OK, so that's what an infected tooth canal smells like

Vomit, rotting flesh, cat urine, raw sewage, fish guts, skunk anus, post-Italian dinner morning breath, garbage, stagnant water, wet dog, spoiled milk, burnt hair—that's what the inside of an infected tooth canal smells like. 

How do I know? Because today I smelt it (and dealt it) as I lay in horror on the dentist's chair.

The dentist: "And that smell is telling us that there is indeed an infection in there!"

Me: "Ah, uh huh."

She carved out my canal and squirted it with disinfectant. Then I sat up, rinsed and said goodbye as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. 

But I was shaken. How could my body turn on me like that? Why, it's not my body at all, but just a complex congregation of cells that act purely in their own self interest. 

GOOD HEAVENS IT STANK. Shamefully, appallingly, dry-heavingly bad. I knew teeth were a problem, but I had no idea they were capable of such carnage. 

Actually, you know what, I can't write anymore. I'm too disgusted with myself to carry on. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go take a hot shower and then lay completely still under the covers contemplating the meaning of life. 

Toodle do, 

Margaret