Where for art thou Internet?

I went to an Internet cafe today. How 1999 is that?

My Internet at home was being slow and I needed to upload a video for work. After about an hour of refreshing, turning the wifi off and on, fiddling around with Network Preferences, poking the router with a pen tip and praying to the almighty Skeegles, I gave in and walked up the hill to 'Alki Mail and Dispatch', a coffee shop meets post office meets Internet cafe.

But alas, the Internet there was also very slow. Perhaps all of West Seattle struggled with sluggish Internet toady. Perhaps all of Seattle. All of Washington. The WORLD. Who knows. It's just comforting to think I may not have been alone in this.

Kay kids gather around the fam's first computer. 

As I ran back down the hill—toes slamming into my boot tips, knees bracing themselves for every step, boobs sweating like Michael Jordan's head in the fourth quarter—I actually grunted "GOD DAMN IT!!!" out loud for the whole world to hear. Of course I made sure not to move my mouth so that people in passing cars wouldn't be able to read my lips or even know I was saying anything at all. But still. I was frustrated to the point of grunting in public. That's pretty bad.

Then I took a few deep breaths and reminded myself that nothing matters and everything will be OK.

Goodnight,
Margaret

P.S. I can't stop thinking about this 105-year-old Japanese sprinter. So inspiring! What do I have to do to be that healthy and live that long? I suppose I can start by cutting Recess peanut butter cups out of my diet.

When Time Hop gets ugly

There's this app called Time Hop that shows you what you were up to (your online activity) on this day a year, five years, eight years, ten years ago, etc. OF COURSE, you already know that. I'm not trying to be patronizing. The Madgespace audience covers a wide age demographic, and it's better to over-explain than leave my older constituents in the dark.

Anyway, Time Hop usually uncovers a super cute photo from back in the skinny, no-wrinkles days. It's a heartwarming walk down memory lane.

Today, however, things weren't so rosy.

Today, my sister Anna's Time Hop decided to take this unfortunate Facebook status out of mothballs:

So many questions. 

What in particular did Sara Bareilles do to move Anna in such a profound way? Was it a certain song? A music video? A TV interview?

To be fair to Anna, people used to treat their Facebook statuses a lot more like Twitter. Remember that? You could just update your status with any innane thought that popped into your head. For a while there, back in the early days, every status had to complete the sentence "I am..." It was wild. People's statuses would be like, "hating life right now because I have a test in the morning and haven't studied at all!!!!!!!111" or "pooping - lol."

Welp, that's me done blogging for the night. I promised myself I'd do a seven minute workout before bed. Bring on the wall-sits!

LYMI, 

Margaret

Things our kids won't have to deal with

Here we go, here we go, here we go again! Another guest blog post for your reading pleasure, and tonight it's from Kenmore's resident kidney expert, Francie Louise Fitzpatrick!!!

---

Things our kids won't have to deal with

1. Passwords. By the time our kiddos are grown, all logins will require face recognition or a fingerprint for access. No more forgetting and having to reset that dang Apple ID password.

2. Driving their own car. What a treat it’ll be to sit back, nap and arrive at a destination refreshed and ready to go.

3. The Internet cutting out or going slow. Why oh why do I still have to hold the reset button down on our modem/router every few months? This is unacceptable.

4. Cable TV. OK, I know people are already cutting this out of their lives, but what about live sports? How do you do that? I can’t live without access to Zag/Mariners’ games!

5. Laundry. Fingers crossed for this one, as I haven't quite figured out how it’s going to work. Perhaps everyone will have their own robot who will wash/dry/fold laundry?

Image by amboo who? via Flickr

6. Phone calls. This is particularly exciting when you think our kids won't have to allot the 20 minutes I just spent booking in our car for a service, calling the vet about a refill on our dog's thyroid medication, and talking to the Group Health consulting nurse about the rash my daughters have. The phone call is almost already completely gone. Even now we already know who's calling us so we can decide if we want to answer or not. Remember when caller ID first came out? That was wi-ld. I think it’s good that we'll be able to book everything online, but bad that my hour-long conversations with my cousin Maria will probably slip by the wayside, as we'll be too out of practice to keep the convo up for that long.

