Joy! Joy! Joy!

Shut up. I don't want to hear it. I'm not a blog factory here people. Be thankful for what you get.

Ok, I'm sorry. SORRRRYYY. Forgive me. I'm been.....................eh, busy? 

"Joy, Joy, Joy" was the name of a song on a children's music cassette tape that me and the sibs went absolutely APE for.  It wasn't the "single" track (that was titled "Backward's Land"), but it was pretty dern good for a b-side. 

When I have kids they are listening to children's music and only children's music until they're at least 9. AND NOT the "Kids Bop" remakes of top40 songs. No way. I'm talkin Raffi, Backwards Land, and some more Raffi. I'm not sure why I feel so strongly about this, but I think it's because it was how I was raised and I obviously turned out wonderfully. 

I thought "JOY" would be a good topic for today's post because I experienced it multiple times today. After I was finished with aerobics, after I was finished with yoga, and while I kneaded homemade pizza dough (it's rising now...oooohweee!). 

Did you have any moments today where you felt joyful?

Also, the word "JOY" popped into my head because Barbie tried to use it as a verb (JOYING) when we were playing Scategories the other day. Her explanation: "Ya know, when you're wiping things down in the kitchen with Joy dish-soap...you're in the act of "joying." I can't remember what the category was, but needless to say, "joying" got a big thumbs down from everyone.

Hmm...which Joy label/bottle do you prefer?

I left my rolling pin in Pullman a year or so ago, so I think I'm going to have to roll out the dough with a mug or something.....or can I just throw it in the air pizzaria-style? I think that will work as long as I exclaim "Mamma Mia!!! A-pepperoni-pizzzzza!!" in a thick Italian accent while I toss it. 

Love y'alls, 

Madgey

Fact or Fiction?

It's time to settle things once and for all. To confirm what's truth and what's just an old wives tale. I've discovered snopes.com, which verifies or refutes almost every myth you've ever heard. I've determined it's a credible enough site for Madgespace because it was the first site to pop up on google and it just looks somewhat professionally done.

CLAIMS:

Shaved hair grows back darker and/or thicker

If you try to sneeze with your eyes open, they will pop out

It takes seven years for swallowed gum to pass through the digestive system

Coca-cola used to contain cocaine

ANSWERS:

false (nope. I know people think this is just a myth but I would beg them to come look at my toes and belly button. I mistakenly shaved both areas ONE TIME and ever since it's a sea of heinous, corse black hair. Confirming this phenomenon as a "myth" is just another myth itself! oh woe is me.)

false (ow. ow ow ow OUCH. I don't care if this is true or false because to attempt it would be PAINFUL)

false (though with my current condition I doubt it'd make its way out at all!!)

true, and it wasn't cocaine-free until 1929! (doesn't surprise me...just a bit further back in the day they used to drill holes in peoples' heads to relieve headaches. times were different)

There ya have it! Hope that clears things up. 

Dark chocolate is now officially tied with back massages as the BEST THING EVAARRRR, 

Madge

Guten Tag

Today was about as perfect as a non-cyprus, freezing cold, have-to-go-to-school, spokane weekday can get. 

I didn't have to work so I was able to watch the inauguration this morning. I set my alarm for 7, got out of bed slowly and wandered down to the kitchen to make a cup of tea and some oatmeal. I used the extra boiling water from the kettle for my hot water bottle, which I held onto in one hand at the very tip top so it wouldn't burn me. In the other hand I held my mug of tea and my mug of oatmeal (I only eat out of bowls and mugs. Never plates- they don't keep food hot enough and they increase the likelihood of horrendous utensil scraping noises). Then I bundled up in a couple of fleece blankets in Barbie's bed (she was at the bagel shop working and I don't have a TV in my room), stretched my legs out, cracked my toes and relished in the relaxation of continuous news broadcasting. 

Next time I am feeling stressed, I should turn on CNN and zone out as the reporters earn their living by beating a dead horse, describing it in historic terms, rephrasing it for those just tuning in, holding a panel discussion on it, and airing replays of it over and over and over. There's something so soothing about 24 hour news channels. 

Obama's speech was good. Michelle's dress was classy. The kids were super cute. And the crowd was miraculous. So so so many people, all gathered in the cold to see the fruits of their vote and share in such instant change- from Bush to Obama. You couldn't find a better example of change than that. 

