Madgespace

This is Your Brain on Running

2011-06-24T07:46:00.000-07:00

I have now done four official runs in my lifetime. The "Edinburgh Half Marathon" twice and the "Arden 9" twice. Also, I meet Char about three times a week for an afternoon run. You could say I run semi-regularly.

HOWEVER, please don't call me a "runner."

First reason: Running SUCKS. It sucks. It has sucked all along. Running sucks. It's gotten more bearable now that I am "in shape," but only just. Every time I run it's still agony. I don't deserve the title of "runner" because I suspect that real "runners" actually enjoy it. I definitely do not.

Second reason: Runners are small, type-A bald men with the world's whitest thighs. Does that sound like me? I hope not!

So why do I do it? I must confess that it feels really good once it's over. The endorphins rumor is true. They exist and they make you feel spectacular- relaxed, yet invigorated at the same time. Running has a bizarre way of putting your mind in perspective. Also, it keeps you from suffocating in your own fat rolls. If you're anything like me and you enjoy a good tub of movie theater popcorn, running is pretty much a necessity.

First rule of running: pose when you see a cameraman (as seen above).
The alternative is looking TERRIBLE, like you're melting, in every picture.

I actually think I could be a decent runner if it wasn't for the fact that I HATE running. Unfortunately, my brain won't let me forget it.

For example, observe my brain during the "Arden 9" race last Sunday:

00:00:00 I feel great. This is going to be GREAT!

00:00:02 Woah, this instantly feels much harder than it should.

00:00:12 I think I am having a bad run.

00:00:30 This must just be a bad run.

00:00:40 It’s an off day. Sometimes you just have an off day.

00:00:50 All I can do it my best. My legs are so much shorter than most people's.

00:03:00 COME ON! That woman has cellulite and a water bottle belt. At least beat her!

00:24: 00 YES! Water station ahead! An Oasis in the desert!

00:24:10 Take a sip!

00:24:11 Take a sip!

00:24:12 Why is this not working?

00:24:13 It’s splashing everywhere!

00:24:14 I’ll just throw it on my head instead.

00:25:00 I feel refreshed. I feel AMAZING.

00:26:00 Maybe I’ll average 7-minute miles and surprise everyone!

00:30:00 WHY THE HELL DIDN’T I ACTUALLY DRINK THAT WATER?!?

00:40:00 Just quit.

00:45:00 Just quit.

00:50:00 Just quit.

00:55:00 Just quit.

01:00:00 Just quit.

01:13:00 THERE'S THE FINISH! SPRINT! SPRINT TO THE FINISH LINE!

01:13:30 Terrible idea. Stop sprinting immediately.

01:14:00 YES, free granola bar.

So there you have it. My neurotic brain is certainly my biggest downfall. If I could only get past that, I'd be winning races all over the place!

TGIF,

Margaret

Camp Stories

2011-05-16T10:45:00.000-07:00

Summer camp, in all of its cultish glory, ruled my life for 13 years. Beginning at age 9 as a camper at Camp Don Bosco and ending at age 22 as head cook at Camp Gallagher, I spent my summers at camp eating grilled cheese, making friendship bracelets and not showering. Running around the woods all summer under the facade of employment was the funnest and I was lucky enough to make it out before they started pushing the God agenda.

As a tribute to my camp years, and as a way of kick-starting the summer, here are my top five favorite summer camp movies (in no particular order).

'Troop Beverly Hills'

Shelly Long leads a group of young, Beverly Hills girl scouts (including Donna Martin and that girl from Riley Kiley) to their first ever victory at the Wilderness Girls Jamboree. Speaking of Shelly Long, she was almost unrecognizable when she was on Modern Family. I only knew it was her because of that distinct voice of hers.

Best quote: "Patches? We don't need no stinkin patches."

Best scene (The Freddy...fast forward to the :38 mark)

'The Parent Trap' (the original)

Both my parents idolized Hayley Mills back in the day and when watching The Parent Trap, it's easy to see why. Anyone who can pull off that haircut is one charming gal.

Best quote: "Let's get together, yeah yeah yeah."

Best scene (just the first 21 seconds).

'The Parent Trap' (the remake)

Starring a likable Lindsay Lohan (before she became the 49-year-old she is today), this is a fantastic remake. It also makes me really want to live on a vineyard ("A what-yard?" "A vineyard- it's where you grow grapes to make wine.").