7. Thinking, in general. This is also pretty much gone. Even Keeley, my 3½-year-old, who’s basketball-playing abilities were discussed in yesterday’s post, is already starting to realize this. Here’s a snippet from last night’s discussion about the moon (something we talk about at least 10 times a day): "

"What's the moon made of?"— Keeley.

"Ummm rocks and dirt and…stuff…I don't really know..." I trailed off.

"Just look it up, Mom." — Keeley, completely unaccepting of my lame response and exasperated that I hadn't thought of Google already. 

Or, here’s an idea—it’s possible that our kids will have to think even more to set themselves apart from the masses. Everyone will have access to all the Googling they’ve ever desired (plus Internet search methods yet to come), so creative and unique answers will be highly rewarded. 


Obviously, most of these are just little luxuries that I think our kids will get to enjoy. Let's hope the world works first on bigger problems, like maybe war/guns/poverty, but after we overcome those, let’s agree to move on to the list above (preferably starting with laundry). 

OK, this turned out a lot whinier than I planned, but in true Madgespace style, I’m not going to change it. I will attempt to leave things on a high note though (pun intended). Here’s a video from my sister Anna’s birthday party a few nights ago where we set off a Thai lantern. Stick with it and you’ll catch some talk about the moon (ahem, Keeley), a certain dog going to the bathroom on the beach (ahem, Dessie) and lots and lots of tips for getting the lantern to launch (ahem, everybody).

 

Cherrio! 

Francie

You thought you'd heard everything re: the dress

But what do you suppose these identical twins see when they look at it? 

(I'm talking about Char and Francie, not the baby, which is the same baby in both photos)

Surely, they must see the same thing.




They have the same genes. 




The have the same eyes!




Read the email thread and find out.

Sibling survey
10 messages

Margaret Kay 

 Fri, Feb 27, 2015 at 7:13 PM 
To: Max Kay, Anna Gorohoff, Francie Fitzpatrick, Charlene Kay

By now I assume you all have seen the dress. Which do you see?

White/Gold

Blue/Black (goldish black)


I saw Blue/Black from the beginning and can't see White/Gold despite trying different lighting and squinting.
I'm wondering if we'll all see the same thing because of genetics.

---

Max Kay 
To: Margaret Kay
Cc: Anna Gorohoff , Francie Fitzpatrick, Charlene Kay

Everyone sees white/gold. blue/black is a hoax ­ shame on you margaret for trying to put one over on us!

---

Margaret Kay
Fri, Feb 27, 2015 at 7:38 PM 
To: Max Kay
Cc: Anna Gorohoff, Francie Fitzpatrick, Charlene Kay

OMG. Not surprised, you being male and prone to colour blindness. I'm holding out hope that mah sistahs back me up. #TeamBlueBlack

---

Charlene Kay
Fri, Feb 27, 2015 at 7:41 PM 
To: Max Kay
Cc: Margaret Kay, Anna Gorohoff, Francie Fitzpatrick

White and gold!

---

Francie Fitzpatrick

Fri, Feb 27, 2015 at 7:53 PM 
To: Charlene Kay
Cc: Max Kay , Margaret Kay, Anna Gorohoff

Blue/black, can't see white/gold at all. What the h!!!

