Friday, February 27, 2015

You thought you'd heard everything re: the dress

But what do you suppose these identical twins see when they look at it? 

(I'm talking about Char and Francie, not the baby, which is the same baby in both photos)

Surely, they must see the same thing.

They have the same genes. 

The have the same eyes!

Read the email thread and find out.

Sibling survey
10 messages

Margaret Kay 
 Fri, Feb 27, 2015 at 7:13 PM 
To: Max Kay, Anna Gorohoff, Francie Fitzpatrick, Charlene Kay

By now I assume you all have seen the dress. Which do you see?


Blue/Black (goldish black)

I saw Blue/Black from the beginning and can't see White/Gold despite trying different lighting and squinting.
I'm wondering if we'll all see the same thing because of genetics.

Max Kay 
To: Margaret Kay
Cc: Anna Gorohoff , Francie Fitzpatrick, Charlene Kay

Everyone sees white/gold. blue/black is a hoax ­ shame on you margaret for trying to put one over on us!

Margaret Kay
Fri, Feb 27, 2015 at 7:38 PM 
To: Max Kay
Cc: Anna Gorohoff, Francie Fitzpatrick, Charlene Kay

OMG. Not surprised, you being male and prone to colour blindness. I'm holding out hope that mah sistahs back me up. #TeamBlueBlack

Charlene Kay
Fri, Feb 27, 2015 at 7:41 PM 
To: Max Kay
Cc: Margaret Kay, Anna Gorohoff, Francie Fitzpatrick

White and gold!

Francie Fitzpatrick
Fri, Feb 27, 2015 at 7:53 PM 
To: Charlene Kay
Cc: Max Kay , Margaret Kay, Anna Gorohoff

Blue/black, can't see white/gold at all. What the h!!!

Francie Fitzpatrick
Fri, Feb 27, 2015 at 8:05 PM 
To: Charlene Kay 
Cc: Max Kay, Margaret Kay, Anna Gorohoff­one­agrees­color­dress/

Anna Gorohoff 
Fri, Feb 27, 2015 at 8:45 PM
To: Francie Fitzpatrick
Cc: Charlene Kay, Max Kay, Margaret Kay

Blue and black! I see no gold at all 

Max Kay 
Fri, Feb 27, 2015 at 9:28 PM
To: Anna Gorohoff 
Cc: Francie Fitzpatrick, Charlene Kay, Margaret Kay

Right guys. Sure. Here's another test ­ what do you see?

Margaret Kay 
Fri, Feb 27, 2015 at 9:32 PM
To: Max Kay 
Cc: Anna Gorohoff, Francie Fitzpatrick, Charlene Kay

Good one!

Char and I are debating over this one...some say it's "salt" and others think it looks more like "snow"

Francie Fitzpatrick 
Fri, Feb 27, 2015 at 9:35 PM 
To: Margaret Kay 
Cc: Max Kay, Anna Gorohoff, Charlene Kay

Hahaha what a bunch of comedians we have in the fam!

There you have it. Even twins see it differently.

This blue/black/white/gold dress is history-making. A dress hasn't been this controversial since JLo's green Versace, which, looking back now, wasn't flattering at all.

What will the Internet have us talking about tomorrow? Can't wait to find out!


Thursday, February 26, 2015

Giving these typing fingers a rest

Sometimes, after writing all day about card payment solutions for SMEs, you just can't go home and write a blog post.

Tonight is one of those nights.

Enjoy a video message instead. Don't worry, it's SFW.

Your sleepy friend,

P.S. Andy ordered in some food for his dinner tonight. Guess what he got.

Pizza? Nope!

Thai food? Nope!

Indian food? Nope!


Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Should've been a cowboy

I wish I'd trained to be a cowboy, rather than going to college and majoring in journalism.

I'm not really sure how cowboys make their money, but you can't beat the lifestyle. Your office is the wild wild west. Your work clothes are jeans and cotton shirt. You're in naturally good shape from lassoing cows, jumping on horses' backs and repairing broken fences on your ranch.