Best Quote: "Oof, Ice Woman!"

Best scene (I have always wanted to do this...fast forward to 6:34)

Also, check out this clip featuring a girl that I have always thought resembled a young Jody Norwood (fast forward to the 8:51 mark, she's playing the hand slapping game and wearing a green sweatshirt).

'Wet Hot American Summer'

For the summer camp counselor, this movie just cannot get any better. Letting the campers roam free while you weasel your way into a trip into town- I can relate to that. Despite being somewhat unknown, it has quite the all-star cast (Molly Shannon, Janeane Garofalo, Michael Ian Black, Paul Rudd, Amy Poheler, David Hyde Pierce, Bradley Cooper, Christopher Meloni).

Best quote: "Douche-bags are hygienic products; I take that as a compliment. Thank you."

Best scene.

'Camp Nowhere'

This movie is actually terrible (it has more cringe-worthy moments than every Julia Stiles movie combined, which is saying something), but it has two magical elements: Christopher Llyod and kids getting to do what they want with no rules!!!! YEAH!

Best quote:

"Who's this?"

"Winston Churchill- Jimi Hendrix of the spoken word. "

Best scene- there isn't one.

Honorable mention: "Heavy Weights"

I'll leave you with a spooky camp story that rivals that of Kalamath Man, Gravel Pit Girl and Clear Cut girl. It's the story of the Tiedman Terror and maybe it will be made into a movie some day.

Hours had past since campfire. The campers were in bed. As the last of their whispers gave way to soft snoring, a few insomniatic counselors gathered in the kitchen. Their evening had only just begun. You see, the brain of a camp counselor is unique. Cluttered with songs about tea-drinking pandas and lanyard weaves, they are starved for peer-to-peer conversation. Even the most polite of counselors cannot resist the urge to yell "FUCK" the second they are out of camper ear-shot. That night was no different- the counselors were craving a bit of nocturnal adventure in the remote south Puget Sound wilderness.

After taking down a final mouthful of four-layer bar, they were off; up the hill, away from camp and toward the paved road leading into town. It's a long walk to the top, about twenty five minutes maybe. The counselors didn't mind. The post-campfire sleepiness had faded in the bright shine of a full moon and time was of no concern. As they walked, the counselors gossiped eagerly about their fellow staff members and asked the juiciest would-you-rather questions they could think of. They were carefree, for that is the default setting. Don't blame them for being lighthearted. How could they have known what was to come? Why should they have been wary about the night, those woods, that full moon?

By the time they reached Tiedman road the moon had dimmed, the temperature had dropped and it was evident that the mysterious presence of deep, deep nighttime was upon them. They sat on the road near a streetlamp. Not even the counselors themselves remember much about their conversations at the road. Some reports say one of them tried to light a firework. Others, however, say they wouldn't have had time for such tomfoolery. What we do know is that it began with the sound of an engine. Distant at first, and then growing ever nearer. The counselors jumped to their feet at the site of headlights in the distance. They stood to the side of the road and watched the jeep pass in those last few seconds of naiveté.

Then, they saw him, caught in the headlights of the passing jeep, 20 yards away, and walking straight toward them. He was tall, wearing jeans and a white tank-top undershirt. Despite being completely bald he had a tiny, well-defined forehead that lasted only an inch or so before rounding off into the top of his hairless scalp. He had sunken, bug-eyes that did not blink. His gaze stayed fixed on the group of young counselors in his path. As he walked, one leg dragged slightly behind in a Vietnam-vet-style limp. The counselors stood in silence, until one of them finally managed to squeak out the word, "run!"

So they ran. And he ran after them. His slow leg churning up dust as it skipped swiftly along the country road. As they stumbled down the hillside in flipflops and moccasins, the counselors looked over their shoulders in fear. He was gaining on them. He grew closer and shouted at them; a garbled mess of words that, though indiscernible, were clearly hostile.

They continued their pursuit down the hill, no longer looking backward for fear it would slow them down. Tears streamed down their cheeks as they ran in a petrified silence. At last, they made it to the camp grounds and, exhausted, collapsed onto the kitchen porch. The man had fallen behind and they hoped he had retreated. Not taking any chances, the counselors stood guard with kitchen knifes and a telephone until sunrise.

