Merry Christmas!

It's the best holiday around. Ab-so-lutely, HANDS DOWN, no argument there. 

The snow/cold/ice is all people around here can talk about and I'm a little tired of it, so I'll just say that due to weather conditions, this year's Christmas Eve was low-key- no ferry ride, no neighborhood walk, no mass (yikes!). BUT it was FANTASTIC nonetheless. 

Bobby flew into town after barely making his connecting flight in Houston (he had to cut in front of about 200 people to get through customs) and it's always great to have him in K-town for Christmas. We all (minus Max&Anne who're in San Antonio and Anna&Alex who are joining us tomorrow morning) sat around the living room, chatting and each opening one gift. As usual, my Mom tried to convince us to open more but we resisted. It's only the EVE after all. Next, in strict accordance to Kay Fam tradition, my Dad read The Berenstain Bears Christmas Tree aloud. Straying a bit from tradition, we then gathered downstairs to watch the Top Chef Holiday Special. Usually it's the Muppet's Christmas Carol, but it's good to switch things up every now and then. 

Here are some of my favorite pictures from around the world this Christmas season:

Visitors look at a 25 feet (950 centimeters) high Santa Claus sand sculpture created by Sudarshan Pattnaik at a beach in Puri, about 65 kilometers (40 miles) away from Bhubaneswar, India, Wednesday, Dec. 24, 2008. AP/Biswaranjan Rout

Runners, dressed as Santa Claus, are seen prior a "Santa Claus Run" in Hamburg, Germany, on Sunday, Dec. 14. More than 2,000 runners took part at the charity run. AP / Fabian Bimmer

A zoo worker dressed up as Santa Claus rides an ostrich at a zoo in Wuhan, central China's Hubei province, Sunday, Dec. 14. AP Photo

Danny Nichols, breaks into tears at the thought of sitting on Santa's lap during a visit to Penn Square Mall in Oklahoma City, Dec. 12. The Oklahoman / Jim Beckel

The 22 meter high statue, Hammering Man, dressed in Santa Claus outfits, stands over a street, to celebrate a Christmas in Seoul, Wednesday, Dec. 24, 2008. The statue was made by U.S. artist Jonathan Borofsky of Boston, Massachusetts. Christmas is one of the biggest holidays to celebrate in South Korea. AP/ Lee Jin-man

Hmmm....that hammering man looks A LOT like the guy in downtown Seattle. So much for one-of-a-kind art!! 

Ok, gotta nestle in my bed- the sugar plum dreams await me.

LOVVVVVVE,

Margaret

Present Politics...

You're lying if you don't think "presents" are the best part of Christmas. 

Ok, I know that sounds materialistic and shallow, but gift giving and the thoughtfulness that goes into it is what Christmas is all about. Duh, it isn't about what you get or how much was spent but the love/caring represented by the gesture. 

This is why I HATE it when people set price limits on gifts, freak out about whether their gift is less expensive than the one the person is giving them, give gifts out of obligation, make Christmas lists so that everyone gets something they "really want"- UGHHHHH. STOP IT! That makes the whole tradition of gift-giving seem so formulaic and dull. 

I could go on and on about this, but ya get my point. Presents are great, but all the stupid politics that go along with them are ridiculous. 

Now bring me some figgy pudding, 

Madge

Things I Like That Are Purple...

Lupines

My purple sparkly clutch wallet from Target

This book

The purple eye liner and eye shadow for people with brown eyes by Almay

Purple Laffy Taffy ropes

Purple (some people call the "red") grapes

Sorry I haven't been blogging. I have a few excuses but none are really good enough. 

I am back in K-town- home for the holidays. I still have some papers to write for Friday, but I'll just whip 'em out Thursday night. 

Where is my camera battery charger?

Madge

WEIRD

I am now going to take a long bath, read my book, eat from my girnormous bag of dirty carrots and try to erase the image of those walking, talking tongues from my mind.