What's not to love?

I'm two days into a three-week copywriting gig and I'm confident that the contemporary office environment is killing us. I know, I know. Scientists have warned of the dangers of a 'sedentary lifestyle' for years now. But I'm only just realising how right they are.

How on earth are people are expected to live happy, healthy lives when they're forced to sit at a desk all day? I'm perplexed!

Save your rebuttals. I already have rebuttals for your rebuttals. Rebuttal THIS:

  • YOUR SOLUTION: Just walk to work, take lots of short breaks during the day, go to the gym during your lunch, walk home and plan fun activities in the evening.  
  • MY REBUTTAL: Thanks, Yolanda, but that's far too hard. Especially in the winter when the only daylight hours are the exact hours you're expected to work.

  • YOUR SOLUTION: Get a job with a company that allows you to work flexible hours and makes it easy for you to work from home when you need to. 
  • MY REBUTTAL: Great idea, but those companies are few and far between. I could probably get a job at one, but I'm brilliant.

  • YOUR SOLUTION: Sit on an exercise ball instead of a desk chair!
  • MY REBUTTAL: I've tried it. Not sustainable. Looks stupid. 

Luckily, a lot of people I know actually do work for those nice companies that "care" about their employees' "work/life balance" and prove it by offering "perks". (Remember, those perks are the least they can do. Don't boost a company's ego by praising it for not treating you like a workhorse.)

Also lucky, I've managed to find a line of work that allows me to avoid the 9-5 grind most of the time. Still, I often wish I did more physical labour. I said that to Andy once and he read me the riot act. I was looking enviously out the window at some builders working on the scaffolding across the street. Here's a taste of that conversation:

Me: "I really wish my work involved physical labour. Don't you? I mean, like, I crave lifting things."

Andy: "No, absolutely not. That's ridiculous. Listen to what you're saying! It's easy to romanticise the idea of physical labour, but they're outside in the cold and you're inside in the warm. You get to sit inside, on a comfy chair, sipping tea and typing on a computer for a living. You should be grateful!"

Me: "But I mowed lawns for the Vancouver, Washington PUD for a month in 2009 and I loved it."

Andy: "You wouldn't love it for the rest of your life."

Me at the 'Couve PUD.
No, I never got to actually drive that thing.
Yes, I ate a Kashi 'Go Lean' bar for lunch every day and was rurrrrrl skinny!

Hmmm. Come to think of it, cowboys do have to smell a lot of cow poop. And again, I'm still unsure about how they get money.

Lots to ponder,


Tuesday, February 24, 2015

A day in the life

"The following is a first-person account of the events of Tuesday, 24th February 2015, written over the course of 12 hours by one Margaret Kay."

— James Joyce

Image by renaissancechambara via Flickr


I'm sitting in an office waiting to be briefed on a piece of work. There's nothing to do now except fondle my neck zit and refresh the Zimbabwe vs. West Indies Cricket World Cup live feed on BBC Sport.

You know what I'm into? Giant 20-ounce paper cups of peppermint tea. From Starbucks or Costa (Starbucks' main UK competitor). Isn't that one of the most early-2000s thing you've ever heard? I'm only one-third of the way through the cup and my bladder's already about to burst. My hands, however, are warm. Very warm. That's what's important.


OH! I'm so tired.

I got a cheese/tomato/lettuce baguette from Greggs. They call it a "mature cheddar salad baguette". Ew. The name needs work. I'm eating it. It's scraping the roof of my mouth raw. I love it. I wish I had four more.

Zimbabwe lost.


I'm home. Andy heated my PJs, which are actually his PJs, on the radiator for me to throw on immediately after walking through the door. What a gent.

We're making fish tacos for dinner. We ate them last weekend and have been raving about how good they were ever since.

I'm salivating. It's breaded fish too. Not that healthy pink kind. You know what I'm talking about.