No one knows where the Tiedman Terror went that night, or how much he knows about the camp that resides down the hill. What we do know is that things often went missing at camp that summer, and in the summers since. A kayak, a kickball, and an entire box of Krusteaz brownie mix are all thought to have disappeared at the hands of the T.T. Whether or not these events are the extent of his terror is a matter of speculation.

Ok, I am back. That was fun. Did you guess that one of those terrified counselors was me? Well, that was indeed the horse's mouth speaking and I must say it was the most scared I've ever been in my entire life (I don't really know if that's true. I don't remember anything before I was 3, so I could have been more scared at some point.).

Now I am off to bed. Well, first I'll eat a spoonful of nutella and then I will go to bed.

Love ya, mean it,

Madge

Keen as a Bean

2011-05-09T12:28:00.000-07:00

Mrs.Bean, the world's best school bus driver, taped a sign in the bus window that said, "It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice." What a doll. On the last day of school she gave us all copies of the quote that she'd printed out on small bits of paper and laminated. I promised myself I would keep it forever.

I would say "and it's still hanging up on my bedroom bulletin board to this very day," but I have just learned that my room has recently been swept of any last remnants of my existence so it can be transformed into a nursery for Baby Fitz. Somehow I doubt Mrs.Bean's small laminated message made the cut.

Hmmm...this says the author is unknown, but here it is credited to Alyssa Milano.
Who to believe?

Perhaps it's for the best that this dear childhood keepsake got the heave-ho. The more I think about the quote, the more I find it misleading. Indeed, being nice AND ALSO being important is the best outcome of them all. Why not strive for both?

Here are some tips for being nice and important that I've learned from my friends/fam.

Being Nice:

Scratch other people's arms or give them back massages when they ask. (Martha Foley)

If you have a car, be grateful and offer to give those without one a ride. (Tori Mueller)

Keep bandaids handy at all times so you can instantly offer them to the wounded. (Barbie and Char)

Being Important:

Type "sent from blackberry" or "sent from iPad" at the bottom of your emails. Much cheaper than actually buying one and it has the same image-boosting effect! (Andy)

Refer to yourself as "Doctor" when making a doctor appointment or asking the Verizon rep for a cell phone upgrade. It slices through bureaucracy like a Cutco knife through an avocado. (Nancy Padden)

Unfortunately, that's all I have at the moment. I've been struggling for blog topics in what has been the inevitable comedown from my Special K winnings. Luckily, I have something to look forward to. I'm going to go to Oxford (famous university for smart people in England) for a fancy dinner at the beginning of June. Talk about being important! Also, it's a chance to debut the dress.

Well, I'm off to trade the Edinburgh blood bank a pint of my blood for a fun-sized chocolate bar (several, actually). Worth it.

Bye,

Margaret

K-Log

2011-05-05T07:33:00.000-07:00

You just never know how the Internet is going to dictate your day. I wake up in the morning and can only guess as to what bizarre Wikipedia page I will be reading by 2:00 in the afternoon.

Well, guess what the Internet had in store for me today?

Kenny Loggins and his sweet, soft-rock weasel voice.

As I sit here listening to Rainbow Connection I must raise the question: Is Kenny Loggins likable? I'm not sure. But he definitely has that "it" factor, and don't you deny it. Plus, he is a WASHINGTONIAN! Kenny was born in Everett, Washington in 1948. Who knew?!

The original Lady Gaga? K-Log goes 'creepy-chic' for this epic album cover.

In other news, Char and I are yoga-ing tonight. Thankfully my "trapped wind" found its escape route this morning (it also functioned as my alarm clock). Now I can do cat pose without fear!

It's election day in the UK today. I am not a citizen and Kenny Loggins isn't on the ballot so I didn't vote. Instead I walked with Andy to the polling place and voted vicariously through him.

Slán,

Grassy

H-O-T-T, Hot Off the Press!

2011-05-02T10:27:00.000-07:00

Hi Everybody!

Get ready of a Madgespace EXCLUSIVE!

I am thrilled to officially announce the completion of my autobiography! It has not yet been released, but I can offer you a sneak peek at the front and back cover. Enjoy!

