The Renée-sance

Let's face it: faces matter.

Recognising and interpreting human faces is a vital part of our cognitive and social development. On the day we're born, we can pick out faces in a blurry sea of bright lights and foreign objects. By the time we're a month old, we can mimic the facial expressions of our parents.

Faces are so hard-wired into our brains that we often see them when they aren't there — in the clouds, on the exterior of houses, or on a slightly burnt grilled cheese. There's even an official name for the inability to recognise faces. It's called prosopagnosia or 'face blindness'. I'm sure you listened to the Radio Lab about it. 

Anyway, all of this is to say that there's a reason why Renée Zellweger's new, man-made face is FREAKING US ALL THE F OUT. We don't recognise her anymore! That unique, Bridget Jones face is gone FOREVER. There is no getting it back.

The old Zellweger.
Image by Siebbi via Wikimedia Commons

I've had a day to process it. I've read through the articles about whether "we" created the problem, whether it's even a problem at all, and if even the act of commenting on it makes us misogynistic arseholes. Maybe all of those conversations are worth having (except the last one, which I don't think holds up in this case). But I am not going to apologise for my initial reaction, which was a combination of:

• Sadness (10%)
• Horror (10%)
• Puzzlement (10%)
• Unease (70%)

Here's why:

• Sadness — The idea that someone would dislike their face so much that they would rather be completely unrecognisable makes me sad. As someone who is obsessed with her own face and would stare at the mirror for hours as a child (making funny faces and practicing fake crying), I find the situation particularly troubling. When you're bored and lonely, your face is a loyal friend! The PhotoBooth tool on my computer can attest to that. 

• Horror  — Plastic surgery is spooky. My brother Max actually called it years ago. I remember him saying, before the OC-housewife-look really took off, "Plastic surgery is terrifying. It really, really freaks me out." He was right then, and he's been proven even more right with Renée's big reveal.

• Puzzlement — Is that really her? What did she get done? Are the eyes different? The nose? The chin? What exactly is going on?

• Unease — My overriding emotion as I stared at the photos was unease. Maybe her artificial face gave me a bit of an 'uncanny valley' vibe, like I talked about yesterday. But I think I was mainly shaken by the fact that I wouldn't have known it was her if the headlines didn't tell me. That's unsettling. 

I'm still unsure of how I feel about all this, so I decided to ask Andy to chat it over with me in a short video blog. 

Fair weather fans, this is your exit. Sashay away. Go back to Facebook and scroll through a bottomless assortment of Upworthy links and engagement photos. True Madgespace fans, you stay. This is your chance to delve even deeper into the mind of a misunderstood genius.



Auf Wiedersehen,

Margaret

P.S. Andy says that it was actually Francis Bacon who said that quote about beauty (we talk about it in the video). He regrets the error.