---

Francie Fitzpatrick
Fri, Feb 27, 2015 at 8:05 PM 
To: Charlene Kay 
Cc: Max Kay, Margaret Kay, Anna Gorohoff

http://www.wired.com/2015/02/science­one­agrees­color­dress/

---

Anna Gorohoff 
Fri, Feb 27, 2015 at 8:45 PM
To: Francie Fitzpatrick
Cc: Charlene Kay, Max Kay, Margaret Kay

Blue and black! I see no gold at all 

---

Max Kay 
Fri, Feb 27, 2015 at 9:28 PM
To: Anna Gorohoff 
Cc: Francie Fitzpatrick, Charlene Kay, Margaret Kay

Right guys. Sure. Here's another test ­ what do you see?

---

Margaret Kay 

Fri, Feb 27, 2015 at 9:32 PM
To: Max Kay 
Cc: Anna Gorohoff, Francie Fitzpatrick, Charlene Kay

Good one!

Char and I are debating over this one...some say it's "salt" and others think it looks more like "snow"

---

Francie Fitzpatrick 

Fri, Feb 27, 2015 at 9:35 PM 
To: Margaret Kay 
Cc: Max Kay, Anna Gorohoff, Charlene Kay

Hahaha what a bunch of comedians we have in the fam!

---

There you have it. Even twins see it differently.

This blue/black/white/gold dress is history-making. A dress hasn't been this controversial since JLo's green Versace, which, looking back now, wasn't flattering at all.

What will the Internet have us talking about tomorrow? Can't wait to find out!

Love,
Margaret

Pod-a-Doodle-Doo Episodes 10 & 11 !

Hey hey hey,

So, I have a bit of a dilemma. You'd be surprised how both hard and easy podcasting is.

On the one hand, it's insanely easy. You just do a bit of recording on a voice recorder (not the best quality, but passable), you edit it for 2 seconds on Garage Band, you upload it for free to a podcast hosting site, you submit the RSS feed to iTunes and there you go - you're up and running!

But it's actually also really hard too. For example, it took me forever to find a podcast hosting site that created an RSS feed for me. That site works really well, except the 'embed' tool I could use to post the episodes on this blog doesn't work in Blogger! So, what I have been doing is uploading them to DivShare (another site) and embedding them here. This isn't ideal, since the plays/downloads don't count toward the overall stats - and if this is going to make me famous one day, I will need to know how many million people are downloading each episode.

So, to cut to the chase - just subscribe on iTunes! That's way easier for everyone!

But WOAH, just as I've been writing this I figured it out! Yippee! This is a fantastic development.

OK,  here are episodes 10 & 11 !

Episode 10 - This episode gets good once you get past the Sonics bit. Note to self - don't try to talk about things you actually know nothing about, tee hee.




Episode 11 -  Will Lance Armstrong make a comeback? Is horse meat really that gross? Mog, Ram and guest Sam take on the news stories of the week.




Cheerio you wonderful guys,
Margaret

K-Log

You just never know how the Internet is going to dictate your day. I wake up in the morning and can only guess as to what bizarre Wikipedia page I will be reading by 2:00 in the afternoon.

Well, guess what the Internet had in store for me today?

Kenny Loggins and his sweet, soft-rock weasel voice.

As I sit here listening to Rainbow Connection I must raise the question: Is Kenny Loggins likable? I'm not sure. But he definitely has that "it" factor, and don't you deny it. Plus, he is a WASHINGTONIAN! Kenny was born in Everett, Washington in 1948. Who knew?!

The original Lady Gaga? K-Log goes 'creepy-chic' for this epic album cover.

In other news, Char and I are yoga-ing tonight. Thankfully my "trapped wind" found its escape route this morning (it also functioned as my alarm clock). Now I can do cat pose without fear!

It's election day in the UK today. I am not a citizen and Kenny Loggins isn't on the ballot so I didn't vote. Instead I walked with Andy to the polling place and voted vicariously through him.

Slán,

Grassy

Where the H is my Robot Vacuum?

Hi,

Why on God's green earth is there not a robot vacuum scooting around my flat right now? Why isn't there a flying car parked in the driveway (besides the fact that I don't have a driveway)?

These things have been invented.

YEARS AGO.

