Re: Revenge

My Mom once told me, "The only way you'll truly feel better is to get revenge."

I must add, she uttered this brilliant assertion while placing a serrated kitchen knife in my small, 11-year-old hand.

The neighbor told me I couldn't climb "his" tree. Something about liability. I was devestated.

"Go slash his tires," she said.

I didn't do it, but would she have stopped me if I had? One might guess her behavior was just some radical parenting tactic- that she was encouraging bad behavior to test my moral decision-making skills.

Not the case.

She actually thought I should slash the neighbor's tires and relish the sweet, toothsome, taste of revenge.

Though revenge can, and usually does, make a situation worse, at times it is appropriate. Perhaps it is not appropriate in the ethical sense, but simply because it's the only possible source of solace in a particular moment. Such moments are so muddled with emotion that a minor outburst of retaliation is suitable.

Haha. Awww, I want it to be Christmas.

Goodnight,

Madge

I am the fox-wisperer

OMG.

Last night Margot, Laura (Edinburgh friends) and I spontaneously traversed a Scottish hillside seeking adventure and exercise. Just three lively post-grad gals looking to reconnect with nature, ya know? HA. It was also a good opportunity to showcase our hiking-chic look.

Once we reached the top we sat down to enjoy the beaUtiful, twinkly, Edinburgh skyline. Instinctively, I led them in a guided meditation to find their spirit animals. That's just what you do when it's nighttime and you're outdoors and you have exhausted every possible would-you-rather question. Camp was a spirit-animal menagerie this Summer, thanks to Jenny's earthy hypnosis skills. Thus, I felt qualified to assist Margot and Laura in their hunt for their creaturely companion.

In the end, Laura discovered hers to be a short-haired, shiny, chestnut brown mare. Margot's was a fox. Mine, for anyone who cares, is a mountain goat.

Here's where the story becomes blog-worthy.

On the walk back down the ridge, a FOX leaped into the path from behind a bush! AHHHHH!!!

It was black. It had ears. It snarled its teeth at us.

We froze, screamed and desperately tried to move our trembling legs back up the hillside.

Eventually, we made it home in one piece (well, three pieces I suppose), but the nerves have been forever rattled. FOXES. ARE. SCARY.

Love,

Margaret

P.S. I forgot to include the thesis point in all this-- I CAN CONJURE UP FOXES WITH MY MIND.

(From a different night, obviously. But that's Laura on MY right- YOUR left. And Margot's on MY left- YOUR right.)

A-Team: Engaged!

My big sis, Anna, and her long-time steady, Alex, got engaged yesterday!!

They are the best. I am SO thrilled for both of them.

Alex- you're going to be my brother-in-law!

Here's a pic of the ring (so lovely):

LOVE,

Margaret

A tale of two tales...

I saw an anorexic today. I was at the gym on the treadmill when she passed in front of me on her way to the weight room (such irony in that last phrase). Most people with eating disorders simply fall into the "weird about food" category, but it's not often that you actually see an anorexic in the flesh (in the bone??). It's SAD. She feverishly did a set crunches and in the blur of limbs I couldn't tell her legs from her arms!

Oh- I have ANOTHER reason why we should all hate cigarettes. Get this- I was walking home from the grocery store, eating my granola-bar-lunch, dodging people and j-walking to stay on schedule when the most heinous experience of my life occurred. The ASH from a middle-aged woman's cigarette blew onto my granola bar and I ATE IT!!!! She was waiting for the bus and just as I walked by a gust of Edinburgh wind carried the hot piece of charred tobacco up and onto my cranberry oat bar. It all happened so fast. GAG.

Miss y'all,

Madge

Loony Moon

I could not sleep last night. Finally, at 3 AM I gave up, got out of bed and ate a chunk of Scottish shortbread.

At first there was no clear explanation for my insomnia. I had enjoyed an active day of running, walking, eating, tv-watching...the yuge. Sleep should have been easy.

This morning, however, I had an inkling that Mother Nature had something to do with it. AND YES, duh, I was right! Last night was a FULL MOON. Sign, sealed, googled, I'm yours.

Time for a nap,

Madge

Great Scot!

Ok, time to take a well-earned break from Aquinass's "Summa Theologiae" to blog for you wonderful people.

After my first week in Edinburgh I can safely say, in the words of Fedde Le Grand- I love this city!

(...And for those of you that didn't catch that reference, I was alluding to the stupendous techno song "Put Your Hands Up For Detroit", where they're actually saying "A lovely city" or "Our lovely city" but everyone who's anyone just sings "I love this city...")

Funny things about Edinburgh (first installment):

1.Every homeless person has a dog. Haven't spotted a dogless one yet.

2. It's haunted and everyone knows it--accepts it as part of the scenery. People are much more likely to complain about the weather than the ghosts (who are everywhere...you can FEEL their presence and I swear I can SMELL them...oooooooohhhhhweeeeeee).

3. "Hill-walking" is a hobby.

