Band names

What are the names of bands you've been in?

OK, so maybe you've never technically been in a band. But most people can name at least one pretend band they dreamed up with their friends back in the day. Here are mine:

• The Masseuses — Me and my cousin Maria

• Sapphire — A Spice Girls-inspired girl group with my 5th-grade besties Dana, Connie, Mackenzie (and maybe Erika?)

• Krankenschwester  — Me and Anna

They're all pretty good names. Krankenschwester is the word for "nurse" in German, but it literally translates to "sick sister", which Anna and I thought was cool and fitting. It would've had to have been a metal band.

#Calves

My dad's been in a lot of bands. I'm pretty sure he was in a band called 'Vanilla Hemorrhoid' at some point. And 'The Weekly Reader'. And 'The Red Herring'. And 'Flannel Asparagus'. And 'The Turquoise Boys'.

It's funny how band names have trends, like when everyone was putting numbers at the end of theirs. Blink 182, Sum 41, Maroon 5, Stroke 9. Oh indeed, I haven't forgotten about Stroke 9. Francie had the CD.

What are some of the worst band names out there? I remember thinking 'Dixie Chicks' was awful when I first heard it. One time this duo named '2 Shoes' made it to the top ten of UK X-Factor. TWO SHOES? But there were two of them, so it should've at least been '4 Shoes'. Terrible.

It's years later and Andy still brings up 2 Shoes all the time. And we laugh. Oh, do we laugh!

Here they are. Gag on their eleganza.
 

Goodnight,
Margaret

P.S. I'm not sure about my use of "it would've had to have been". What an ugly combination of words! Is it even grammatically correct? I tried several alternatives and that's what I kept coming back to.

P.P.S. Oh yeah, the Donner Party thing. Really, I would have just gobbled up the first person to die, then the next, then the next. I would have felt grossed out, but not guilty. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!