Oh what a night

My Car2Go registration finally went through. As soon as I saw the email, Andy and I were off to Home Depot to buy a piece of plywood upon which we'll plaster a giant map of the Puget Sound. Exciting!

The car is a golf cart with doors. It screams loudly when you go up hills, and you feel every single abnormality in the road's surface—driving over a leaf is like the grand finale of Splash Mountain.

Home Depot was easy. We found some plywood for $14 and the guy even cut it for us. We were in and out within 10 minutes.

Just one problem. How's this large piece of lumber going to fit in the golf cart with doors? Poking out the back window? No. On it's side, diagonally between the two seats? No. On top of the folded over passenger seat? No.


Alas, I drove home and Andy waited in the parking lot with the plywood for an (expensive) SUV Uber.

Now I sit here, exhausted from the evening's activities, inhaling Mod Podge fumes and rubbing my belly full of Morningstar faux sausages. Please don't make me get off this couch. I'll sleep here. It's fine. Just don't make me move.

Guess which ones are fake. 

Wednesday tomorrow. Time flies.

Love,
Margaret

What do I have to gain?

What do I have to gain from...



...forgetting to eat breakfast and then, at noon, scarfing three 'Nuts Over Chocolate' Luna bars in three minutes.



...lying in bed in agony, bladder about to burst, yet refusing get up and walk to the bathroom.



...staying up hours past the point when I should have gone to sleep, allowing myself to get a second, third, fourth and even fifth wind, before finally collapsing on my laptop.



...continuing to sit on the couch long after all the natural light has left the room, avoiding the three-step walk over to the light switch.

Image by capl@washjeff.edu

...continuing to pick my nose even though years of nonstop picking has stretched my nostrils into gaping, quarter-sized holes.



...WebMD-ing "throbbing vein behind knee".




Goodnight,
Margaret

Little things that keep me sane

Life is strange, and the fact that we get through most days without an existential crisis is actually pretty impressive. How do we do it? We build our days around the little things that make us happy.

Here are some little things that I try to work into my daily routine. Feel free to add them to your own routines — I am no hog.

• Candles — I can't sing their praises enough. They're these small cylinders made of wax. A tiny piece of rope runs through the middle of them and pokes out the top. You light the rope and it burns slowly, creating a peaceful ambiance for hours. If you've never owned a candle before, I recommend you go buy one today!

• Coffee — Much like Mr. G, I need a cup 'o joe before I start the day. But I also like to drink coffee when I don't need it. I love the taste, the warmth, the smell and the activity aspect of drinking high quality coffee (I love an activity). 

• Downward Dog — Yoga is the best form of exercise. Why? Because afterward you feel like you've run a 10k AND had an hour's massage. It's fantastic. Unfortunately, I am too lazy and cheap to attend regular yoga classes. Instead, I just do 'Down Dog' for a while in my flat. It seems to do the job.

• Podcasts — Andy makes fun of me because I take my iPod with me when I take out the garbage. It's only a 2-minute journey to the dumpster, but listening to a podcast makes it better! Recently, I've been enjoying the 'This American Life' spinoff, 'Serial' (Note: if you're interested in Serial, make sure to start with the first episode). 

• Reality TV — If television is "chewing gum for the eyes", then reality television is...Starbucks' Tazo® Zen™ tea for the brain? Yes, I think that analogy works. Watching 'Geordie Shore', 'America's Next Top Model' and 'Real Housewives' is an ideal way to quiet the mind. 

• 'To Do' lists — Confession time: I add things that I've already done to my 'To Do' lists just so I can cross them off and feel great about myself. Today I added 'Get haircut' to the list AFTER I returned from the salon and then immediately crossed it off.

I feel like I've written this exact blog post before. Am I running out of material already? This ain't good. Maybe I will start keeping a journal of my daily experiences/encounters/thoughts, like David Sedaris does. 

Something I've come to terms with at the ripe age of 28 is the fact that motivation levels always ebb and flow. Some days you're TCB-ing like Richard Branson, and other days you're writing long 'To Do' lists comprised only of tasks you've already completed. 

Feeling guilty about unproductive days just isn't productive. Instead, enjoy those days and know that your next burst of motivation is just around the corner. Remind yourself that, if you actually had a pressing deadline, you would get the work done. 

As B*Witched would say, c'est la vie!

Cheers,
Margaret

A poorly excuse for a blog post

I really should try to ration my sick days over the course of the year. Day 12 of my Year-28 challenge is far too soon to lay my best cards out on the the table.

And yet, I actually am ill. Or "poorly", as they say here in Great Britain. Yes, did you know that? In the UK, they say "poorly" instead of "sick" or "ill".

"What's wrong, Margaret? Are you poorly?"

It's always seemed strange to my American ear. I think if they said, "Are you feeling poorly" it would be different. But they don't.

Also, Andy sometimes asks me: "Do you need any washing doing?"

That's the weirdest one. It's just insane. The translation is: "Do you need to do any laundry?"

Anyway, as you can probably tell, I am not writing or thinking that clearly. Elsie has pretty much given all of Edinburgh her horrendous cold. That whore.

Knowing that my condition wasn't letting up, I spent much of yesterday and today trying to take a photo of myself looking as miserable as possible. Just so I could prove to you, my readers, that I'm not faking it. Here's the best one:

Believable enough?

Have fab weekends!

Cheers,
Margaret

GOOD Things About Mondays

Howdy!

Who would have thought that becoming a full-time freelance writer would mean I blog less?

I can't figure out why, now that I have all the time in the world, I still can't drag my lethargic body over to the Macbook for a bit of occasional, recreational blogging. I've been doing yoga AND training for a half marathon, so weird parts of my body hurt. Today, it's my elbow. Maybe typing is simply too strenuous.

Well, in an attempt to dig myself out of this rut, I'm going to cheer you up with some reasons why Mondays are great. That's misleading. Mondays are generally terrible. Still, I am going to cheer you up with a list of some good things about Mondays. Here it is:

1. You can rest assured knowing that the week will get increasingly less productive from this day forward

2. If you live in the UK, Monday is Mad Men day

3. Assuming you did your grocery shopping over the weekend, you should have multiple options for what to eat for dinner. By Friday, it's usually just some cereal or a cheese sandwich made with the heal

4. You get to tell people what you did over the weekend - giving them a glimpse at your true, non-work self

5. You don't even bother with the "I really shouldn't go to Starbucks - it's too expensive - I should really just cut back on the caffeine" charade.


So, what else is new? Well, my new schedule allows me to spend a lot more time with Char and Freddie. Here I am giving the wee guy a bite of my apple:

Isn't he just adorable? Andy has given him the nickname 'The Ginger Fred Man'.

I've also been assisting Francie with her blog, watching The Mindy Project (needed a new show now that Project Runway and Drag Race are over) and making a lot of lattes on our espresso machine (Andy got it two Christmases ago but I'm only now really getting into it).

Tell me about your life!

Cheers,
Smadge