctively, I led them in a guided meditation to find their spirit animals. That's just what you do when it's nighttime and you're outdoors and you have exhausted every possible would-you-rather question. Camp was a spirit-animal menagerie this Summer, thanks to Jenny's earthy hypnosis skills. Thus, I felt qualified to assist Margot and Laura in their hunt for their creaturely companion.

In the end, Laura discovered hers to be a short-haired, shiny, chestnut brown mare. Margot's was a fox. Mine, for anyone who cares, is a mountain goat.

Here's where the story becomes blog-worthy.

On the walk back down the ridge, a FOX leaped into the path from behind a bush! AHHHHH!!!

It was black. It had ears. It snarled its teeth at us.

We froze, screamed and desperately tried to move our trembling legs back up the hillside.

Eventually, we made it home in one piece (well, three pieces I suppose), but the nerves have been forever rattled. FOXES. ARE. SCARY.

Love,

Margaret

P.S. I forgot to include the thesis point in all this-- I CAN CONJURE UP FOXES WITH MY MIND.

(From a different night, obviously. But that's Laura on MY right- YOUR left. And Margot's on MY left- YOUR right.)

Saturday, October 10, 2009

A-Team: Engaged!

My big sis, Anna, and her long-time steady, Alex, got engaged yesterday!!

They are the best. I am SO thrilled for both of them.

Alex- you're going to be my brother-in-law!

Here's a pic of the ring (so lovely):

LOVE,

Margaret

Thursday, October 8, 2009

A tale of two tales...

I saw an anorexic today. I was at the gym on the treadmill when she passed in front of me on her way to the weight room (such irony in that last phrase). Most people with eating disorders simply fall into the "weird about food" category, but it's not often that you actually see an anorexic in the flesh (in the bone??). It's SAD. She feverishly did a set crunches and in the blur of limbs I couldn't tell her legs from her arms!
Oh- I have ANOTHER reason why we should all hate cigarettes. Get this- I was walking home from the grocery store, eating my granola-bar-lunch, dodging people and j-walking to stay on schedule when the most heinous experience of my life occurred. The ASH from a middle-aged woman's cigarette blew onto my granola bar and I ATE IT!!!! She was waiting for the bus and just as I walked by a gust of Edinburgh wind carried the hot piece of charred tobacco up and onto my cranberry oat bar. It all happened so fast. GAG.

Miss y'all,

Madge

Monday, October 5, 2009

Loony Moon

I could not sleep last night. Finally, at 3 AM I gave up, got out of bed and ate a chunk of Scottish shortbread.

At first there was no clear explanation for my insomnia. I had enjoyed an active day of running, walking, eating, tv-watching...the yuge. Sleep should have been easy.

This morning, however, I had an inkling that Mother Nature had something to do with it. AND YES, duh, I was right! Last night was a FULL MOON. Sign, sealed, googled, I'm yours.

Time for a nap,

Madge
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