Drink water,

madge

Bloggers Block

Sorry folks- I got nothin'.

I'll write a good one tonight, 

Madge

When the dog bites. When the bee stings. When I'm feeling sad...

...I simply look at this picture and then I don't feeeeeeeeeel sooooooooo baaaaaaaaaaad!

Feel free to glance at it whenever you're hit with a wave of low self-esteem- it really does the trick.

You're welcome, 

Madge

What's the world coming to?

Please tell me I'm not the only who's noticed that the phrase "I know- right?" has invaded the everyday American vernacular recently? Like a non-indigenous species of english ivy, these insanely annoying three words are creeping into classrooms, households and bagel shops across the countryside, winding their way into the vocabulary of even the least likely of characters. 

Today I was dumbfounded to hear one dude on a longboard say it to another dude on a longboard! Their conversation went something like this: 

Dude #1: Brah, I totally got a 95% on that test. 

Dude #2: Man, that's so good.

Dude #1: I know- right? I totally didn't see that coming.

Dude #2: Pretty sweet, dude. Alright, talk to ya later.

Enough is enough!

Don't even get me started on the American auto companies!

One positive bit of news to come out of today's cruel, confusing world is that Mother's Circus Animal Cookies are not going away after all! If you were shocked and saddened by the announcement that Mother's had shut down, dry your eyes- these delicious pink and white morsels live on! Kellogg has bought all their recipes and will reintroduce them into a grocery store near you soon. 

YUM. I know- right? 

-Madge

Smile!

The Chicago Tribune has compiled some of the funniest "Scared of Santa" photos on their website. Here are some of them:

I wish I had access to some of the Kay Family Christmas card photos because they would be equally hilarious and much more frightening than all these creepy, fake-bearded Santas. 

Ugh, one year we all posed in Max's ginormous white Buick. Someone was actually planted on the roof of the car... striking some Barbizon poze....turned on their side, knees bent and chin resting firmly on their fist. My Dad was at the wheel, elbow out the window as if he was cruising down the street on a hot summer day. The rest of us where packed into the back or leaning awkwardly against the hood and the trunk. OH WOW, it was horrible. Perhaps I will dig it out when I go home, scan it and upload it for your viewing pleasure. 

I lied- we don't have a scanner at home, 

Madge

There's only two types of people in the world...

...the ones that blog and the ones that do stuff with their lives.

I just purchased Britney Spears' "Circus" on iTunes. It's fab. I now have 12 whole songs on my iTunes!!! I know, I know, there are programs I can download that will let me transfer all my iPod songs to my iTunes and BLAH BLAH BLAH- it's all so stressful and I promise I'll get to it eventually but for some reason I just have a mental block against the whole iTunes/iPod song-getting and storing process. I'm sweatin' just thinkin about it. And every time iTunes asks me to update it I go back and forth for 5 minutes AGONIZING over the decision. What if it erases my songs (all 12 of them)!??!?! Why am I like this?? I've never been tragically screwed over by iTunes or anything...maybe I've just heard other people's horror stories. 

I made the mistake of eating a pomagranate while I sat on lamby (my lambskin rug. infamous freshman year Costco impulse buy) watched 30Rock on my WHITE macbook. Fuschia pom juice splattered across the keys and I since I didn't have a napkin available and I was too lazy to lean forward I had to wipe it off with my toes. Now my toes are sticky. 

Martha and I walked downtown today to get a dark chocolate bar. She just informed me that MUFAs are an important part of a healthy diet (especially if you want a flat stomach). They are Monounsaturated Fatty Acids and they lower total cholesterol and LDL cholesterol (the bad cholesterol) while increasing HDL cholesterol (the good cholesterol). Nuts, dark chocolate, avocados, and olive oil are high in MUFAs. MUFAs have been found to help in weight loss, particularly body fat. 

So we chowed down on a Moonstruck dark chocolate bar. Moonstruck is a chocolate company based out of Portland and Martha actually knows the family that started it. It was also mentioned in O magazine as one of her favorite treats! Yummmm.

