Would a poop by any other name smell so bad?

What words and phrases do you hate?

I'm not fond of 'starter home'. When people say "it's our starter home" they are being pretentious.

My mom doesn't like it when people say 'no problem' or 'no worries' instead of thank you. Andy and I both admit that we do this all the time. Must be an our generation thing. She also doesn't like 'how's your day so far' or 'my bad'.

Andy hates when people throw 'go ahead' into a sentence for no reason. For example, "I'm going to go ahead and add you to the email list" or "If you could just go ahead and provide your feedback, that'd be great".

My dad can't stand when young people respond to something with a trail of yeahs. He says he'll often say something very interesting, only to be met with "yeah, yeah, yeahyeahyeahyeah..." Apparently it happens all the time.

Francie, according to Char, doesn't like the use of 'super' as a substitution for 'really'. For example, "their wedding photos were super cute" or "they just bought a super big starter home".

Oh god—want to know the WORST one? I was once working on some copy for a large UK bank and one of their employees let me in on some juicy insider gossip. An irritating new phrase was spreading like wildfire through their office.

"Please revert"

YEP. That's how people at this bank were signing off their emails. They'd say something like, "Hi Bob, I've attached those reports that you requested. We're keen to hear your feedback. Please revert. Thanks, Sally"

Is that not terrible? Please revert. It doesn't even really make sense. Apparently it originated in India. Software developers and other tech professionals were using in their emails to colleagues in the US and UK. And the rest is history.

In other news, today I got a strawberry smoothie (they call it a smoothie, but really it's a milkshake) from Tully's and it was TO DIE FOR. I don't know if it was just because I'd walked 35 minutes through a soulless business park on Mercer Island to get there, or if it really was that good, but boy did it hit the spot. Obviously it did, as I'm still thinking about it now, several hours later.

Goodnight,
Margaret

Animal husbandry

I'm obsessed with the term 'animal husbandry'. I don't know what it means, but I've always just loved the sound of it. Animal husbandry. Husbandry. Animal husbandry. You've got to admit, it has a ring to it.

This isn't the first time I've become obsessed with a word or phrase solely for its mellifluousness. (Now that's a word. Mellifluousness! Look it up.) I've also been stuck on 'candelabra' and 'formaldehyde' at various times in my life.

In addition to the way the word sounds, the way it causes me to stretch my jaw is another big appeal. 'Formaldehyde' is the perfect example of this. Going from the "or" sound—lips puckered like an anteater snout—to the "al" sound—teeth bared like a grinning hyena—just feels so good. With only one word, you get a really satisfying jaw stretch. FOR-MAL-DE-HYDE. Try it. FOR-MAL-DE-HYDE. Feels good, right? If you repeat it enough, it's the same as facial isometrics.

I've also been chanting 'animal husbandry' in my head all day because Andy, my husbandry, is arriving in Seattle tomorrow! The wait is over. In less than 24 hours, we'll be drinking tea, listening to a summer playlist and watching the sunset from our living room window. Oh, to be a smug couple again...I can't wait!

Speaking of Andy—I'm sure you've already heard the news by now—his cricket team, Woodcutters CC, won the ESCA Cricket Presidents Plate Final today! Congrats, Woodies!

Photo and video via the Woodcutters CC Facebook page

Sooooooooooo tired right now. Goodnight!

Margaret

Full hearts, sore calves, can't lose

I'm sick of 'beat the heat'. It's ubiquitous. Every radio ad, 7-11 marquee and kayak rental Groupon is leading with 'beat the heat' these days. I'm tired of it!

The whole train ride back from Vancouver, I tried to think of an alternative. The best I could come up with was, 'Don't let the temp make you a wimp'. Clearly, that won't do. 'Beat the heat' stays until further notice.

What in heaven's name?

Image via Wikimedia Commons

Hanging out with my Grandma—God love her—took it out of me. That woman can talk the hind legs off a mule. Speaking of hind legs, my (extra large) calves are aching. I did the thing where I decided to walk from the water taxi instead of wait and take the shuttle. I chose to walk for 25 minutes instead of wait 5 minutes and get a ride. That, my friends, is what being impatient looks like. I am clinically impatient. It's a condition. I have it.

