I could do that!

Do you ever have the moments when you think, "Wait a second. I could do that!"

It happens when products, services or people don't warrant their success. Or when they don't quite cut the mustard.

And I'm not talking about things like the Kardashians. You can argue about whether they deserve to be famous, but you can't argue "Hey, I could do that!" You couldn't do that. Why not? Well, you're not a set of attractive, Armenian-American siblings who grew up in Beverly Hills, whose dad was O.J. Simpson's defense lawyer and whose stepdad is a two-time gold-medal-winning Olympian. You also aren't willing to do the nasty with Brandy's brother and film it.

You might not rate the Kardashians, but you couldn't replace them. The only people who are qualified to be the Kardashians are the Kardashians.

What I'm talking about is when you genuinely could do a better job than the person doing it or create a superior product than what's out there.

Here's a handful of "I could do that" epiphanies I've had recently and in the past:

• Write jokes for the Oscars. I wouldn't be the best, but I'd be better than whoever put together that briefcase bit for NPH. 

• Produce a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recap podcast. Yes, I listen to one. And no, it's not good. Char and I could record our Wednesday phone conversations and it would be way better.

• Write a Black Eyed Peas song. When the bar is set at listing the days of the week (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday...), it would be hard not to improve upon their recent work. 

• Manage a concessions stand at British sporting events. You know what the food and beverage options are available at an English Premier League match? Meat pie and beer. That's it. As an American, I'm automatically qualified to introduce our friends across the pond to the concept of choices. 

• Create a delicious dip for chips (crisps) to sell in supermarkets everywhere. I can't take full credit for this one. It's a family recipe, and my aunt Peg Pad Pad is the best at making it. But let me tell you, Padden Family Cream Cheese Dip is the stuff of legends. Secret ingredient? Pickle juice. Sounds gross, but actually tastes delicious. If you thought Tostitos Salsa Con Queso (cheese dip) had the dip market sealed up, you thought wrong. 

• Write pedicure advertisements displayed in men's restrooms at the airport. OK, this one might seem hyper specific, but just LOOK at the advert Andy snapped a photo of in Edinburgh airport last weekend:

Did you catch that? 

It says: "Pedicures and manicures offer the most effective means of stopping feet looking tramp-like."

TRAMP-LIKE.

Dear airport pedicurists, hire me! My rates are competitive and I can think of at least seven alternatives to "tramp-like". Stanky, for example. You can have that one for free. 

Anyway, where was I? Why did I find myself defending the Kardashians for the millionth time? I promise, I'm not even a huge Kardashian fan. They just happen to come up in discussions a lot.

Probably best to wrap things up now. 

Let me know situations when you've thought "I could do that!"

Cheers,
Margaret

P.S. I'll admit it. This post is a bit tramp-like.