Woah- this elephant is more artistic than me.

Now I've seen it all.

...This weekend has been superb. Anna, Alex and LIZ were in town, so we made sure to hit up all the Spokane hot-spots (giant red radio flyer...garbage eating goat...picaboo bistro...the GRIND). Yesterday we watched University of Montana beat Eastern in football- it was cold, but very fun. Tailgating w/ Barbie's minivan was the highlight. Never eatin' so many wheat thins in my life. Oh, and kettle korn. Why did I spell that with a "k"? That must be how they spell it, because I don't think I would just come up with that on my own. Who knows. 

I have pictures from all of the above, but I don't know where my camera chord is so it'll have to wait until tomorrow. SORRY.

 It's happened- Spokane is now cold. Freezing, actually. Like, so frigid you don't want to open the front door to check the mail. So cold you neglect washing your hands after going to the bathroom because the left-over drops of H2O will turn your fingers to icicles the second you walk outside. SO COLD that, while biking to work in the morning, you find yourself mumbling "burrrr....BURRR, oh burr burr burr burr burr burr burr BURR....(and you don't stop repeating it until you're inside drinking piping hot tea and hovering over the toaster) ".

Cyprus, I miss you.

I asked my teacher if he'd write me a reccomendation letter for the Edinburgh masters program I am applying for!! It's a great feeling because I'd been putting it off for a couple weeks. It's awkward when you don't really know the professor and they don't really know you- yet they're still supposed to write about how wonderful you are. Plus, he's a priest and I didn't know how to approach him. Do I call him "father"? I just went with "Hey, I have a question for you". It went well. 

Borrrrrrrrrrrring.

Blogging will improve when:

1. I have the pictures from this weekend up

2. I am not distracted by wanting to squeeze as much in w/ Liz as I can before she leaves (SAD)

3. I take a successful shize (it's been too long)

4. I'm not so tired (LAME, when people complain about being tired. I try not to do it too much- but every now and then it's just unavoidable. SO TIRED)

5. Someone decides to pay me for blogging. "Professional blogger" seems like such a CAKE job. I would just have to find something more interesting to write about...because my life just isn't cuttin' it in the interesting department right now.

Still drinkin' green tea like it's liquid happiness, 

Madge

I almost pooped my pants!!

Love, 

MADGE

The Economy: Whaaaaaaat???????

For the past couple weeks I have tried my darndest to understand the global financial crisis. I've been listening to NPR's Planet Money podcast (which actually does help immensely) and reading the nytimes/wsj articles daily. As Bob Wiley would say.."I'm doin' the work! I'm babysteppin..." BUT, the whole things is still way way way way WAY too complex for me to grasp. I need help, and the sad thing is- EVEN WIKIPEDIA can't explain it. Today, I wiki-ed "securities" and got this:

  A security is a fungible, negotiable instrument representing financial value. Securities are broadly categorized into debt securities (such as banknotes, bonds and debentures), and equity securities, e.g., common stocks. The company or other entity issuing the security is called the issuer. What specifically qualifies as a security is dependent on the regulatory structure in a country. For example private investment pools may have some features of securities, but they may not be registered or regulated as such if they meet various restrictions.

HUH??? Okay, I guess I get it. A security is just a figure that represents the value of a certain product. I think. Right?

Moving on...

A mortgage is the pledging of a property to a lender as a security for a mortgage loan. While a mortgage in itself is not a debt, it is evidence of a debt. It is a transfer of an interest in land, from the owner to the mortgage lender, on the condition that this interest will be returned to the owner of the real estate when the terms of the mortgage have been satisfied or performed. In other words, the mortgage is a security for the loan that the lender makes to the borrower.

OK, that's a little clearer...now here's a toughy:

Collateralized debt obligations (CDOs) are an unregulated type of asset-backed security and structured credit product. CDOs are constructed from a portfolio of fixed-income assets. These assets are divided by the ratings firms that assess their value into different tranches: senior tranches (rated AAA), mezzanine tranches (AA to BB), and equity tranches (unrated). Losses are applied in reverse order of seniority and so junior tranches offer higher coupons (interest rates) to compensate for the added default risk. Since 1987, CDOs have become an important funding vehicle for fixed-income assets.

