FB dislike button? There goes my blogging career

Facebook announced that it's going to add a dislike button, and guess what? I DISLIKE that idea. I dislike it very much.

Let's face it; this blog is a tedious experience for all of us. It's a chore for me to write and you to read. Sure, there are some gems, but more often than not, it's the banal musings of a madwoman in a housecoat.

Image via Wikimedia Commons

And unfortunately, I'm just as sensitive as I am self-deprecating. Only I am allowed to make fun of me. I can throw jabs, but you can't. Thus, the dislike button will crush me. Even just one dislike on a single post and I'll be throwing my laptop into Lake Washington and moving to some remote village in Canada.

I mean, I struggle with constructive criticism, so I can't even imagine what vague, unconstructive criticism would do to my psyche.

And the whole reason why Facebook is rolling this button out? So that it's not awkward when people like a news article about a tragic event or someone's status about how their cat died. OH COME ON. I've been a Facebook user for a decade (woah). By now, we all know that those people who 'like' inappropriate posts are simply using it as an 'acknowledge' button. Yes, it's lame, but we all know what they mean.

Apparently the new button is going to be presented in a way that makes it clear that it's not for showing disdain. It's supposedly going to be obvious that you aren't meant to use it as a way of saying, "Boooooooooooo! You suck!" But I don't know. We'll see.

Goodnight,
Margaret

When Time Hop gets ugly

There's this app called Time Hop that shows you what you were up to (your online activity) on this day a year, five years, eight years, ten years ago, etc. OF COURSE, you already know that. I'm not trying to be patronizing. The Madgespace audience covers a wide age demographic, and it's better to over-explain than leave my older constituents in the dark.

Anyway, Time Hop usually uncovers a super cute photo from back in the skinny, no-wrinkles days. It's a heartwarming walk down memory lane.

Today, however, things weren't so rosy.

Today, my sister Anna's Time Hop decided to take this unfortunate Facebook status out of mothballs:

So many questions. 

What in particular did Sara Bareilles do to move Anna in such a profound way? Was it a certain song? A music video? A TV interview?

To be fair to Anna, people used to treat their Facebook statuses a lot more like Twitter. Remember that? You could just update your status with any innane thought that popped into your head. For a while there, back in the early days, every status had to complete the sentence "I am..." It was wild. People's statuses would be like, "hating life right now because I have a test in the morning and haven't studied at all!!!!!!!111" or "pooping - lol."

Welp, that's me done blogging for the night. I promised myself I'd do a seven minute workout before bed. Bring on the wall-sits!

LYMI, 

Margaret

The ghost of Facebooking past

When I first met Andy I remember him boasting, "I've never once untagged myself in a Facebook photo, no matter how unflattering."

I must admit, it was that bold chat that lured me in. I mean, what a way to live your life! Leaving all the bad-angle, double chin, lazy eye, fat arm snaps out on display for the world to see.

Unlike Andy, I've untagged myself a few times. I don't untag anymore, but I did back in the day. Still, I've left enough cringetastic gems in there to keep things interesting.

Today I took a stroll down Facebook memory lane and I came across one particularly hilarious photo. It's not the photo so much that's funny, but the stuff around it. There were three elements that made me guffaw. I've circled them in red.

Speaking of Facebook, did you hear that you can now select a person to take control of your account when you die? I'm currently accepting applications. I can't choose Andy because he will definitely use it as an opportunity to prank me posthumously. He'll change my status to "greetings from the grave" or something.

Whichever candidate I choose, your first job is to turn my all my Facebook activity over the years into a hardback book to be preserved in The Library of Congress until the end of time. Your second job is to delete my account so that it can't be used as a shrine (kind of like with Osama).


Well, that got morbid fast.

Love,
Margaret

Status Update

Oh man, I have been la-zy when it comes to blogging. Lay to the zee. But it's only because I've been 'working' so much! Andy and I somehow got ourselves a job building a website for an Indian restaurant. It's finished now, but the process probably took about 3 years off my life.

Things with the bowl cut are going well, thanks for asking. I was hoping to only get one more trim before I go to Seattle in August, but two days ago I woke up with a mullet. It's not the actual mullet that I'm worried about - it's the fact that people might think I've intentionally grown it to be a hipster. That, I couldn't cope with. I've booked an appointment for another 40 POUND haircut next week.

