Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Oil Changes Are Scarier Than Edward Cullen

GREETINGS.

I'm about to go get the oil changed in the Volvo. It's always a horrible experience. Sitting in the waiting area at Jiffy Lube...pretending to read a car magazine, staring at the coffee pot and craving its stale, watery coffee but being too nervous to actually get some for fear that it costs money (which is rediculous, I know it doesn't) and dreading the moment when some guy leads me outside to a "computer" that wisely determines that the Volvo needs wiper blades. I tell them "not today" because "my mom" told me just to get the oil, but I know they are mad that I haven't listened to the computer. I've disrespected its authority and their commission will suffer because of it. 

Ok, so I saw Twilight last night with Tori. I feel that with all its hype, it deserves a Madgespace review:

INSANELY HORRIBLE and AMAZING. A must-see. Awful awful awful. But very very good. 

Bella: 
SPIT IT OUT! Just think about what you're trying to say and then say it. It's called "talking" and it should not be that difficult. 

Edward:
Beautiful. Perfect. The bad acting and bad american accent really adds to his vampireness. It works for him. He carries the movie. Without him, it would really just be an extended episode of Charmed...with a little Wishbone mixed in. Who knew someone so creepy could be so attractive? He makes breaking into someone's house to watch them sleep seem CUTE.

It's ok to HATE, LOVE, LAUGH AT, CRY AT, MAKE FUN OF, and DEFEND this movie all at the same time. 

It's wonderful. Full of wonder. Wonder in the sense of mysterious awe and wonder in the sense of WTF?!!!!?!

Hold on tight spidermonkey, 

Madge

P.S. I am making key lime pie tomorrow. 


5 comments:

Unknown said...

AMAZING. You should be a critic for the Times, that is the most accurate review I have ever read. How can something be so good and yet so terrible at the same time? I guess it's kind of like falling in love with a vampire. Sigh.

AJK said...

I need to see it asap.

ellen said...

i disagree. this was not terrible at all. there was only ONE cringeworthy part and that was the 'spidermonkey' part. everyone who hates/loves it is not a true fan. thats fine, they just dont have the authority to judge, thats all. part of bella's relatable charm is her stuttering and not really knowing what she wants to say because there are so many things going through her head (this is more evident in the text).

anywho, great movie. loved every bit of it. especially the mostly attractive cast (minus jacob, the attractive woman).

Grassyllama said...

Ellsworth!!! I loved every darn second of it as well- did you not read it carefully??

torimueller said...

lets see it again

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