Some news and media commentary blame the financial woes of the 2007-2008 credit crunch on the complexity of CDO products, and the failure of risk and recovery models used by credit rating agencies to value these products. Some institutions buying CDOs lacked the competency to monitor credit performance and/or estimate expected cash flows. On the other hand, some academics maintain that because the products are not priced by an open market, the risk associated with the securities is not priced into its cost and is not indicative of the extent of the risk to potential purchasers.[1] As many CDO products are held on a mark to market basis, the paralysis in the credit markets and the collapse of liquidity in these products led to substantial write-downs in 2007. Major loss of confidence occurred in the validity of the process used by ratings agencies to assign credit ratings to CDO tranches and this loss of confidence persists into 2008.

Eh- I tired, but here's where I get lost. 

I think- I THINK, that CDOs are basically a bunch of different securities all bunched together. There may be some mortgage securities, some other types of loans, bonds, cash assets...yeah, I guess just a bunch of security-type things that represent a variety of products. People can buy shares of these security-bundles (CDOs). When they do this, they are owning little bits of every security...so maybe a little bit of someone's mortgage, a little bit of an airplane loan, a little bit of a corporate bond...etc. Every month people who own shares in these CDOs get money paid for by those investments/securities/whatever. 

SIGH. Now no one wants to buy shares in these CDOs anymore because they SUCK. Sooo...the government is going to buy them (with OUR taxpayer money), which means WE will all own shares in them. I guess. There's one big problem though- the government doesn't know how much they should buy these CDOs for because they currently have no market value (because no one else wants them!!).  So they'll have to make up a price and hope it works out. 

This is so hard. So, so, hard. I don't think I ever want to be a journalist if this is what it's like. 

I like jargon when I'm in on it. Like Bagel Shop jargon- Egg on ET no CB, for instance. I feel cool knowing what that means (eggcelent on an everything bagel with no canadian bacon).

I do NOT feel cool trying to decode finance jargon, however. I feel DUMB.

Thoughts?? Help??

ahhh- 12 minutes into Jeopardy already. Gotta go, 

Madge

America, America, This is Youuuu

One of our Ultimate Bagel regulars, Tattoo Tommy (asiago double toasted with easy lite jalepeno cheddar cream cheese) reminded me today that Alanis Morsette wrote her song "You Outta Know" for Uncle Joey Gladstone- Dave Coulier- from The Full House. That got me thinkin' about the ol' FH gang, which got me thinkin' about Bob Saget, which got me thinkin' about America's Funniest Home Videos...which got me thinkin' about America in general. 

                                     +     = "you outta know"

Which made me think about.........KFC BOWLS. Only our great nation would give birth to the infamous KFC bowl- an entire Thanksgiving dinner shoved into one bowl. Genius. I hear it's pretty disgusting, though. Too bad. It sure sounds good.

I guess everything that sounds good isn't necessarily good- but same goes for things that sound gross and end up being delicious. Take, for instance, Uncrustables. A couple years ago the bright folks over at Smuckers realized that making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is must too time-consuming for the average family. What with the untying of the twisty from the bread bag, the spreading of the peanut butter, the additional spreading of the jelly....Americans don't have time for that!! Not to mention having to wedge it into a zip-lock bag- FAR too much work. So, they invented Uncrustables. They're pre-made, individually wrapped PB&Js- simply take them out of the freezer the night before and wah la...you've got lunch. The best thing about Uncrustables, though, is THEY'RE ACTUALLY GOOD. I love to eat them frozen. In fact, they're better frozen. The PB freezes in a hard, cold, sheet and it's just tastey. 

I saw these the other day- they're new. Grilled cheese Uncrustables. I'm not so sure...I love grilled cheese and I love Uncrustables, but I don't know if I like the two of them collaborating. 

