After a week in Seaside, Andy and I are back in our cozy apartment on Alki. He's assembling a shoe rack. I have a tea towel tied around my head like Rosie the Riveter (bowl cut has grown horribly long and is poking me in the eyes.)
I don't have any ideas for what to write tonight. I'm tired and my ear/nose/throat canals are unusually dry. Itchy dry. Uncomfortable.
So, instead of the usual highly entertaining post, I'm going to lay out my plans for the future. Here it goes.
Short term
Put the duvet cover on the duvet (ugh - the worst).
Get a haircut.
Take the Amazon boxes out to the recycling.
Watch the latest America's Next Top Model.
Medium term
Continue to blog 'every day' after my Year-28 Challenge ends, except give myself the weekends off.
Buy a conehead Halloween costume, for old time's sake.
Buy a rug.
Buy a mini, indoor palm tree.
Get a response from an A-list celebrity on Twitter.
Long term
Go to Japan.
Raise a litter of children, one of whom trains as a massage therapist.
Put sunscreen on Andy's bald head every summer until he dies.
Monday tomorrow. Let's make it a productive one. Drink lots of coffee. Treat yourself to a chilled Kit-Kat in the afternoon. You know the drill.
Love,
Margaret
P.S. Are you Team Miley or Team Nicki? I think it's obvious whose team I'm on.
Our parents are shocked by rap videos. Their parents were shocked by Elvis' gyrating hips. Their parents were shocked by a glimpse of the female ankle.
Each decade, the popstars wear less. It's gotten to the point that they're now just naked. Miley Cyrus posts full on naked pictures of herself on Instagram and we're just like, "Yeah... Anyway, where did you put the pretzels?"
Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, polysexual, pansexual, asexual—we're fine with them all. Everything's great. It's all OK. Not shocking. Increasingly not even interesting.
Every other day I watch a guy shoot fireworks out of his butt on YouTube. I'm not proud of it, but I once watched a 7-minute video of a woman popping her husband's ginormous neck zit. It was only later, lying in bed that night, that it dawned on me: that wasn't a zit at all; it was a BOIL.
Anyway, you get the idea. Nothing is shocking. Not nudity. Not sexual orientation. Not gross stuff.
I absolutely love that we've reached this inclusive, 'who gives a rip' stage in human history (by "we" I mean young liberal people).
But I still have a sneaking suspicion that, when I'm 90, the "kids these days" will do something that shocks me. I'll ask my grandkids to explain it to me, and I'll tell them stories of how "In my day, you used to have to wear clothes at the supermarket." And they'll laugh at the very idea.
I regularly promise myself (with Andy as my witness) that, even as the world changes around me, I will always be open to new ideas. No matter how tempting it is, I'll resist the urge to cling to the past out of fear and nostalgia. It's the better way to be.
Still, I'm curious. What will shock us? Displaying taxidermied human relatives in our living rooms as home décor? Maybe.
Your wise ol' pal,
Margaret
P.S. Man, there's something about being 28 that makes you think about ageing like you never have before. It's bizarre. Maybe it's the wrinkles I just noticed around my eyes. Or maybe it's the fact that I don't really understand who Calvin Harris is. Whatever it is, it's causing me to cry at HSBC commercials and write blog post oaths to my future 90-year-old self.
Firstly, let's just enjoy this photo from my shaved-head-grow-out phase:
OK, now to the meat of this post: Here's to having an open mind!
Raise your glass. It's truly something to cheer about!
Thanks to an open mind, and a late night YouTube exploration, I landed on Miley Cyrus' channel and discovered her 'Backyard Sessions.'
Yes, Miley is annoying and yes, as my friend Kaley pointed out, she talks like she has the world's largest permanent retainer stuck to the roof of her mouth, but these videos are great.
Also, I watched an interview with her on Ryan Seacrest's radio show (it's funny that they film radio shows now) and (again) she was annoying, but relatively self-confident - which is not true of many former child stars.
I liked this song the most:
So there you have it. I am a 26-year-old woman and a Miley Cyrus fan.
In the spirit of open mindedness, let me know what your not-so-guilty pleasures are in the comments.
