I don't have bad eyesight, my eyes are just unmotivated. Can't focus when I'm on the computer, but when I go to take an eye test, they step up their game. Can you get glasses for eyes that can't be bothered?
That's pretty much the gist of it. My eyes do what they want, and sometimes what they want more than anything is to do nothing. I can relate.
But what can I do to get these peepers back in gear? I went to Specsavers fully prepared to buy some super cute hipster glasses, and I aced the eye exam! When my eyes apply themselves, they score a perfect 20/20. The problem is that they're just lazy a lot of the time.
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| Dead eyes = rough photo. Tyra knows best. |
Here are just a few examples of when my eyes like to take a lil' break from their ocular duties.
Using the computer
Sometimes, especially in the morning, trying to get my eyes to focus on a Google doc is a total lost cause. Even reading a Facebook comment is a struggle. That might not sound like a big deal, but my fans rely on me to 'like' their comments within 30 seconds of them writing it. If you had a dedicated fanbase that hangs on your every word, you'd understand.
Identifying approaching faces
OK, half of the time I am intentionally ignoring you. But if I completely blank you as we pass on the street, there's a 50% chance that it's just these dang unmotivated eyes! Blame them, not me! When I'm walking, my eyes struggle to focus on faces. There's too much movement, there's wind whipping round my pupils and everything becomes a blur.
Hunting for something in the refrigerator
Actually, when it comes to the fridge, Andy's eyes can't be arsed even more than mine. He's constantly hollering at me 'Where are the eggs?' 'What happened to the spinach?' 'Are we out of ketchup?' — my answer's always the same: bottom shelf, bottom shelf, bottom shelf. I suspect that he just doesn't want to bend down that far.
Attempting to decipher 'magic eyes'
This could be a case of 'impatient eyes' more than 'unmotivated eyes', but semantics aside, I SUCK at magic eyes. I blogged about it back in 2011, so no need to get into the gritty details again.
But here, let's try one together. Just for ol' time's sake.
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| Image via DeviantArt |
Any idea? I thought it was a train track. I was wrong. Post a comment with your guess and I'll let you know if you got it right tomorrow.
Cheers,
Margaret
P.S. A PayPal commercial just came on TV. It's absolutely terrible. I can't stand the 'Na na na na na, people rule!' part at the end. Seriously—people rule? That's the slogan you've decided to go with? PEOPLE RULE? What kind of 1998 5th-grade-boy backwards baseball cap lingo is that? This isn't a No Fear t-shirt, it's an advert for an online payment platform—a product that requires you to enter your debit card number and bank account details for goodness' sake.
Watch:
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