Oh- just in case the America's Funniest Home Videos theme song is running through your head right now, here's the video of it to help get it out of your system:

Sometimes crossword puzzles make me soooo maaaad, 

Madge

Gimme Gimme Moro, Gimme Moro, Gimme Gimme Moro

Yeesssssssssssssssss! Char and William sent me 2 Cadbury Moro chocolate bars as a belated b-day present!!!!! These things are THE best candy bar in existence. Hands down. No contest. It makes the Snickers look like a chocolate-coated turd. If you're ever in Ireland (they don't even have them in Scotland- C&W had to pick them up when they were over in PA for the Irish wedding), make sure to grab a Moro bar. Delish Delish Delish.

They ALSO sent me some McCoys Salt & Vinegar Crisps- the greatest satifsy-your-salt-craving item of all time. With every bite it's like- take THAT potato famine! 

Thank you Char and Millie!! Original goldfish are on the way....I'll get right on that. 

Yum,

Madge

Neighhhhhhhhhhh

SIDE BRAID! With a loooong tail. Can't afford a hair cut. Embracing my inner-horse.

Who's idea was it to give me a computer with a built-in web cam? 

In order to love others, you must first love yourself. Just doing my part, 

Madge

Thank You: St. Anthony, Psychic Sylvia Brown and Hilary Duff

I lost my ID card- but then I FOUND IT. On the floor of Barbie's van. Thank you St. Anthony (patron saint of lost things), you came through for me again!

Whenever I loose things, I tend to blame ghosts. I remember Psychic Sylvia Brown in one of her Montel Williams Show appearances saying that ghosts will often take things, and hide them- just to be tricky. Only the confused, think-they're-still-alive ghosts do it. So it's rare, but still- it happens. 

Woah. It just dawned on me that I haven't seen a decent episode of Montel in over a year. And that's just a guess. It could be even more than that! WHAT'S HAPPENED TO ME?! It used to be one of my favorite shows. Sylvia Brown was on at least 4 times a month. Listening to her raspy smoker's voice as she scratched her forehead with a long, acrylic fingernail...I learned so much about the paranormal from that woman. I owe her so much.

This is awesome. I LOVE Hilary Duff. Always have. Even after she got her horsey veneers. When I'd babysit the Breyesses we'd sit and watch Lizzy McGuire for hours- drinking capri suns and eating from a ginormous bag of butter-flavored popcorn. God, take me back there...those were THE days.

I got to talk about Cyprus in one of my classes today. I miss it, 

Madge

Unintentional Huffing

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, nausea...brain cells dying....need air....

A plastic yogurt container lid fell into the bottom of our dishwasher and hardcore melted during the drying cycle. good GOD the fumes!! Burnt plastic smell doesn't go away quickly. It's making me queasy. 

I'm watching Prez Debate #2 and it's a snoooooze. I think they're being a little better about being specific this time around, though. McCain is a hunchback. The red tie was a good choice for him- it compliments his blindingly white hair. Obama keeps going over the time limit. Brokaw isn't happy about it. 

Haha, John McCain is kinda funny. He's cracked a few jokes tonight. 

Brokaw: "This requires a yes or no answer: Is Russia an evil empire?"

McCain: "Maybe"

Hilar!! 

Martha and I started writing our novel today. Here's the just: Audrey and Leo (or perhaps an American Indian name...but that requires research, so it's Leo for now) work at camp, she has a crush on him, but he has a gf and is oblivious. Amidst the camp craziness (ACA accreditation, horrible camp directors, funny campers, crazy counselors, pranks...etc), the two finally get together, blah blah blah....IT'S GONNA BE GREAT!

I skyped with Char/William AND Francie/Noreen this morning. They both have webcams now, and it was so fun getting to chat face-to-face!! They are both coming home for Christmas, YAY!

Spokane was windy today. Wind is so pleasant when you are sitting inside, watching Oprah and drinking jasmine green tea. It is ANNOYING all other times. 

Would you rather never get to eat another POTATO or another TOMATO, 

Madge

P.S. Consider pasta/pizza sauce, scalloped potatoes & french fries

Grazin' in the grass is a gas, can you Digg it?

I love digg.com


Today, I read about a man who paid a £1,950 fare just to get to his friend's Stag party on time. I saw a bunch of pictures of world landmarks that have been replaced by cheap, souvenier versions (just check it out). And I found out that the crazy screaming man from that CSNBC show Mad Money told investors to get the H out of the stock market.