4. My flat was built in 1690

5. Oatmeal= Porridge (more or less)

Line=Queue

Steamed milk= Hot milk

washing-up= doing the dishes? (still not sure about this one)

trainers= tennis shoes

Things I've googled today:

"emotional after period"

"define: telos"

"calories in a poached egg"

"goat's milk"

"word count"

"watch Mad Men"

SIGHHH. When am I going to de-facebook-friend all of last season's bachelors from "The Bachelorette" who I hastily friend-requested after the "Men Tell All" episode. Now they are monopolizing my news feed. It's tiresome.

Yikes...everything I have written until this point in the post was from LAST WEEK and I just never got around to publishing it. I've said it before, but it's worth repeating- Cyprus ruined me. Once the Mediterranean culture settles in your bones it never really leaves.

OH MY LORD. I just googled image searched "Aquinas" and look what popped up! Poor guy. Do we really know he looked like that? Who decides what pre-camera people are supposed to look like? Or is there a preserved sketch from way back when? Is that hair fo real????

Cheers,

Margaret

Check out my flat!

Remembering Brian

My friend Brian Bradshaw died in Afghanistan on Thursday.

Brian was such a uniquely authentic person. He brought himself 100 percent to everything he did. I worked with him at summer camp for 4 years. His humor and sense of adventure was contagious.

Despite his busy schedule, he always made an enormous effort to show up at camp gatherings, or volunteer a few sessions or facebook chat with his friends. His sarcasm and in-your-face energy never stopped him from letting his friends know he cared about them. I've always thought of him as a protector- someone I would want with me if I was stranded on a dessert island needing to survive. It kills me to think of how scary it must have been for him over there.

My heart breaks for his family.

In a few days everyone from camp is gathering for staff training and I look forward to sharing our stories about Brian. We'll make sure to keep him in our thoughts throughout the summer and spread his message of love to the campers.

I'll miss you Brian!

Hiatus: Over (for now)

Holler, friends! 

It's been a while since I've done a legit post. For old time's sake, let's start things off with a list.

Top 5 activities to improve your mood (btw, wtf is up with this shirt? I think that's a llama but it seems irrelevant to the rest of the shirt...):

1. Take a shower: The steam goes up the nose, clears the sinuses and lifts the brain up just a bit. After a shower, I always look SO MUCH BETTER. Even if I didn't look "dirty" before, the memory of my pre-shower self suddenly becomes caked in filth. My face looks like I could be in a clean&clear&undercontrol commercial. My hair smells like cupcakes. 

2. Listen to music: This could mean downloading your favorite new song from iTunes (treat yourself!), pillaging through your playlist for an oldie but a goodie, or perhaps just letting the shuffle take over. Once a worthy track hits your ears, snap those fingas and DANCE!

3. Exercise: No new news here. Whether it's walking, running, jump roping, galloping, or doing high-kicks in your room as discretely as possible while trying not to make grunting noises, exercise is a mood enhancer. Endorphins are the new meth. 

4. Take a nap: Maybe you're in a bad mood because you're sleepy. I often have to FORCE myself to take a nap, but it's well worth it. Even if you're still in a bad mood when you wake up, you at least cut out an hour or so of bad-mood time. 

5. Buy someone a present: If you can't seem to make yourself happy, switch your focus on someone else. Scrounge up some change and buy a treat for a friend. Surprise them. 

Next on the agenda: "The most dramatic rose ceremony in Bachelorette history!!!!"

 

Have you ever noticed that ABC can ceaselessly reuse this line in their promos by simply replacing either the words "dramatic" or "rose-ceremony"?

For example, they might say: "Next week, stay tuned for the most grotesque rose ceremony in Bachelorette history!!!"

Or, they might say: "Next week, stay tuned for the most dramatic one-on-one date in Bachelorette history!!!"

Jillian is the new Bachelorette and she's a mess. I wish I could be trendy and say she's a "hot mess", but she's not even hot and I'm actually over the phrase "hot mess". 

"Jilly" has a wardrobe that I'd give my right femur for, but I wouldn't wish her camel face on my worst frenemy. She was so endearing as third runner up on last seasons "The Bachelor", so what's changed? Who knows. Maybe she just seemed great compared to Molly and Melissa AND JASON (UGH). Anyway, she gets hammered in almost every episode (don't THINK we can't tell!) and talks like she has gum under her upper lip. 

Ab Nelson (cousin) has had us over every Monday night to eat hummus and watch the Canadian camel-face drink, cry, receive spin-hugs and bequeath camel-kisses to the masses. Her friends are huge Bachelor/Bachelorette fans and it's truly my favorite night of the week. 

That's all for now, folks. I've got my last two days at the PUD, then back to K-town for two nights, then off to camp for staff training! THENNNN, Edinburgh! Still filling out a shize-load of paper work, but it will all be worth it. Can't wait!

Live long and prosper, 

Margaret

The macbook is warm on my thighs...

Your honorary couve-rat, 

Margaret

Here it is again...

DS500012_3.WMA

Remember, this is just a bare-bones recording to see if it works. 

Love ya, 

Madge

First Podcast! I have a lot to learn!

This is a test!

shiza- doesn't work. i think i need to figure a few more things out.....working on it!