Hmm, I wonder where they came up with

the idea for this robot vacuum's design (R2-D2)

Flying car= Amazing thing

So, why have they not broken into the mainstream? The vacuum (I always Google that word to make sure I spell it right because it's just so weird with the two 'u's) I can understand. It probably doesn't get into the corners very well and scares dogs/cats.

However, the flying car seems like an ideal solution to traffic and unreliable public transportation. I just don't get it. Maybe with all the hubbub about Global Climate Change (or as it was called in my day "Global Warming") the flying car seems like a step backward? I guess as soon as someone invents a solar-powered flying car we'll be in business. OR, wow- I just came up with this- why not wind power? It makes sense. It flies through the sky where there's always plenty of wind. DERN, I'm good.

Anyhoo, check out the other things that have been invented and ignored:

The perfectly-portioned one-click butter dispenser.

One-wheeled motorcycle (invented in 1931).

Drawers inside the stairs?! My mind has just been blown.

You'll never have to curl your toothpaste tube up again!

Check out more cool inventions from ye ol' days at BoredPanda. They are all pretty wonderful.

TGIF tomorrow!!! It happens every week, yet it never ceases to be exciting as all get out. FRIDAY, folks. FRIDAY. It's the best.

Love,

Margaret

Phoney and Deafiant

My friend George got punched by a deaf girl last night. The whole thing was very weird.

One of us saw one of them take George's phone off the table while he was up having a boogie to the song "I Saw Her Standing There". You know the one. It goes "She was just seventeeeeeen if you know what I mean. And the way she looked was way beyond compare...". Great song. We were doing the twist, spinning each other around, pointing at the singer and giving all our fellow dancers thumbs ups. If only it was possible to freeze that moment in all of its glory, because what followed was not pleasant.

It really did not help that they were deaf. It made us the bad guys. It made communication difficult -conveniently difficult- or maybe just difficult. They denied taking it before we even asked. I've seen enough episodes of Law&Order to know that's suspicious.

George was calm. He had just returned from two weeks back home in Greece. Goodbye sunshine, family, and delicious fresh-pressed olive oil. Hello frigid weather, puke-splattered streets and phone theft.

He and Andy motioned "Do you have the cell phone? Please give it back" as best they could. The main suspect and his friends heaved and flailed their bodies angrily. I was perplexed by the bizarre scene. They were so angry, but obviously not at the accusation which they knew was justified (by the way, the perpetrator has since texted using George's phone, confirming that he did indeed take it). So what were they angry at?

The situation was almost instantly impossible. We were at a standstill.

Then, in an act of seemingly unprovoked rage, the girlfriend of the main guy lunged at George and smacked him on his right eye. It made his eyebrow piercing bleed and swell a bit. The bartender got him some ice.

Our two options at that point were to leave the pub or to call the police. We just left.

What I learned from the experience:

1. There is no excuse for being objectively angry- not even deafness.

2. Most people are nice and understanding. The bar staff, for example, were genuinely concerned. And I will not forget that before the whole drama happened we were dancing with random, happy, friendly people.

3. Violence is irrational and scary. I felt sick a bit and apparently the bartender's hands were shaking (Andy saw when she was writing down his contact details).

Anyway, on a less depressing, more generic note- isn't the internet great? I'm STILL not over it's incredible awesomeness. Today, in Starbucks, I googled the lyrics to a song that was playing as I ate my chocolate chunk cookie (indulging after last night's insanity). Now the song is purchased and resting patiently in my iTunes library until I can get home and play it without the fear of disturbing the fellow s-bucks patrons. So, yeah, the internet is once again brilliant.

Love you,

Margaret

UPDATE: George has a legit black eye!

Who do you think you are?

I have figured "people" out. I know that is a very general statement, but it's true.

People (you know who you are) seek IDENTITY. They want to know who they are. They want their friends to tell them.