Front Cover

Back Cover

As you can tell, this long-awaited memoir was inspired by my recent experience winning the Special K designer dress giveaway competition (which ran throughout the UK and Ireland). Additionally, I was influenced by the fabulous autobiographies of my celebrity peers. Below are some of my most favorite celeb autobiographies (top tip: the more awkwardly a pun in jammed into the book title, the better the book usually is):

sTori Telling - Tori Spelling

A Shore Thing - Snooki

If it Makes You Healthy - Sheryl Crow (it's her cookbook)

Dancing to the Music in my Head: Memoirs of the Peoples' Idol - Sanjaya Malakar

unSweetined - Jody Sweetin

Miles to Go - Miley Cyrus

In other, less important, news...Osama bin Laden is dead now. You may or may not have read about it in the news. I am SHOCKED at how much people care! Seriously, I just did not think he was still that relevant. People flocked to the streets and partied in front of the White House. Could it be that we wanted to flex our patriotic muscles just a bit more than usual after being upstaged by the Brits' recent display of romantic nationalism? When I read my Facebook news feed this morning, I am not kidding you that I checked the calendar to see if it was the Fourth of July (I was half asleep and so confused). That's what I get for going to Facebook first before checking the news.

WELL, I need to shower. As I said to Char today, you know you need to shave your legs when you can feel your leg hairs blowing in the wind like blades of grass. Plus, now that I own a designer red dress, I'll probably start upgrading my life little by little. First it's the shaving of the legs, then I'll probably feel the need to buy moisturizer (they're so dry that scratching a slight itch will leave visible white lines on the skin for days) and the next thing you know I will be buying brand name laundry detergent and eating organic nut butters.

Until next time, y'all.

Love,

Margaret

Where the H is my Robot Vacuum?

2011-04-21T08:58:00.000-07:00

Hi,

Why on God's green earth is there not a robot vacuum scooting around my flat right now? Why isn't there a flying car parked in the driveway (besides the fact that I don't have a driveway)?

These things have been invented.

YEARS AGO.

Hmm, I wonder where they came up with

the idea for this robot vacuum's design (R2-D2)

Flying car= Amazing thing

So, why have they not broken into the mainstream? The vacuum (I always Google that word to make sure I spell it right because it's just so weird with the two 'u's) I can understand. It probably doesn't get into the corners very well and scares dogs/cats.

However, the flying car seems like an ideal solution to traffic and unreliable public transportation. I just don't get it. Maybe with all the hubbub about Global Climate Change (or as it was called in my day "Global Warming") the flying car seems like a step backward? I guess as soon as someone invents a solar-powered flying car we'll be in business. OR, wow- I just came up with this- why not wind power? It makes sense. It flies through the sky where there's always plenty of wind. DERN, I'm good.

Anyhoo, check out the other things that have been invented and ignored:

The perfectly-portioned one-click butter dispenser.

One-wheeled motorcycle (invented in 1931).

Drawers inside the stairs?! My mind has just been blown.

You'll never have to curl your toothpaste tube up again!

Check out more cool inventions from ye ol' days at BoredPanda. They are all pretty wonderful.

TGIF tomorrow!!! It happens every week, yet it never ceases to be exciting as all get out. FRIDAY, folks. FRIDAY. It's the best.

Love,

Margaret

Laffy Tafty

2011-04-20T10:30:00.000-07:00

I've always had a smoldering, almost subconscious obsession with President William Howard Taft and I'm pretty sure I can pinpoint why. After some careful consideration in the minutes leading up to me writing this blog post I was able to conclude that, yes, it is because he was the fattest president ever. Of course. I mean, what a legacy! The second reason: he had a custom-made bath tube. I LOVE baths!

Look at his official White House oil painted portrait. That guy had a belly on him. To give him some credit, though, Wikipedia says he lost about 80 pounds after he left office. Way to go Tafty!

Taft's custom-made bathtub!

Anyway, the portrait makes me wonder when "full-figured" people stopped wearing their pants (trousers) over their gut, and started wearing the waistline right under the gut. At what point in history did that moment occur?

Also, what looks better? Wearing the waistline up near the belly button makes the portly individual appear to have a ginormous bladder. However, wearing it underneath the belly leaves it all to hang out. Thoughts?

Hey! It looks liked the BBC has already tackled this issue. They always beat me to it! Check out their jazzy compare/contrast photo:

According to the article it was around the turn of the 20th Century (when people started to wear lounge suits...HA) that waistlines began to fall. And they have ebbed and flowed since.

Well, we've all learned something today. Now it's time for me to make some tea and watch some Glee. Ugh, I HATE unintentional rhyming sentences.

Love ya,

Margaret

P.S. Look at the d'angelos on that "trendy teenager!"