It's only 7:26 pm! I have over two hours until the new episode of "Real Housewives of Orange County". Killing time- it's all I do lately. Maybe I will buy another song on iTunes and belly dance to it in front of my mirror. Belly dancing is a natural skill I was born with and I always feel good, like it's worked out my abs, after I do it. That will kill about 15 minutes. Then maybe I will wikipedia stuff that I've been curious about- like hemispherectomies, alopecia and Switzerland.

Until next time, 

Madge

From WALL to WALL

So my new favorite activity this past month has been reading through various facebook "wall-to-walls" between my me and my friends. For those of you over the age of 30 who are not familiar with "wall-to-walls" it is a feature on facebook that allows you to read everything you and a particular friend have written on each other's facebook pages over the years. 

Here are some of my favorite excerpts:

CONNIE/ME wall-to-wall:

Connie Gledhill (Willamette) wrote
at 10:05am on April 28th, 2006
ha.
i saw this squirrel running around today.. with either someone's sock or underwear in it's mouth.. i'm thinkin underwear tho.
it kept trying to stuff as much of it as possible in.
just thought you should know

Margaret Kay wrote
at 11:49am on April 28th, 2006
interesting because a couple weeks ago we threw some of my gross grandma underwear on the roof of our dorm...it is now not there....was the underwear gray?

Connie Gledhill (Willamette) wrote
at 2:35pm on April 29th, 2006
no. it was just white. ha

Connie Gledhill (Willamette) wrote
at 1:52pm on May 1st, 2007
hardy har. now it's your turn. tell me something funny

Margaret Kay wrote

at 3:21pm on May 1st, 2007
ok, here i go...

so i had this quiet asian friend in highschool and she was banned from riding northshore buses after sending out a mass email threatening to kill our bus driver. HAHAHa

oh wait...that was you...this, is, awkward.

well, here's another funny story. Today a girl came into the bagel shop and ordered a garlic bagel- but the kicker is....she pronounced it "garLACK"....hahaha, like lilac flowers....garlac....what a FREAK

TORI/ME wall-to-wall:

Margaret Kay wrote

at 12:06pm on January 17th, 2007
i'm decently tan, yes. what's your new years res? Mine is to stop picking my nose (cuz it stretches out my nostrils!) and Barbie's is to makeout with more boys.

Tori Mueller (Washington) wrote
at 12:17pm on January 17th, 2007
mine is to party more and to try and make steps in the direction of becoming a vegetarian. mostly its to party more though. im really bored right now in the law library. usually when this happens i watch the oc on youtube but dare i say that im not in an oc mood. i need to get a job, any suggestions? do you pick your nose often as is? i've never nosticed your large nostrils, now it will probably be all that i look at when i see you.

Margaret Kay wrote
at 12:42pm on January 17th, 2007
try to work at a movie theater so you can work with nerdy highschool kids and eat popcorn all day. in all honesty, i would suggest working in food service rather than retail, i've heard it's the lesser of two evils. i find my nostrils horribly large and i blame 20% of it on genetics and 80% on myself, an avid nosepicker (can't believe you haven't noticed). Sometimes when I'm unable to fall asleep at night I cup my nose and squish my nostrils together to reshape them. But I think the damgage is permanent.

Tori Mueller (Washington) wrote
at 12:57pm on January 17th, 2007
interesting, my sister and i both think our noses point up a little to much so we sometimes tape them down for a couple hours, ie the duration of watching a movie or something. i think you have gorgeous nostrils though. but i see where you are coming from (i do tape my nose down for gosh's sake!) this little comment box really does wonders for speeding things up here on facebook. have you ever gotten a massage? i bet its the best thing in the world.