I realized this human-wide characteristic after I had to consult Facebook when someone asked me what my favorite movie was. It made me think- who AM I??It also made me think about the times I've asked my friends "How would you describe me to a stranger?" or "Do people know me as the girl who always wears shirts and sweatshirts with wildlife scenery on them?" or "What would you say my 'look' is? Native-American-chic?"

At Gonzaga I belonged to the elite group in which you could be called "bagel girl", which I took much pride in.

More evidence of this fascinating theory:

People are always defining themselves by what they're not. This is exemplified by Barbie Solbakken's famous words, "I'm just not a thai-food kind of girl" (It turned out she was a thai-food kind of girl, she just didn't know it yet).

When someone is particularly desperate for an identity they decide not to like amazing, wonderful, objectively good things like chocolate, Summer and LOST. I feel sorry for them.

When you're not quite sure who you are, it's common to consult your "roots". This might make you a Washingtonian, a Catholic, a Democrat, a Vegetarian or any other group society so conveniently places you in. Who am I? Ahhh, now I remember- I am a Catholic Democrat, a proud resident of Washington State and I do NOT eat meat. Sigh of relief. My identity has been found!

(By the way, I am clearly not talking about myself there. I am a pescatarian, after all)

BUT I am forever an Arrowhead Hawk, Kenmore Colt, Inglemoor Viking, and Gonzaga Bulldog.

When the father of my cousin's first college roommate introduced himself to my aunt and told her "I'm a pilot" she responded with "You're a pilot? So am I!" Of course, my aunt was talking about being a University of Portland Pilot while the man was talking about the other, lesser known, meaning of "pilot"- the one that means flyer of commercial aircraft. Though my cousin was mortified, each pilot was surely more secure in their identity.

So, if you ever want to make someone's day and secure their friendship at least temporarily, tell them who they are. Describe to them a defining characteristic that sets them apart from the crowd. They'll love it and they'll love you for it!

Don't believe me? Check out my Facebook page and see how many friends I have.

LOVE (it's almost Valentine's day),

Margaret

Editors Note: The above screen shot of a Facebook Interests section is not my Facebook page....simply a product of google image search.

Ayo Technology

Today I used Twitter to read about what John Mayer, Martha Foley, Juliana DaPandi (yes, she will always be DaPandi to me!!! Sorry Mr. Rancic), Anna Kay, Jody Norwood, Rob Dyrdek, Taylor Swift and many others are up to. 

Mayer's on a cruise. Martha's just finished her homework. Anna walked Oggie. Jody went on a 6-mile run in her new running shoes. Rob Dyrdek was hanging out with the cast of his upcoming movie. Taylor Swift went to her brother's induction into his high school's honor society. 

Pretty amazing that I learned all that from one lil' website. 

Next, I looked at some pictures a guy named Ahmed put up on Facebook. He worked at the hostel we stayed at in Cairo. 

Also on Facebook I viewed every picture that Barbie and I were tagged in together since Freshman year. Memory Lane!

This morning I Skyped with Char and Francie and Bobby with our webcams. They were in Scotland and Ireland, I was in Spookaloo. I could see them, they could see me. I showed F & B the box that my new anti-parasite herbs came in. They had a good laugh. 

Pretty soon (when I win the lottery) I am going to purchase a digital audio recorder so I can post interviews with various people on my blog. THAT will be groovy. 

My point is: TECHNOLOGY IS WONDERFUL. 

Then why do I get these urges to unplug my life and move into the forest? I dream about a quaint log cabin, next to a river and surrounded by humongous evergreens. Ohhhh the peacefulness!! The rushing sound of the river, a good book, candles, salmon cooked on a campfire, pungent pine needles everywhere! Maybe Walden was onto something. 

I think I will do it at some point in my life. Except I will probably take my laptop and allow myself to use it one day a week. Or whenever I want to, but just not excessively. It would be a GREAT thing to blog about. Haaaaaha. 