But enough about me - here's an update on Andy. He's been working on an exciting project.  It's a spin-off of his tutoring business. I won't reveal what it is yet, but stay tuned. Also, here's a photo I took after making him pose like a Real Housewife (except with a cricket ball instead of fruit):

 

Have you noticed that Facebook now asks you if you'd like to tag people in photos that you have nothing to do with? Well, I've been doing it!!! The other day my sister Anna posted a photo (a 'mobile upload') of her at our friend Jody's bachelorette weekend. Even though I am thousands of miles away, Facebook encouraged me to tag them in the photo. And tag I did. 

Since, unlike Anna and Jody, most people on my Facebook are people I have only met a couple times but have long since forgotten, I find this new feature incredibly upsetting. I really have trouble resisting the urge to tag people I barely know. As I scroll through my newsfeed, Facebook's screaming at me 'Would you like to tag her?', 'Would you like to tag him?' - and I feel compelled to do it! But will Facebook then tell the person that I, Margaret Kay, was the tagger? 

I am fairly confident that those last two paragraphs made no sense. But holla if you feel me. 

Love,

Margaret

Pod-a-Doodle-Doo Episode 6 - Welcome to the world, Hashtag Jameson!

Howdy!

Please enjoy the latest installment of Pod-a-Doodle-Doo, the podcast everyone's been raving about.

In this episode you'll learn the origin of Andy's 'Good Morning' greeting, and get our take on the newborn baby named Hashtag. We also discuss our favourite ever Christmas presents - mine was a horse head stick (or as Andy corrected me, a 'hobby horse'. The English are just so good at knowing the words for things!!).

And the answer to last week's trivia? Yep, we reveal that too.

So, what's stopping you? Grab a cup of tea, kick back and open those ears up wide (ew). Enjoy!




Love,
Margaret

Who do you think you are?

I have figured "people" out. I know that is a very general statement, but it's true.

People (you know who you are) seek IDENTITY. They want to know who they are. They want their friends to tell them.

I realized this human-wide characteristic after I had to consult Facebook when someone asked me what my favorite movie was. It made me think- who AM I??It also made me think about the times I've asked my friends "How would you describe me to a stranger?" or "Do people know me as the girl who always wears shirts and sweatshirts with wildlife scenery on them?" or "What would you say my 'look' is? Native-American-chic?"

At Gonzaga I belonged to the elite group in which you could be called "bagel girl", which I took much pride in.

More evidence of this fascinating theory:

People are always defining themselves by what they're not. This is exemplified by Barbie Solbakken's famous words, "I'm just not a thai-food kind of girl" (It turned out she was a thai-food kind of girl, she just didn't know it yet).

When someone is particularly desperate for an identity they decide not to like amazing, wonderful, objectively good things like chocolate, Summer and LOST. I feel sorry for them.

When you're not quite sure who you are, it's common to consult your "roots". This might make you a Washingtonian, a Catholic, a Democrat, a Vegetarian or any other group society so conveniently places you in. Who am I? Ahhh, now I remember- I am a Catholic Democrat, a proud resident of Washington State and I do NOT eat meat. Sigh of relief. My identity has been found!

(By the way, I am clearly not talking about myself there. I am a pescatarian, after all)

BUT I am forever an Arrowhead Hawk, Kenmore Colt, Inglemoor Viking, and Gonzaga Bulldog.

When the father of my cousin's first college roommate introduced himself to my aunt and told her "I'm a pilot" she responded with "You're a pilot? So am I!" Of course, my aunt was talking about being a University of Portland Pilot while the man was talking about the other, lesser known, meaning of "pilot"- the one that means flyer of commercial aircraft. Though my cousin was mortified, each pilot was surely more secure in their identity.

So, if you ever want to make someone's day and secure their friendship at least temporarily, tell them who they are. Describe to them a defining characteristic that sets them apart from the crowd. They'll love it and they'll love you for it!

Don't believe me? Check out my Facebook page and see how many friends I have.

LOVE (it's almost Valentine's day),

Margaret

Editors Note: The above screen shot of a Facebook Interests section is not my Facebook page....simply a product of google image search.