Why does your penis look like that?

That's what my nephew Freddie asked my sister Char as he pointed to her nipple.

"Mom, why does your penis look like that?"

I tell ya. Kids say the darndest things. Remember that show with Bill Cosby? To be honest, I didn't care for it much at the time, and that was before we all knew what we know now.

Went with a photo of a male nipple because of that damn double standard!!!!!!!!!!

Image by Xpoirotx via Wikimedia Commons

When my sister Anna was little, she pointed at a naked lady in the swimming pool locker room and said to my mom very loudly, "That lady as a BIG bottom!" And she was right. The lady did have a very large, very naked bottom. What could Nadinski do other than shake her head, give the lady an 'oh kids' look and scoot out of there as fast as possible?

Parents more than make up for their toddler's embarrassing honesty during the teenage years. Prime example: my mom bringing the camcorder to church and filming me being an alter girl. St. John Vianney had groomed me with the promise of a pizza party. Before I knew it I was donning a white robe and holding a giant bible for some B-team, no-parish-wants-him, pot-belled schmuck priest. I was half asleep, my hair was dripping wet from the shower and Nadinski had the nerve to capture it all on video.

When I have kids, I won't be embarrassing. I'll play it cool. I'll "get" it. But Andy? Him, I'm worried about. He'll be that dad. The dad with the bad puns. The dad that teases them about having a boyfriend. The dad who volunteers to chaperone school dances. The dad who blares Backstreet Boys as he picks them up from softball practice. He'll really be awful. Our poor future children.

Unrelated: is 'Can't Make You Love Me' by Bonnie Raitt the best karaoke ballad of all time? My cousin Maria says she sang it in New York at a karaoke dive bar and it brought the house down.

Love,
Margaret