10 essentials to help you hibernate this winter

I find it really difficult to shave my legs in the winter. The process itself is annoying in any season (bending down in my cramped shower, having to be careful around the ankle, water gradually getting colder...). But in winter, the main struggle is motivation. I wear jeans every day, so it's hard to be bothered with the whole dang rigamarole.

I was just reading about Bruce Jenner in US Weekly. It said he was recently spotted around town sporting a pair of freshly shorn pegs. Oh Bruce. Do whatever makes you happy, but why start with shaving the legs? It's the biggest pain in the arse ever. Don't let society pressure you into thinking hairless legs is some sort of hallmark of feminine beauty.

OK winter, let's do this. 

Anyway, enough about all that. I promised you a stereotypical top-ten blog post, and that's what you're going to get. Here it goes. Essential items for your winter survival.

1) Electric Kettle — If you're British, you definitely already have one. If you're American, maybe you only have a stove-top kettle. Get with the times. Don't wait eight minutes for water to boil—you need tea fast, and often.

2) Hot water bottle — When I was younger (but probably still too old for this) I used to dress up my hot water bottle and call it my baby. My warm, snuggly, faceless rubber baby.

3) Vita bath — Hands down the best bath gel on earth. It smells of fresh pine trees. Or, as Andy put it, "It smells like the definition of clean."



4) Pretzels — Stock up on lots of pretzels, and various items to pair them with (dips, cheese, peanut butter, etc.). It's important to snack a lot during winter, because you're cold and bored. Get under the covers, get a good show up on your laptop and treat yourself to tea and snacks. Change the sheets whenever the crumbs start to inhibit your sleep.

5) Candles — Exhibit A.

6) Potatoes (large)— Baked potatoes ('jacket potatoes' if you're British) are the perfect winter dinner. Lots of delicious carbs to keep you warm. Top it with beans, cheese and bits of bacon (if you're a carnivore).

7) Theraflu® (Lemsip if you're British)— Drinkable medicine for those nasty winter colds. Please note: don't try to eat the powder raw. See the video below of a weird long-haired girl learning that lesson the hard way.

8) Reddit — If you're still scrolling through Buzzfeed for your daily fix of amusing web content, go ahead and stop. It's time to graduate to Reddit, which isn't as scary or confusing as you think. It's also where all decent Buzzfeed stories come from, before they're chopped up and spun into ridiculous clickbait about why the 90s were great. You don't have to sign up for an account or participate in any discussions to find Reddit a useful source of news and entertainment. I'm not saying it doesn't have it's flaws, but it certainly beats Buzzfeed, Gawker, Upworthy or any of that other nonsense.

Oh, and you need it for winter because you'll be spending even more time indoors, on the computer.

9) Kindle — Because you're not going to emerge into the wind, hail, sleet and snow to hit up Barnes & Noble (Waterstones if you're British). And don't give me that "I just love the feel and smell of an actual book" crap. We get it, you're classy. But the truth is that Kindles make reading super convenient, and you end up reading more because of it. On those blustery winter days, knowing that the entire Hunger Games trilogy is residing in your e-Reader is a very secure feeling.

10) Matches — For lighting candles (see above), fumigating the bathroom after a particularly smelly number two (you can't crack the window, it's too cold out there!) and, for those of you lucky enough to have a fireplace, building a lovely crackling fire to cosy up next to. Unlike the Kindle, when it comes to creating fire, a classic approach is best. Forget those fancy butane lighters. Head to the shop and pick up a box of wooden stick matches.

What are your winter must-haves?

Wiedersehen,
Margaret

10 Easy Ways to Improve Your Life

On the hunt for a decent blog topic, I decided to look though my old 'drafts' folder. It contains all the half-written posts my first-world lethargic arse never got around to finish writing. In one of these unfinished posts, I had the nerve to offer life advice! Oh the irony.

Found this gem in my iPhoto library. Have you ever seen anyone so carefree? Please take note of the waterproof footwear.

It looks like '10 Easy Ways to Improve Your Life' was just a bit too ambitious the first time around. I only managed to come up with four. Here they are:

1. Drink all beverages out of a wine glass. Add ice when applicable.

2. Buy nice hand soap that smells incredible.

3. Add butter and a stock cube to couscous when you cook it.

4. Throw stuff away! Don't be a hoarder.

Now, months later, I've mustered up the remaining six.

5. Turn email alert sounds off on your phone/tablet. You check your email often enough anyway. Alert sounds create a false sense of urgency.

6. Keep spools of dental floss everywhere - in your car, desk drawer, bedside table, purse, couch cushion, etc. You never know when you might need it.

7. Buy waterproof footwear (my Mom's #1 piece of advice).

8. Have two types of deodorants on the go at the same time. Switch between them daily. This will stop your pits from getting immune (not science, just a hunch of mine).

9. Read! Force yourself to open a book and read a few pages before bed (even if it's a dystopian sci-fi aimed at teenagers, or the work of your favourite Real Housewife).

10. Do something creative every now and then. Make a homemade greeting card, Mod Podge a piece of IKEA furniture, do a photo scrapbook on Snapfish, decorate a cake, shave a cat. OK, maybe not the last one.

There you have it. You've just been life coached. You may as well call me Gwyneth!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to read Brandi Glanville's memoir.

Cheers,
Margaret