OK, so I know people tend to zone out and loose focus when they see a really long post with big blocks of text, so I am going to hold off on any more wall-to-wall snippets for now. BUT do expect there this to be a reoccurring feature on my blog because I really just skimmed the vast surface of good material that's out there. Perhaps you will see me and YOUR wall-to-wall on here some day. Wouldn't that be a thrill for you!?! Ya betcha. So staaaaaaaaay tuned! 

Love, 

Madge

GOOD GOD!

....I rediscovered that video today when I was reading me and Connie's "wall-to-wall" on facebook. I posted it on her wall some time Sophomore year and I had since forgotten all about it. 

nightynight, 

madge

Go Blog Go

T-Giving came and went like an episode of Supermarket Sweep- exciting, frenzied, food-related, chaotic, and leaving me wanting MORE! Lucky for me- I will get more because Christmas is just around the corner. So it ain't over yet. YAY! Two of my favorite holidays back to back. Gotta love the holiday season!

I want to try out a sunless tanning product. I don't know which one to use and I am nervous about it. The main reason I want to try it out (actually, it's the main reason why I do anything at all.....why I wake up in the morning) is so I can blog about it. Wouldn't that be great? I could do before&after pictures. It has the makings to be an epic post. 

One time in elementary school I was talking with this free-spirited girl who had hippie parents about being buried or something about burial (weird...I wonder why we were discussing it at all actually. But it's irrelevant to my point) and she said "Oh, I plan to donate my body to science when I die." 

I was BAFFLED. 

The nonchalant way she said it- "donate my body to science"- just like that...it haunted my thoughts for quite some time. I pictured a creepy man in white lab coat ripping one of her arms out of its socket and studying it carefully with a microscope....another one would pluck out her eyeballs with giant tweezers and toss them into a beaker causing it to bubble and splurt green fizz. 

Now, of course, I understand what she meant and I find it a perfectly reasonable solution to corpse disposal. ANYHOO, I am willing to sacrifice my epidermis to sunless tanning research so the next time I am at the store I will buy one. 

 

MOVING ON, This article in businessweek lists the worst jobs with the best pay...here they are:

Gastroenterologist- Average pay: $269,500 HA! I went to one of these back when I was having my constipation problems (see archive). 

Podiatrist- Average pay: $125,663 Barbie just went to one of these to try to fix her flat foot/short leg.

Private Security Contractor in Iraq- Average Pay: $120,000 Sounds scary.

IT Worker- Average pay: $103,400 Don't know what this really means.
Crop Duster Pilot- Average pay: $53,870 I guess this is dangerous because of the pesticides. 
Crime-Scene Cleaner- Average pay: $50,400 You'd have to pay me a lot more....

Roughneck- Average pay: $46,867 What's a roughneck?????????????
Toll Collector- Average pay: $45,000 Harhar, I thought this said "troll" collector. Now THAT would be a bad job (unless you're Hagrid or someone else who's well versed on the creatures of the forbidden forest).

Long-Haul Trucker- Average pay: $43,200 What about an ICE ROAD trucker???
Embalmer- Average pay: $42,400 EW.
Sewer Inspector- Average pay: $34,960 STINKY! (my friend Liz hates that word)
Crab Fisherman- Average pay: $29,000 Deadliest Catch, holler!

I think I'm going to take a nap, 

Madge

P.S. I don't like having to capitalized the "I" in "I'm"- it bugs me

Happy T-Giving Eve! Get Baking!

Weird, I'm about to watch "The View" LIVE this morning- as in, not just selected YouTube clips the following afternoon. It's bizarre actually watching them pretend to be friends during the first 3-4 minutes. 

Ahhh, this is the life. Eating my oatmeal, drinking my Twinnings loose leaf English breakfast tea (wish it was Tetely or Lyons...but it'll do) and flexing my toes back and forth, back and forth, listening to the sound of the crack reverberating off the kumquat walls in our family room. I can crack my toes endlessly- they will NEVER not crack. It's one of my few unique talents. 

OH WEIRD, Drew Carey is hosting "The Price Is Right". I mean, I knew about this but STILL.