It's not that I dislike salmon. Salmon's great! But sometimes you just want old fashioned, breaded white fish that tastes like Friday suppers in the 1950s. Fish tacos is even a bit too exotic. I could really go for some mash, a side of peas and a big dollop of katsup for dipping. Maybe tomorrow night.


After reading through my day's events, one thing's clear: I'm infatuated with food. I can't deny it.

Food is the flagellum propelling me through this murky mystery we call life.

Now I'm eating a yoghurt (see?) and reading this book about a girl whose sister was a chimp. I can't tell if I like it or not. My guess is that I think it's medium.

Same time again tomorrow.


Monday, February 23, 2015

Celebrate the Taj Mahal!

My pal Tori once told me that her and her sister thought the Kool & the Gang song went like this: "Celebrate the Taj Mahal!"

Ever since, I've always preferred those lyrics.

Today, on this Monday the 23rd of February, I'm celebrating more than just the Taj Mahal. Here's what has me woo-hooing like Vicki Gunvalson right this very second:

  • Coffee prevents skin cancer! (maybe, but let's go with it)

  • We're having pesto gnocchi for dinner tonight with posh parmesan—the kind you have to grate yourself!

  • It's freezing/windy/hailing outside, but I'm warm and toasty on the couch under a blanky!

  • My new headphones came in the mail! Just £9.99 and they work like a charm.

  • We have the latest episode of 'Better Call Saul' to watch tonight!

  • I love my bowl cut!

  • RHONY finally has a premiere date. April 7th!

  • Andy's going to write a textbook for Scottish high school kids! 

    Isn't that all just wonderful? Join me in the celebration!

    OK, you got me. This 'find something to celebrate every day' Oprah-style post was just an excuse to use those low-quality gifs I made on

    Start with the gifs and work backward from there. That's my blogging philosophy.


    P.S. Enjoy this gif preview of my next list, 'Things I'm sick and tired of'


    Sunday, February 22, 2015

    Baby you can drive my car

    OK, stop refreshing the E Online Oscars page hoping that the live red carpet feed will start and read this instead.

    It's blustery as the dickens here in Edinburgh. As I type this I'm looking out the window at a woman desperately trying to hold her umbrella in a way so that it doesn't flip inside out. Hey lady, it's never going to work! Accept defeat, bin that brolly and embrace the icy breeze. Quit fretting over that £2 parasol, put your hood up and sprint!

    The cold weather dries out my skin twice over. First, the lack of air moisture sucks the life out of them. Then all those hot showers I'm forced to take to warm up only exacerbates things. My hands are so dehydrated that they don't even feel like mine anymore. Touching one set of fingers with the other feels like petting a corpse. GAWD, these hands are parched! PARCHED.

    But that's not what I came here to discuss.

    Today I'd like to talk about driverless cars.

    Apparently they'll be here before we know it, and I say, bring them on! Less traffic. Fewer car crashes. Not so much pollution. Also, imagine being able to watch last night's episode of RHOBH during your commute to work. The dream!

    Image via Mark Doliner via Wikimedia Commons

    Need convincing? Listen to this piece of audio from back in 2009 when I damned near almost fell asleep at the wheel. I could have seriously used a driverless car back then. Also, after listening to this, it's amazing that there was ever a time when I didn't know the term "vocal fry".

    But what about road trips? What about going where the wind blows? What about the joys of navigating the wide open highway, thumbs tapping on the steering wheel to a sweet country jam on the FM radio?

    I don't think we'll lose that. In fact, road trips will become even more romantic and aspirational in an era of driverless cars. So accustomed to sitting in our vroom-vroom-robot-pods, old school human-driven cars will be super classy and vintage. Sure, our driving skills will be hellza rusty, but that doesn't matter out on those empty country freeways.

    Oh my god my HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I must go get the lotion.

    Happy trails,

    P.S. In the UK they don't say "lotion". They say "moisturiser".
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