Slàinte, 

Margaret

From WALL to WALL

So my new favorite activity this past month has been reading through various facebook "wall-to-walls" between my me and my friends. For those of you over the age of 30 who are not familiar with "wall-to-walls" it is a feature on facebook that allows you to read everything you and a particular friend have written on each other's facebook pages over the years. 

Here are some of my favorite excerpts:

CONNIE/ME wall-to-wall:

Connie Gledhill (Willamette) wrote
at 10:05am on April 28th, 2006
ha.
i saw this squirrel running around today.. with either someone's sock or underwear in it's mouth.. i'm thinkin underwear tho.
it kept trying to stuff as much of it as possible in.
just thought you should know

Margaret Kay wrote
at 11:49am on April 28th, 2006
interesting because a couple weeks ago we threw some of my gross grandma underwear on the roof of our dorm...it is now not there....was the underwear gray?

Connie Gledhill (Willamette) wrote
at 2:35pm on April 29th, 2006
no. it was just white. ha

Connie Gledhill (Willamette) wrote
at 1:52pm on May 1st, 2007
hardy har. now it's your turn. tell me something funny

Margaret Kay wrote

at 3:21pm on May 1st, 2007
ok, here i go...

so i had this quiet asian friend in highschool and she was banned from riding northshore buses after sending out a mass email threatening to kill our bus driver. HAHAHa

oh wait...that was you...this, is, awkward.

well, here's another funny story. Today a girl came into the bagel shop and ordered a garlic bagel- but the kicker is....she pronounced it "garLACK"....hahaha, like lilac flowers....garlac....what a FREAK

TORI/ME wall-to-wall:

Margaret Kay wrote

at 12:06pm on January 17th, 2007
i'm decently tan, yes. what's your new years res? Mine is to stop picking my nose (cuz it stretches out my nostrils!) and Barbie's is to makeout with more boys.

Tori Mueller (Washington) wrote
at 12:17pm on January 17th, 2007
mine is to party more and to try and make steps in the direction of becoming a vegetarian. mostly its to party more though. im really bored right now in the law library. usually when this happens i watch the oc on youtube but dare i say that im not in an oc mood. i need to get a job, any suggestions? do you pick your nose often as is? i've never nosticed your large nostrils, now it will probably be all that i look at when i see you.

Margaret Kay wrote
at 12:42pm on January 17th, 2007
try to work at a movie theater so you can work with nerdy highschool kids and eat popcorn all day. in all honesty, i would suggest working in food service rather than retail, i've heard it's the lesser of two evils. i find my nostrils horribly large and i blame 20% of it on genetics and 80% on myself, an avid nosepicker (can't believe you haven't noticed). Sometimes when I'm unable to fall asleep at night I cup my nose and squish my nostrils together to reshape them. But I think the damgage is permanent.

Tori Mueller (Washington) wrote
at 12:57pm on January 17th, 2007
interesting, my sister and i both think our noses point up a little to much so we sometimes tape them down for a couple hours, ie the duration of watching a movie or something. i think you have gorgeous nostrils though. but i see where you are coming from (i do tape my nose down for gosh's sake!) this little comment box really does wonders for speeding things up here on facebook. have you ever gotten a massage? i bet its the best thing in the world.

OK, so I know people tend to zone out and loose focus when they see a really long post with big blocks of text, so I am going to hold off on any more wall-to-wall snippets for now. BUT do expect there this to be a reoccurring feature on my blog because I really just skimmed the vast surface of good material that's out there. Perhaps you will see me and YOUR wall-to-wall on here some day. Wouldn't that be a thrill for you!?! Ya betcha. So staaaaaaaaay tuned! 

Love, 

Madge

GOOD GOD!

....I rediscovered that video today when I was reading me and Connie's "wall-to-wall" on facebook. I posted it on her wall some time Sophomore year and I had since forgotten all about it. 

nightynight, 

madge