All of this is to say, I ain't proper bloggin' tonight. Get that through your thick skull. It ain't happening! Nothing to see here. Move along.

Hasta,
Margaret

Today's vocab word: "Ravine"

In fourth grade my teacher gave the entire class the same vocabulary word to study for homework. She picked the word out of a book we were reading. The assignment was to go home, look it up, write it into a story and then draw a picture of it to present to the class the next day.

The word was: ravine.

Now, I already knew what a ravine was. I knew the word well.

Beyond our backyard fence happened to be quite a sizeable ravine. My siblings and I would spend hours in the ravine building forts out of branches and moss. My sister Francie even pooped down in the ravine once. It formed a perfect S-shape and we ran back up to the house as fast as we could to tell my mom all about it. I'm sure she was very proud.

Anyway, back to the assignment. When I got home that day I skipped the dictionary and went straight for the crayons. I drew a lovely ravine covered in grass, ivy and blackberry bushes.

Image by Lairich Rig via Geograph.org.uk

The next day, we all stood up one by one and presented our picture and story. Everyone had drawn a very similar scene, as you can only be so creative with the word ravine. In hindsight, not the best choice, Ms. Bowker.

Then, just when I'd seen enough ravine drawings to last me a lifetime, things got interesting.

It was time for the last student to present his story. Kyle H., a towhead who walked on his tiptoes (rumour was he had "short calf muscles") bounced to the front of the classroom and held up his drawing. It was of a bird, very majestic with broad shoulders, black feathers and a bright orange beak. He read off his 3x5 card, "Once there was a large black bird similar to a crow but bigger. He was called a raven..."

OH. MY. GOD. He had written about a raven. And even after seeing his 28 classmates do presentations on a ravine—a narrow gorge with steep sides—he'd gotten up there and told us his bird story anyway. Not only was he not embarrassed, but I suspected was he wasn't even aware of his gaffe.

When he finished his story, the stunned class just clapped as we did for everyone else. He took his seat, beaming with pride (it was a fantastic raven drawing).

Later that year Kyle H. and I would be the only two kids in the class to contract chickenpox. Everyone else had gotten it when they were toddlers. Other than that, the Scandinavian hair, the tiptoe-walking and the legendary raven presentation, I have no idea what became of him. I don't remember ever seeing him after elementary school. Maybe he moved away or perhaps our paths just never crossed in junior high and high school. Regardless, that raven/ravine moment was the highlight of my fourth grade year.

---

In other news, Char, Andy and I watched the 2011 'Best Documentary' Oscar winner this evening. It's called 'Undefeated' and I highly recommend it. Has some heartbreaking moments, but overall it's uplifting. Not too heavy and depressing like so many docs.

Also, rumour has it Prince Harry and Emma Watson are dating. If that's true, I really don't see it working long-term.

Hope y'all are having awesome weekends!

Love,
Margaret

Word association

I don't have anything to say. But that's never stopped me before and it won't stop me now!

How about a game of word association? Yes! Let's do it.

WRITER'S BLOCK

OK, that makes me think of this block of salt I saw once when I was 10 and in Lake Chelan on a family reunion. My mom told me it was called a 'salt lick' and that it was for deer. They like salt a lot, so people put up 'salt licks' as the deer version of a birdfeeder. The thought of a deer coming across a giant block of salt in the woods and thinking "jackpot!" really tickled me. Still does.

SALT

I worry that my diet contains too much salt and that it's raising my blood pressure. High blood pressure is also a common side-effect of my migraine pills. So, this week I bought a blood pressure monitor on Amazon! It already arrived and so far my readings are normal. But I want to test myself after I take down a tray of nachos.

PRESSURE

Here's a good example of the small differences between America and the UK. In America, we would say "the Seahawks are pressuring the Patriot's defence". But in the UK, they would say "the Seahawks are pressurising the Patriot's defence". Pressurising! Same goes for "orientated" instead of "oriented" and lots of other words that I can't think of right now.

SEAHAWKS

I hope the Hawks win this SuperBowl and then become really bad again for the foreseeable future so that I don't have to care or support the NFL or argue with my future son about the danger of concussions. Blasphemy, I know.

Image by Tomasz Przechlewski via Wikimedia Commons

Live it up this weekend!

Margaret