Bogus health fads: Let's stop picking and choosing

I'm seeing a lot of articles on the detrimental effects of the anti-vaccine movement. The conversation has reached peak "duh" and we all agree that anyone still arguing against vaccinating your kids needs to put a sock in it.

But remember, it's not just that witch Jenny McCarthy who kicked off the harmful fad. Our beloved Oprah is also to blame. Oprah was the one who invited J-Mac on her show, set her up with a blog on Oprah.com and gave her a massive platform to spread her nonsense.

I still remember watching her on the Oprah show back in 2009 and thinking "Yikes. I don't want my kids to get autism. I hope they figure out whether all of this is true by the time I get to child-bearing age". Luckily, they did. They actually knew back then. She was making it all up.

Dr. Oz also turned out to be a quack. Did you know that?

Anyway, I'm preaching to the jazz choir, so enough on vaccines. The point I want to make today is that we shouldn't stop at the anti-vax movement. Let's also banish the other bogus health fads that have woven themselves into our culture. For example:

• Gluten-free — Unless you're celiac or actually have a gluten intolerance (it's rare), go ahead and gluten it on up. The truth is, 93.3% of us can eat gluten without any repercussions. Don't believe the hype.

• Cleanses — Juice cleanse, master cleanse, detox cleanse, colon cleanse, whatever. They're all bogus. Cleanses have repeatedly been proven ineffective, if not harmful. Your body already has a system for flushing out toxins. It's called your liver and kidneys!

• Blood-type diet — Nope! Not even going to dignify this one. Read here if you need convincing. 

• Carb-free diet — Of course you'll lose weight for a bit. But then you'll get hungry, sad, angry and maybe even FAT due to the appetite-boosting stress hormones your confused body is pumping out. 

• Gwyneth's vag steam — Oh Gwynn. Turns out that giving your wizard sleeve a mugwort steam isn't good for you at all! But kudos for creativity!

Instead of picking and choosing when we go with science and when we go with 'worth a try', let's just go with science all of the time. These silly health fads may seem harmless on the surface, but our culture's willingness to welcome them with open arms is worrying. It's this attitude that allowed people to entertain seriously damaging trends like the anti-vax movement in the first place.

One time I was convinced I had a parasite and went on a year-long supplement regime to try and rid myself of it. Nothing worked...until I moved to the UK, met Andy (who convinced me to stop drinking goat's milk, for a start) and eventually left my worm worries behind. Something was up with my digestion, but my guess is that it was one-part psychosomatic and one-part the result of my self-prescribed cleanse. I was making myself ill! I had Munchausen's!!! OMG. Amazing. Must add "Munchausen's survivor" to my Twitter profile.

From the Year of the Worm (2009).

Anyway, I know first-hand how easy it is to get sucked into conspiracy theories about health. I'm as bad as the next kook. This post is as much a promise to myself that, from this point forward, I'll approach health crazes with the skepticism they deserve, as it is a message for all you nuts.

Moving on. I baked oatmeal chocolate chip cookies today. The best cookie. I'm not claiming mine are the best, just that oatmeal chocolate chip is the best genre of cookie. When done right, they have the perfect amount of chew, crunch and gooeyness. #SnarfSnarfSnarf

Your friend,
Dr. Madge*

*Editor's Note: Margaret is not a real doctor. Neither in the academic or medical sense.