To Do:

-Bake a key lime pie

-Exercise (bike to the Woodinville Barns&Noble to get a treat at their starbucks w/ my B&N gift card??)

-Put up more Christmas Decorations

-Take a shower (meh...MAYbe)

Speaking of pie baking....I really like that movie "Waitress" with Keri Russell. She bakes pies according to her mood. For example, if she were me right now she'd bake a "Loves-The-Sound-Of-Toes-Cracking-In-The-Morning-Pie". 

 

I bought a turtleneck sweater yesterday! Barbie Solbakken is probably rolling over in her grave and thinking "I told ya so!"

What are you thankful for, 

Madge

Ok, wow...Blogging AGAIN

Ok, I'm a 22 year old woman- WHY do I still cringe and blush every time I watch people approach their crush on "MADE" ??? I'm watching it right now (Oprah's over) and this nerdy girl's MADE-coach just forced to her ask a cute skater boy out on a "skate date". 

OMG, it was too much! I squinted my eyes and cranked up the David Archuleta on my itunes. I just couldn't bear to listen to it...

He was nice, and said yes and they went to the skate park and it's all ok. Sigh of relief. I don't know why I freaked out but it was just so AWK.

The picture below is a reenactment of me watching it all go down. It kind of just looks like I'm smelling a fart, but you get the idea. 

 

I'm so empathetic (emphasis on the "pathetic"), 

Madge

Oprah's Gonna Talk About Her Weight Gain

I'm watching her show right now (Dr. Oz is on.. SURPRISE SURPRISE) and they just showed a preview for her "Best Life Week"  where she talks about the "big brown elephant in the room" (her words not mine). But I thought she already did this...thyroid problem, right? Is she explaining it again? Or is it just a rerun? Who knows. Good excuse to post some Oprah-through-the-years pics. 

Look at me blogging twice in one day, 

Madge

Oil Changes Are Scarier Than Edward Cullen

GREETINGS.

I'm about to go get the oil changed in the Volvo. It's always a horrible experience. Sitting in the waiting area at Jiffy Lube...pretending to read a car magazine, staring at the coffee pot and craving its stale, watery coffee but being too nervous to actually get some for fear that it costs money (which is rediculous, I know it doesn't) and dreading the moment when some guy leads me outside to a "computer" that wisely determines that the Volvo needs wiper blades. I tell them "not today" because "my mom" told me just to get the oil, but I know they are mad that I haven't listened to the computer. I've disrespected its authority and their commission will suffer because of it. 

Ok, so I saw Twilight last night with Tori. I feel that with all its hype, it deserves a Madgespace review:

INSANELY HORRIBLE and AMAZING. A must-see. Awful awful awful. But very very good. 

Bella: 

SPIT IT OUT! Just think about what you're trying to say and then say it. It's called "talking" and it should not be that difficult. 

Edward:

Beautiful. Perfect. The bad acting and bad american accent really adds to his vampireness. It works for him. He carries the movie. Without him, it would really just be an extended episode of Charmed...with a little Wishbone mixed in. Who knew someone so creepy could be so attractive? He makes breaking into someone's house to watch them sleep seem CUTE.

It's ok to HATE, LOVE, LAUGH AT, CRY AT, MAKE FUN OF, and DEFEND this movie all at the same time. 

It's wonderful. Full of wonder. Wonder in the sense of mysterious awe and wonder in the sense of WTF?!!!!?!

Hold on tight spidermonkey, 

Madge

P.S. I am making key lime pie tomorrow. 

Let There Be Lights!

HOLLERRRR. Well, in case you were wondering- Kathy was hilarious. We were up in the nosebleeds of the Paramount (who knew it went up so high??) and had to squint to see her, but it was definitely worth the future crowsfeet. 

Today my Dad and I are going to put up the outside Christmas lights. We may be jumping the gun a little, but it will be nice to come home from T-Giving and have the decor dunzo. For inspiration, I've google image searched the best light displays anyone ever uploaded to the internet. Hopefully our's will rival  some of the following- we'll see. 

