Mental dares

I'm gonna tell it to ya straight: I'm tired. Not a complaint! Just a statement. A STATEMENT. God, can't people make statements anymore without getting the third degree?

I've spent the last few days writing about the UK's upcoming pension reforms and my brain hurts. Learning new things—who knew it could be so hard?

Anyway, I'm dying to get in bed, sip some Tesco's Finest Peppermint Tea (in a posh mesh bag) and crack open a pack of purple Skittles. They've been burning a hole in my pocket for three hours.

So I'll keep this short and sweet (kinda like how I like my men? haha?).

The other day I read about a man who was sentenced to six years in jail for punching a hole through an £8million Monet painting. He claimed he fainted and his fist just happened to take a tumble across the lovely 'Argenteuil Basin with a Single Sail Boat'.

But security footage said differently. It showed him walking up to that impressionist masterpiece, looking it square in the eye sailboat, and doing what Manet (I assume Manet and Monet were rivals) had always dreamed of doing. He gave that 140-year-old overrated collection of blurry brushstrokes a knuckle sandwich!

Now, it turns out he did it to "get back at the state" (Ireland, in this case). But I like to think he just did it. No reason. Just wanted to do it and did it. Why do I like this theory better? Because I think of doing crazy stuff like that all the time. It's actually bad. It's a compulsion. I'll walk by a stack of produce in the supermarket and think to myself, just knock all those lemons over! Just do it!

The worst mental dare I give myself is to kiss the random acquaintance/stranger I happen to be talking to. Just lean over and interrupt them mid-sentence with a big, sloppy smooch. I never have and never will act on such an absurd and possibly criminal thought, but I can't seem to shake the recurring "just kiss them, just do it" dare from my head.

I thought I was alone in my madness, but Andy told me that Bill Burr talks about this in his standup.



Would you look at that? Turns out this post isn't as short as I originally anticipated. I guess if you spend the first couple paragraphs complaining explaining how you're tired, the words really start to add up.

Before I forget, the magic eye from yesterday was a rose. But I got it off a creative commons website and it looks like some girl just made it (it wasn't an officially sanctioned 'Magic Eye'). So don't feel bad if you didn't get it. She could just be lying to us and there's actually nothing hidden in there at all.

Love,
Margaret

Taylor Swift 1989: REVIEW

It's been a while since I bought an entire album on iTunes, but the Tay Swift hype got to me. My cousin Martha was the first to tip me off about it. "Every song is good."

So, a couple weeks, seven login attempts, and an Apple ID reset request later, I BOUGHT IT. I've only given it a few listens, but if gut reactions were made for anything, it's a Taylor Swift album review.

My verdict?

Throw a handful of Skittles in your mouth and scroll down!

I would never ask you to do anything I wouldn't do myself.

It's a 9/10!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It immediately hooks you in and speaks to your soul. Brilliant, story-telling verses and snappy, upbeat choruses. Lots of energy. Lots of heart. Lots of classic TaySwift on-the-nose lyrics. LOVE IT.

As I walked around Edinburgh listening to it, I kept thinking to myself, 'OMG, I bet this one's about Harry', 'Wow, this one's definitely about Harry.' 

If I had to fault it for anything (aka the reason it's not 10/10), its that the songs can feel a bit samey when you listen to the album the entire way through. Kind of like how Nina Garcia had to remind kiwi Sean not to rely too much on fringe for his fashion week collection, well, TaySwift might rely a bit too much on amazingly-catchy love songs. And it's hard to blame her, she's so dang good at them. But I would also love to hear her take on an anti-war protest song or a girl power duet with Celine Dion. 

Also, it's worth repeating: nothing will ever beat 'Trouble'. That tune belongs in a hall of fame. It's impossible to top. 

Ugh, the post-Skittles tummy ache is starting to set in. #WorthIt

Skittles, 

Margaret