After the speech and about another hour of dead-horse-beating by the news anchors, my stomach had a warm, red splotch from the hot water bottle and my legs were falling asleep so I figured I'd better get up and move around. Clare and I went to our aerobics and yoga classes. Then Martha and I went to "do hood rat stuff", which was difficult because of the cold and turned into buying tea at Tesoro, chit-chatting with Isabel at her house and wandering the aisles of Safeway. 

And the best is yet to come! The Real Housewives of Orange County starts in ten minutes!!

May the force be with you, 

Madge

Welcome Home!

Here is a picture of the main entrance into the White House...the new home of Barack, Michelle, Sasha and Malia Obama. 

I am sitting in Barbie's bed upstairs, eating walnuts, drinking tea, swaddled in blankets with a hot water bottle resting on my gut and watching our new president get sworn into office. It really is incredible and exciting.

 

Hope/Change/OBAMA, 

Madge

Breaking the Law of Attraction

Did you notice I changed the quote in the header? I'm going to switch the quote around every so often just you keep you on your toes.

I asked my friends the other day, "Who do you think is unconventionally attractive (it can be a celeb if you can't think of a 'real' person)?" And by "unconventional" I simply mean they are not obviously attractive- they aren't known for their good looks.

Barbie's answer: -you guessed it- Uncle Joey Gladstone.

Isabel's answer: Anthony Bourdain from the Travel Channel show "No Reservations"

I didn't ask Martha, but she often strays from the norms of conventional beauty when seeking a celeb crush. Her stipulations include, big nose, pale skin, scrawny physique.... basically, she prefers the "weak and sickly" look. Believe it or not, this look can actually work for some people. Michael Cera, for example.

Who do you find unconventionally attractive?

I can't think of anyone right now. It's not that there aren't a lot of weirdly cute people out there...but off the top of my head none are coming to mind. This could be because I am distracted by the INSANELY loud conversation the people next to me are having. I am in a study area/coffee/hangout place on campus where I come to blog, eavesdrop, and read the latest New Yorker mag. Pretty soon I am going to head to aerobics and yoga with Clare. Hopefully the classes are challenging enough and not too crowded. And hopefully I don't fart. 

The Real Housewives of Orange County is on tonight. I think this has been the best season so far because the two new housewives are NOT meshing well with the preexisting housewives. I've been watching this show since season 1, so I feel like I know them all. It's great.

Ta, 

Madge

"I'm that star up in the sky, I'm that mountain peak up high, hey I made it, I'm the world's greatest..."

First of all, I got accepted to University of Edinburgh for grad school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YESSSSS!

This is where I will be attending classes- the School of Divinity (haha!).

Second of all, why do they always make Beyonce look so weird on magazine covers? I mean, who is this? Not Beyonce, that's for sho. 

Third of all (by the way does anyone know if "third of all" is actually a figure of speech? I use it a lot but it never sounds right), I took a fill-in-the-map geography test of the US and the Middle East and I was far more successful at naming middle eastern countries than states right here in my homeland! Things just get so confusing once you're east of Wyoming....with all the Virginias and Carolinas lyin around. 

Fourth of all (ok, I know that one doesn't work), I've compiled a list of the greatest songs of all time. I know that's quite bold of me, but I dare you to argue with the following selection:

* Do you know (Enrique Iglesias)

*Oh Holy Night (Anonymous)

*The Power of Love (Celine Dion AND AND AND- get this -Huey Lewis and the News)

*Wagon Wheel (Old Crow Medicine Show)

*World of Our Own (Westlife)

*White Girl (E-40)

*Heads Carolina, Tails California (Jodee Messina)

*Boys of Summer (Don Henley)- Martha's pick...but I agree

*Let it Be (The Beatles)

*Surf Wax America (Weezer)

*Too Little Too Late (JoJo)

*All or Nothing (O-Town)

*At Last (Etta James)

What songs would you add to the list?? 

Tonight we are going over to Sarah's and Carrie's house to watch The Bachelor. The original plan was to dress up in formal, floor length gowns, sip champagne and watch it in the company of a beautiful platter of red, long-stem roses...but that didn't pan out. We should really save such efforts for the season finale anyway. 

I've been filling up on sunflower seeds lately, 

Madge

mean. MEDIAN!!! mode?

Here's my morning:

Woke up with a mean head AND stomach ache.

Drove onto the bright yellow median on Bothell Way.

Lost my mode of transportation- and $600.

On average, my day (pre 9 AM) SUCKED.