Ahh, I've been indulging in the usual comforts of home (plus a few new ones...a new fridge, new carpet, loose leaf tea...). Today I MUST go on a run. It's been a while since I've broken a sweat...well besides yesterday when I overheated in Max & Anne's house because their heat was on and I had a hat on and a hooded sweatshirt...just too many layers in general. BUT the point is, I haven't exercised in eons, so I HAVE TO run today. Now that I've blogged about it there is no turning back. Ugggh.

Oh- I saw the new Bond movie yesterday. It was good. 

Best, 

Margaret

Two things:

I'm going to see KATHY GRIFFIN tonight!!! I've been a big fan of hers for a while now and it will be insane seeing her in the flesh. Who will she be gossiping about now? SO EXCITED!

Secondly, I realized this morning that I often don't know if I have said something or just thought it. Like, I don't know if I have said "go ahead and sign the top copy" to a bagel customer who's signing their receipt or if I have merely THOUGHT it in my head. Even worse- when I am walking this blurry line between saying and thinking, I will often KIND OF say something but mainly just let out a low, throaty breath noise....its weird, I know. I don't think people can hear me when I make this noise, but who knows, maybe they do.......it worries me. This actually is so weird and I cannot describe it in words over my blog. Especially because I have to be in class in ten minutes I can't think of the proper way to explain it under those time constraints. I'll try again later. 

possibly audible breath-grunt, 

madge

Knorks, Forks and Stedman?- is that you?!?!

A couple weeks ago Anna sent me the link to the knork website. Just as the spork represents a combination of a spoon and a fork, the knork is a knife/fork collaboration. I want one. Especially since I haven't used a knife since the late 90s (When I stopped eating meat. Also when I realized I could just spread butter on toast with my finger)- nope, I only need a fork, turned on its side and wiggled back and forth vigorously until the food is adequately separated into bite-sized pieces. In Europe, the knork may not sell well. Those euros approach their plate as if they were knitting a sweater- with a knife in the left hand and a fork in the right. Us Americans, though, often neglect the knife completely. It is more of a place-setting decoration, simply there to complete the "plate/knife/fork/spoon/napkin" image but remaining untouched until it is loaded into the dishwasher, clean and unused. 

The reason I was reminded of the knork in the first place is because I am reading "Twilight" which takes place in Forks, Washington. I cannot get over how insane it is that Forks is the setting of these (FANTASTIC) books. It's definitely exciting to see Washington State get some much needed publicity, but it's even more exciting because of my personal connection with Forks. Here goes it: So, in eighth grade my friend Dana wanted to make her ex-boyfriend jealous. We invented a new, fake, shawn-from-Boy-Meets-World-lookalike, boyfriend for her to be in a long-distance relationship with. We made him a blog (or "online diaries" as they were then called) at diary-x.com (which may have even pre-dated "live journal"). After deciding on his hobbies, interests, appearance and car, we picked a location- FORKS, WA!!! His website was titled "stuckinforks.diary-x.com". If diary-x.com was still around I could totally sell that domain name for millions!!!! 

When I was working out today I saw Stedman (Oprah's bf) on CNN with the caption "Attorney General?" underneath him. I thought to myself, "NO WAY! Obama is picking Stedman Graham as his attorney general!?!?!". But then I saw that it wasn't Stedman, but a man named Eric Holder who just happens to look exactly like him. 

I'm almost done with Twilight. It's exciting to be enveloped in a teen book series phenomenon again. Reminds me of my youth. 

Vampires, 

Madge

Loves it!!!!!!!!

I've always thought these things were cool...

The bank drive-thru suction container...

Brain Quests...

Scratch and sniff stickers...

Waffle makers...

Snap bracelets...

Wonderbread sandwich container...

Mini spray fan...

M&M dispenser...

Handheld egg beater

Jello jigglers egg mold...

goodnight, 

Madge