Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Things to retire for 2015

Tomorrow is the first day of 2015. As Nina Simone would croon, "It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me...and I'm feeling goooood!"

Before we ring in the New Year, I've made a list of things that we might want to consider leaving behind going forward. "Going forward" is office jargon over here in the UK. For example, "Going forward, do you see us transitioning to an outreach-based approach?" Do people say it in offices in America? Let me know.

Anyhoo, the things on my list aren't necessarily bad. Some are even good (see: 'funny A-frame signs'), but that doesn't mean they should be allowed to flourish forever. With the exception of Kardashian kulture, too much of anything is not ideal. Even the best athletes have to call it quits at some point. The very best have their numbers retired and shirts draped in the stadium for future generations to admire.

So let's agree to leave the following stuff in 2014 and use these imaginative human brains of ours to come up with some cool, original replacements in the New Year.

Words and phrases
  • That happened
  • For why
  • Facepalm
  • Adorkable
  • FTW (for the win)
  • Nom nom nom
  • Life hack
  • Epic
  • Go home [blank]; you're drunk.
Things
  • Funny A-frame signs outside restaurants/pubs
  • Nail art
  • Ironic Amazon reviews
  • Moustache-on-a-stick props in wedding photobooths (the rest can stay: feather boa, foam finger, London policeman's hat, etc.)
  • Selfies or photobombs (we can only keep one)
  • Giant plaid shirts tied at the waist (I'm looking at you, Khloe K.)

Opinions
  • Gwyneth Paltrow is annoying
  • Photoshop is ruining our body image
  • Fox News is the reason the world is going to the dogs
  • Kale is the answer.

In general, let's try to be a little less bandwagony, a little less ironic and a little more creative. 

Best of luck to us all, 

Margaret

1 comment:

Unknown said...

We use our own version of that jargon in Corporate America - ours is "Moving forward."

Happy New Year!

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