Vocation Sensation

2011-04-14T05:59:00.000-07:00

Warning:This cartoon has nothing to do with the rest of the blog, I just like it.

Last year as I was writing my horrendous dissertation as part of a horrendous course to get a horrendous degree, I would continually whine to Andy that I "should have learned a trade." Though I have since emerged out of the depths of my dissertation despair, I still daydream about what my life would be like had I not decided to get a liberal arts education pursue and education for education's sake.

If I were a flight attendant: I would give a free beer or a glass of wine or a snack to the passengers I thought seemed nice. I would tell them that every time I fly I pull a random seat number out of a hat and give that person an extra treat. I would tell them that today is their lucky day.

If I were an architect: I would build an apartment building and have separate garbage and recycling shoots built into each apartment. Finished with that diet coke? Just open that circular-shaped door in the wall that is labeled "aluminum" and toss the can down the shoot!

If I were a doctor: I would be a gastroenterologist/psychiatrist combo and mainly just listen to people tell their stories of woe. Most of my prescriptions would be telling people to "take a vacation from their problems" (Dr. Leo Marvin, 1991) and for the occasional suppository laxative.

If I were a teacher: I would barely ever give homework other than watching the news/reading the newspaper. I would read out loud to them in the afternoons. Two Fridays a month we would play heads-up-seven-up and eat microwave popcorn!

If I were a mechanic: I would start an oil-changing franchise in the UK or Ireland because people only change their oil once a year over here when they have to get their MOT test. What? Yeah, I don't understand it either.

ANNNYhoo, I can only dream of such things and be grateful for the fact that somehow I make money while sitting in my bed all day long. And I am grateful! It's 3:02pm and I still haven't changed out of my pajamas. How wonderful!

Cheers,

Smadge

Being an Adult>Being a Kid

2011-04-12T05:48:00.000-07:00

Greetings!

Description of last Saturday night:

Andy and I went and saw Doug Stanhope do some comedy, went to the pub and played on the electronic quiz machine, bought a pizza from a chip shop, then ate it in bed while watching episode after episode of the West Wing.

There seems to be a consensus that childhood is the greatest and you should "enjoy it while you can" and blah blah blah. Well, compare my description of Saturday night with the following generic description of a kid's Saturday night:

Can't invite friends over because a friend spent the night last night. Eats a dinner of his parents' choosing. Watches an hour of TV because that's all that is allowed. Plays outside in the backyard but is forced to come inside and go to bed just as it's getting fun.

Hmmm....I will take the first option any ol' day of the week. Being an adult is wonderful. Nobody ever told me that! I don't have a bedtime, I get to make money and then I get to spend it on what I want, I get to vote in elections and, most importantly, I don't have to do homework!!!!!!!!

Kids do, however, have some things up on adults. For instance, experiencing insane levels of excitement on Christmas morning, not having to pay taxes, fast metabolisms and having all of your essential needs (food, shelter, clothing) provided for. Aside from those four things, life actually gets BETTER as you get older. So, if there are any kids out there reading this (there aren't), don't worry too much about "enjoying childhood while you still can" and don't buy into the propaganda that life is a downhill spiral once you hit 18. Not true!

Hasta la vista,

Margaret

Magic Eye

2011-04-05T13:42:00.000-07:00

Nǐ hǎo,

Every time I went to the orthodontist I would try to do the Magic Eye that was hanging on the wall in the lobby. After several attempts I finally pretended that I saw the sailboat (word had gotten out by that point) and convinced myself that you either have it or you don't when it comes to doing Magic Eyes. So, I haven't attempted one since...

UNTIL NOW. Dun dun dun.

Here goes nothing...

Nope. Nada. And my eyes hurt now. I gave up and read the answer. It's nothing even close to what I maybe thought I saw (a mermaid on a rock). If you want to know the answer I will post it in a comment.

If you didn't figure it out, make yourself feel better by looking at these nifty optical illusions.

This one's a classic. Young lady looking away? OR, old lady with a witch-like nose?

Andy discovered this one on Lamebook yesterday. The girl looks naked, but it's just her friend's arm! YIKES.

I hear there is a US Celebrity Apprentice going on right now. Sounds like I have some megavideoing to do!

