Martha the matriarch

To say my grandma is a great conversationalist would be the understatement of the century. She is to words what the ocean is to plankton, the sky is to stars, a competitive eater is to hotdogs—filled to the brim.

Today's anecdotes included:

• How her mother used to send her food in the mail. She once sent an entire pork roast by USPS.

• How she was BFFs with a married Democrat atheist man. They would go clothes shopping together for his wife. He was also an avid weaver. "I think he was probably part gay," she says. 'Part gay' is my new fave phrase. Like being 'part Japanese' or something. 

• How taking hot baths was her only escape from her kids, and even then, they would pass her notes through the crack between the floor and the door. 

A photograph of a photograph, taken with my web cam.
Look closely and you can see my laptop reflected in the glass!

She also says that the keys to a happy marriage are kindness and forgiveness.

I feel like Andy and I are in a constant state of silent, preemptive forgiveness—it's the only way two people this annoying can live happily together. 

But kindness? Are we kind? We're somewhat kind. But he could definitely give me more back massages and I could stop making fun of his far apart eyes. There's room for improvement. 

I'm TIRED. Up at 5:30am this morning. Took the first water taxi across to Seattle this morning. Sat on the top deck with a view of the skyline, all lit-up in the still-dark sky. Truly brilliant. Then a bunch of doofus seals had to ruin it by arfing loudly from their perch on a nearby buoy. But what can ya do? Seals gonna arf. 

LOVE, 

Margaret