More blog posts to come in the near future. I have been working on my work website, so apologies for the lack of Madgespace action!
The other day I had the misfortune of viewing three of my idols, Joshua Lyman, Toby Ziegler and President Josiah Bartlett, in a YouTube video of a commercial they shot years after the West Wing ended. I was stunned by Josh's sagging jowls and Toby's sunken cheeks. To be frank, they looked like they had one foot in the grave. They looked over the hill. They looked OLD.
Here- check it out yourself.
Since watching the video the first time I have recovered from my shocked and realized that when the video was shot a significant amount of time had passed since their youthful West Wing days. It's the same as when you see any celebrity years down the road. I remember seeing a video of Judy Garland in her later years and being stunned by her wrinkles and gravelly voice.
Guess who this is?
SHIRLEY TEMPLE!!!
She's the last person you'd suspect would get old. But she did. We all do. And you know what? I am OK with it. I'm looking forward to aging gracefully like a wise old Japanese woman (better start drinking some green tea) and I can't wait to not give a rat's arse about anything because I've "been everywhere" and "seen it all." Exciting!
I have, however, laid out a few ground rules for my personal aging process. I advise you to follow suit.
1. Moisturize the face frequently 2. Never give up wearing colors and patterned prints 3. Play chess and do crosswords to keep the mind buzzing 4. Avoid wearing "young persons clothes" such as low-rise jeans after the age of 40, but never shop at stores solely aimed at the middle-aged, such as Talbots. 5. Remain open to learning new technologies 6. Never have hair longer than shoulder length after the age of 50 7. Smile as much as possible 8. Exercise, even if it just means swimming because the joints can't take running or walking 9. Travel to warm climates and soak up the vitamin D 10. Dance to tunes from the good ol' days 11. FLOSS and brush the teeth often. Toothaches are THE WORST
Well, I am going to scan the blogs and then hit the hay. Also, I am back on Twitter now. I didn't break from Twitter like Amanda Bynes or Miley Cyrus (both of whom are back on it now), but I simply forgot about it completely. I've been tweeting tonight and enjoying it. Look out for @grassyllama if you know what's good for you.
Hello lovely people! It's been a while. What have I been up to? So nice of you to ask!
Well.....
after Christmas I went down to visit Andy in his hometown called Hampton-in-Arden. That is not a joke. Hampton-in-Arden. Being the jazzy character I am, the nickname "H-in-A" naturally emerged from my fat, American, mouth. Shakespeare used to live nearby. The Shakespeare.
Anyway, it was quite the experience. A perfect blend of relaxation and doing stuff. Sitting around with his fam watching cricket and drinking tea all morning but roaming around a nearby CASTLE and meeting up with his friends too.
Me jumping at the Kenilworth Castle:
The road-trip back to E-burgh was also enjoyable. We drove through the Lake District and stayed up there with our friend Jonny for the night before heading back home the next morning. Jonny had his skis in the car and I skied down an icy hill! Thrilling! There were sheep watching me!
Jonny and Andy walking up an icy road:
Skiing!
"Burrrrrrr" they kept saying. Was it because they were cold, or because they are sheep? I'll never know.
Enough about me. Man, I have some funny stories that would be perfect for Madgespace, but they all involve people who read this blog! How am I suppose to dish out all the juicy gossip without offending people? What a treacherous tightrope of politeness I must walk in this blogging business.
Instead, I will divulge my own secrets. So, I guess rather than 'enough about me' I really meant 'more about me'.
To begin, I went commando all last week due to lack of clean gunders. Secondly, if I am walking with my iPod and cool-looking people walk by, I switch from whatever horrible/wonderful song is playing (Miley Cyrus: Party in the USA) to something more acceptable JUST IN CASE they can somehow hear it too. Thirdly, I think Celebrity Big Brother is absolutely wonderful. Fouthly and finally, I have never seen: Top Gun or ET and have faked knowledge of the movies my whole life.
Toodledoo,
Madge
P.S. How can we be expected to accomplish anything when LOST starts in 7 days?!?! Can I get a 'what what'!?
P.P.S. I am going to think of some delightful, witty, intelligent, quirky, interesting things to say for my next post. I promise!
