Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Dyson dreamin'

Getting excited about vacuums is LAME. Yet we all do it. We can't help ourselves! It's in our nature.

OK, so maybe you don't look forward vacuuming—who does? It's a chore. But what about after you've just changed the filter? Huh? Yeah. Now we're talking.

And when a Dyson commercial comes on the telly—admit it—your ears perk up, your heart skips a beat and you gaze into that silverfox's eyes like he's yahweh incarnate.

It's OK to admit it. You get excited about vacuums. Because vacuums are exciting. We all feel that way. There's no reason to be ashamed.

Yesterday Anna was telling us how she vacuumed inside a heat vent for the first time. Ollie spilled milk down there, and when she lifted off the metal slats she was astounded by the amount of dust and cheerios that called the warm alcove home. As luck would have it, she had just purchased a brand new vacuum and boy was it in for one hell of an inauguration.

Image by Arpingstone via Wikimedia Commons

Reasons we can't help but get excited by vacuums and vacuuming:



  • The physical representation of our dirt-infested lives. Actually being able to see the dust clumps piling up in the plastic canister...well, it's exhilarating. 

  • Your system. Whether you go diagonally across the room or straight forward and straight back, you have a system. Vacuuming is the lawn-mowing of the indoors. You mustn't miss a spot, and it's prudent to overlap your previous line by a few inches just for good measure. You know this, and you enjoy adhering to it. 

  • The suction. The suction alone is fascinating enough. This is particularly true for Shop-Vacs and vacuums with a hose extension. The dirt's there and then—SLURP—it's gone! What power. What majesty. 

  • Winding the cord. Are you a criss-crosser? Or do you prefer a perfect O-shaped loop? Either way, winding the cord up and using that little plastic doodad to fasten the end onto an earlier bit is satisfying as FECK*.

Good morrow, 
Margaret

*Not swearing. Irish people say it's OK.

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