All things I would have never known if not for Digg.

Going to dinner for Clare's b-day in an hour...better squeeze into some jeans. UGH. My hair's too long again. HORSE. neigh, neigh, whinney whinney!! You know what would be cool about being a horse, though? Eating out of one of those leather pouches that harnesses around your neck. No hands!! You could get so much accomplished while enjoying a full meal- they should event ones for humans, especially video gamers, bloggers, knitters and ASL interpreters.

The Hills tonight? Might as well...

cheers, 

Madge

So, I don't think you can dance...

The worst kind of bad dancing is bad dancing as a result of an attempt at good dancing. Here are two great examples. 

I have the authority to criticize Melissa Joan and J-Simp because I myself am an amazing dancer. If you're one of the lucky ones who has witnessed my moves- ya know what I'm talking about. I can cut a rug with the best of 'em.

Today, after working out, I literally RAN to the quarter candy machines in lower Crosby for some peanut M&Ms. As I mature, my taste buds continue to surprise me. Never before would I choose peanut M&Ms over my all-time faves Hot Tams, Junior Mints or Tropical Dots, but recently I've fallen in love with them. So good! AND a lil' protein never hurts.

Not to resuscitate a dead horse, but this whole Wall Street thing isn't going away. I now listen to NPR Planet Money daily and the more I learn, the more I realize how complicated and massive this financial crisis is. It now seems the $700 billion bail out plan may not be "working". The scariest part of it all is that even the highly educated, extremely intelligent "technocrats" whose job it is to understand the economy admit there is no way of knowing the extent of the problem. This makes finding a solution quite difficult. Even worse, perhaps, is it's hard to know who to blame. There is a thin line between a healthy, thriving, complex, economy and an unstable, unregulated mess. The latest This American Life podcast covers the whole situation pretty thoroughly and it's available for free on itunes. Highly recommended.

FINALLY, it's cold in Spokane. For the first time since being back, I shut my bedroom window. Fall has...fallen and I shall enjoy it briefly before the snow starts piling up and making life miserable. For now, it's all about apple cider, crunchy leaves, pumpkin cream cheese (yummmm) and Halloween.

I'm done with the first season of Mad Men- my new favorite show. Last night I stayed up until 1:00 (WILD!) watching the first two episodes of season two on alluc.org. If you aren't watching this show, you better start.

I vacuumed my room finally- it's nice,

Madge

Week-in-Review 9/29-10/5 CANCELLED

Unfortunately, due to unexpected events (me not taking blog notes/me forgetting Amazing Race is on tonight), I will not be doing a sunday week-in-review video blog.

Martha and I walked downtown tonight and saw the movie "Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist"...it was pretty good- highlights: Michael Cera and the back of Maria Dalbotten's head. Lowlights: the thin plot and the title (everyone knows Nick & Nora's is a PAJAMA brand...they totally ripped them off!)

Tomorrow is Clare's birthday! We're all going out to dinner to celebrate- tryin a new place called Latah Bistro. They have pumpkin bread pudding. YUUUM.

I just read an interesting article about game show hosts. It has the nerve to ask if I remember who Alfonso Ribeiro is. Insulting! How could I forget Carlton Banks?!!? He's apparently the host of a game show called "Catch 21". 

Barbie went home this weekend and brought me back microsoft word! No more textedit! Word.

LOVE, 

Madge

P.S. I also don't want to video blog because I have ZITS. It's strange- I think it's the fish oil I've been taking.

P.P.S. I have to go because Barbie is back and she brought a FLANK STEAK for her brother. Her parents made it for him and now we have to go deliver it to him at Eastern. HA!!!!

Thank Gosh It's Friday!!!

Clare and I wrote an opinion piece for our school's newspaper. Check it out...

I'm in the library...such good people watching. NOBODY is actually studying. I see a lot of facebooking, hair-twirling, cuticle-inspections, and staring out the window...but no one seems to be working- myself included.

Egads, I'm going to be late for class- I better find a picture to post and QUICK.

Found one!

xoxo, 

smadge