HOWEVER I bused it to a naturopath who was really really nice, listened to my digestion sob story and was genuinely understanding. She gave me some helpful detox plans and supplements- so I have hope!

Top Chef tonight!!!!!!

Sipping on a lovely cran/lemon/apple cider vinegar cocktail, 

Madge

Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?

A while back I asked you, my dear readers, for blog topic suggestions. The only one of you who participated was Tori, who suggested I discuss the "half up/half down" hairstyle. After the overwhelming success of that post, I've decided to take Tori's advice yet again. She texted me a couple months ago asking for a COPS themed post. Here goes it:

Premiering on Fox in 1989, COPS is one of the longest running TV programs in the United States. It has been nominated for four emmys!!

Here are some viewer comments left on the COPS imdb page:

Matt writes:

 24 November 2001
Believe none of those COPS-bashing reviews from the people you'll find on this site who don't even know what real entertainment is. I think COPS is the greatest show and the best comedy ever! You watch it and you always find two or three people on it who are worse off than yourself. You ask yourself, "My god! How could someone be so stupid and devious!?" and you feel so smart and law-abiding! And the best part is that the bad guys always get caught! You can't run from the long arm of COPS! I recommend my favorite show (COPS) to anyone I meet. Really. Besides being an awesomely ground-breaking, reality-based program, it sets a good example for your kids. Let them watch it with you. Cheers! -Matt 

Michael writes: 

June 28, 2008

But of course my favorite thing about the show is that so many of the incidents shown are so hilarious, intentionally or not. I remember one particular episode where they chased a guy down who was driving erratically, and then he jumps out of his car and runs on foot. The police chase him into the woods and finally tackle him, and on the way back to the police cars they start asking him some questions."Have you been drinking tonight?" one of the cops asks. "No no no," the guy says. "I haven't been drinking tonight, officer, all I had was a 12-pack and a bottle of Southern Comfort..."

Brightfamouscucumber writes:

October 6, 2005

This is a dangerously biased show. It is a show depicting that COPS can do no wrong. It's edited to appear to be some sort of "good versus evil", but it is not. It is nothing short of evil vs. evil, and sometimes its the perp who's more evil, and other times it's the badge-bearer. But it's always the badge-bearer whose opinions get final input on each and every segment, and usually a very rude bash of the people they were hired to protect and serve. It is sick and it it is twisted, and it is in a time spot known to be predominantly viewed by adolescents. On a scale of one-to-ten for entertainment value, I would quite honestly and with great justification give it a negative ninety-nine. The worst nightly news show in a third-world country would receive a greater rating from me than this atrocious filth.

Well, there appears to be some differences of opinion out there about COPS. Your thoughts?

Yours truly, 

Madge

New Year w/ Old friends (rotund stomach & indigestion)

It is the first day of 2009. WOAH. Here's some perspective for ya: Center Stage came out 9 years ago!! Where does the time go? Anna should be comin' up on her 10 year high school reunion. The King Dome has been gone a decade! Facebook was started 5 years ago and I can't believe I ever lived without it. Also, happy 10th birthday to the Euro (which, despite fallin' a bit, is still worth about $1.40...so don't let its monopoly-ish look fool ya).

I sat around all evening waiting to decide on whether or not to go to a party with Anna and her friends, a party hosted by my high school friends, or a party with Barbie, Meghan and maybe other college friends. I read, napped, took a bath, ate an orange, sat in the living room, applied intense healing hand lotion to my dry hands, watched a bizarre HBO movie with my Mom and Dad called The Girl in the Cafe, and took a couple more baths. My stomach hurt, which is a bummer because I thought my new gluten-free diet was helping. Nay- the thing's still round, hard and angry as ever. I'm just waiting for the day I wake up with an "outie" belly button. Just preparing myself for the inevitable. HOW depressing. 

Anyway...when it came time to get ready and go out I just couldn't do it. 

This morning my Dad told me he "rang in the new year with a snore", and I answered "me too". His excuse- being near seniorcitizenship. My excuse- gas, a distended stomach and one heinously bad mood. 

Last year at this time I was in Edinburgh, wandering along the cobblestone streets, climbing the Sir Walter Scot Monument and watching the circling ice skaters, double decker buses, sale-bound shoppers, and street-corner bag pipers below. Hopefully on Jan 1, 2010 I'll be doing the same. 

My new years resolution: blog more. 

We'll see, 

Madge