Showing posts with label winter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label winter. Show all posts

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Polar and Naked Mole Rat

I have two hot water bottles. I know, I know. I'm not usually one to brag, but hot water bottles actually aren't that expensive! And boy do they do a great job of keeping you warm in the freezing Scottish winter.

One sits in a white, faux fur case. I call that one Polar.

The other is blue, with a geometric pattern on its back. That one doesn't have a case, so I call it Naked Mole Rat.

They make a darling pair.

Polar, with his coat of fur, isn't as hot at first, but he stays warm longer. NMR is piping right after you fill him, but he cools down quickly.

My babies. My GORGEOUS BABIES!

Hot water bottle tips
  • Always use boiling water out of the kettle. Yes, this will cause the water bottle to eventually melt and leak. But hot water from the tap simply isn't scalding enough. 
  • Put the hot water bottle under your covers 30 minutes before you plan to get in bed. That way your sheets will be nice and toasty for you at bedtime. 
  • After pouring the boiling water down the neck of the hot water bottle, squeeze it at the shoulders so that it's air-tight around the waterline before you screw the cap back in. This makes the hot water bottle nice and squidgy. If you don't get all the air out, it will feel hard and bloated when you go to cuddle it. 
  • In the middle of the night, when you realise it's gone cold, throw it out of bed like an old sock. It's no good to you anymore and it's taking up precious bed space. Girl bye! 

Goodnight,
Margaret

Sunday, November 23, 2014

10 essentials to help you hibernate this winter

I find it really difficult to shave my legs in the winter. The process itself is annoying in any season (bending down in my cramped shower, having to be careful around the ankle, water gradually getting colder...). But in winter, the main struggle is motivation. I wear jeans every day, so it's hard to be bothered with the whole dang rigamarole.

I was just reading about Bruce Jenner in US Weekly. It said he was recently spotted around town sporting a pair of freshly shorn pegs. Oh Bruce. Do whatever makes you happy, but why start with shaving the legs? It's the biggest pain in the arse ever. Don't let society pressure you into thinking hairless legs is some sort of hallmark of feminine beauty.

OK winter, let's do this. 
Anyway, enough about all that. I promised you a stereotypical top-ten blog post, and that's what you're going to get. Here it goes. Essential items for your winter survival.

1) Electric Kettle — If you're British, you definitely already have one. If you're American, maybe you only have a stove-top kettle. Get with the times. Don't wait eight minutes for water to boil—you need tea fast, and often.

2) Hot water bottle — When I was younger (but probably still too old for this) I used to dress up my hot water bottle and call it my baby. My warm, snuggly, faceless rubber baby.

3) Vita bath — Hands down the best bath gel on earth. It smells of fresh pine trees. Or, as Andy put it, "It smells like the definition of clean."



4) Pretzels — Stock up on lots of pretzels, and various items to pair them with (dips, cheese, peanut butter, etc.). It's important to snack a lot during winter, because you're cold and bored. Get under the covers, get a good show up on your laptop and treat yourself to tea and snacks. Change the sheets whenever the crumbs start to inhibit your sleep.

5) Candles — Exhibit A.

6) Potatoes (large)— Baked potatoes ('jacket potatoes' if you're British) are the perfect winter dinner. Lots of delicious carbs to keep you warm. Top it with beans, cheese and bits of bacon (if you're a carnivore).

7) Theraflu® (Lemsip if you're British)— Drinkable medicine for those nasty winter colds. Please note: don't try to eat the powder raw. See the video below of a weird long-haired girl learning that lesson the hard way.



8) Reddit — If you're still scrolling through Buzzfeed for your daily fix of amusing web content, go ahead and stop. It's time to graduate to Reddit, which isn't as scary or confusing as you think. It's also where all decent Buzzfeed stories come from, before they're chopped up and spun into ridiculous clickbait about why the 90s were great. You don't have to sign up for an account or participate in any discussions to find Reddit a useful source of news and entertainment. I'm not saying it doesn't have it's flaws, but it certainly beats Buzzfeed, Gawker, Upworthy or any of that other nonsense.

Oh, and you need it for winter because you'll be spending even more time indoors, on the computer.

9) Kindle — Because you're not going to emerge into the wind, hail, sleet and snow to hit up Barnes & Noble (Waterstones if you're British). And don't give me that "I just love the feel and smell of an actual book" crap. We get it, you're classy. But the truth is that Kindles make reading super convenient, and you end up reading more because of it. On those blustery winter days, knowing that the entire Hunger Games trilogy is residing in your e-Reader is a very secure feeling.

10) Matches — For lighting candles (see above), fumigating the bathroom after a particularly smelly number two (you can't crack the window, it's too cold out there!) and, for those of you lucky enough to have a fireplace, building a lovely crackling fire to cosy up next to. Unlike the Kindle, when it comes to creating fire, a classic approach is best. Forget those fancy butane lighters. Head to the shop and pick up a box of wooden stick matches.

What are your winter must-haves?

Wiedersehen,
Margaret

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Kargaret Kay-Kardashian

I'm seriously considering buying something from the Kardashian Kollection. The Winter 2014 line.

Although the rational part of my brain says,"Don't give them any money! They don't need it!" and "You have neither the body nor the occasion for a black jumpsuit with a mesh and velvet-lined sweetheart neckline", the emotional, Sasha Fierce part of my brain thinks WHY NOT?!

With a bit of bronzer, some fake lashes and a leather bodycon dress, I could rule the world.

Actually, my feeling toward the Kardashians' winter collection is a microcosm of my feelings toward the ladies in general. Intellectually, I'm against them. Spiritually, they are my soul sisters. Fellow goddesses of sultry, Armenian beauty. Audacious in their fashion choices, unapologetic for their fame.

Do the stuffed leopards and white ukeleles come with the dress, or do you have to buy those separately?

Siiiigh. I've had a busy day of work, and staring at this screen is making my eyes hurt. Although I could write a dissertation on my complex feelings about the Kardashians, it's probably best if I refrain and direct you to my #TurkeyHat giveaway instead.

If you haven't entered for a chance to win the fantastic piece Thanksgiving garb, do it now! You only have until Saturday morning (Edinburgh time). Don't let his opportunity pass you by!

There will be a better blog tomorrowI promise!

Love,
Margaret
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