Love,

Margaret

Aging

2011-04-04T13:27:00.000-07:00

Yo yo ma,

The other day I had the misfortune of viewing three of my idols, Joshua Lyman, Toby Ziegler and President Josiah Bartlett, in a YouTube video of a commercial they shot years after the West Wing ended. I was stunned by Josh's sagging jowls and Toby's sunken cheeks. To be frank, they looked like they had one foot in the grave. They looked over the hill. They looked OLD.

Here- check it out yourself.

Since watching the video the first time I have recovered from my shocked and realized that when the video was shot a significant amount of time had passed since their youthful West Wing days. It's the same as when you see any celebrity years down the road. I remember seeing a video of Judy Garland in her later years and being stunned by her wrinkles and gravelly voice.

Guess who this is?

SHIRLEY TEMPLE!!!

She's the last person you'd suspect would get old. But she did. We all do. And you know what? I am OK with it. I'm looking forward to aging gracefully like a wise old Japanese woman (better start drinking some green tea) and I can't wait to not give a rat's arse about anything because I've "been everywhere" and "seen it all." Exciting!

I have, however, laid out a few ground rules for my personal aging process. I advise you to follow suit.

1. Moisturize the face frequently
2. Never give up wearing colors and patterned prints
3. Play chess and do crosswords to keep the mind buzzing
4. Avoid wearing "young persons clothes" such as low-rise jeans after the age of 40, but never shop at stores solely aimed at the middle-aged, such as Talbots.
5. Remain open to learning new technologies
6. Never have hair longer than shoulder length after the age of 50
7. Smile as much as possible
8. Exercise, even if it just means swimming because the joints can't take running or walking
9. Travel to warm climates and soak up the vitamin D
10. Dance to tunes from the good ol' days
11. FLOSS and brush the teeth often. Toothaches are THE WORST

Well, I am going to scan the blogs and then hit the hay. Also, I am back on Twitter now. I didn't break from Twitter like Amanda Bynes or Miley Cyrus (both of whom are back on it now), but I simply forgot about it completely. I've been tweeting tonight and enjoying it. Look out for @grassyllama if you know what's good for you.

TTFN,

Madge

Anomalies

2011-04-02T07:08:00.000-07:00

Hi!!

It's Sunday. This usually means I will cry about something trivial, become extremely restless, and then sit in my running clothes for about an hour thinking about going for a run. Andy noticed this pattern in my behavior on Sundays and was kind enough to share his observations with me. I think it happens because I am sad about the weekend ending. WELL, today I am going to stop the insanity (a la Susan Powter) and break the trend by BLOGGING my sorrows away. Plus, it's a wonderful sunny day here in E-burgh! We're starting our half-marathon training in a couple hours and I'm actually looking forward to it.

I've been doing some wikipediaing recently. My particular interest has been the world's anomalies, aka FREAKS OF NATURE.

Here's what I've found.

Mammals That Lay Eggs:

The platypus and the echidna are the only mammals on earth that lay eggs. These little freaks look like regular mammals, but when it comes time to have a baby they lay eggs like a HEN! WHAT? Yes, it's true. Then, once their babies hatch, the platypus and echidna suckle their young as if they were one of us. What wonderful, crazy guys! Here's to the platypus and the echidna- they truly broke the mold when they made you.

Foreign Accent Syndrome:

Ever heard of a disease that makes you a racist? Well, foreign accent syndrome infects people with botched accents that make it sound as if you're constantly making fun of another culture. It is hilarious. Absolutely hilarious.

The Dancing Plague of 1518:

Way back in the day in what was then the Holy Roman Empire, a bunch of people started dancing and just couldn't stop. We've all been there. Just when you're about to call it a night, Kelly Clarkson comes through the speakers and before you know it you're back on your feet, toe-tappin and finger snappin away. Well, these folks got the dance fever real bad. So bad, in fact, that some of them died from it. They would dance for days without stopping and this went on for a month! If Armageddon ever seems imminent, give me a Delorian and take me back to 1518 where I can die doing what I love!

WOW. I have to pee. Why did I put it off for so long? Ultimate laziness. Well, see ya next time!

Love,

Margaret

My Pore Nose!

2010-12-05T10:24:00.000-08:00

I have heard that the definition of crazy is repeating the same thing again and again and expecting different results. If this is true, then Biore Pore Strips are my crazy. Time and time again I apply the blackhead removal device to my speckled nose, only to be disappointed. Yet, here I am- bedridden, with a hot water bottle on my lap and a Biore Pore Strip suctioned to my schnoz. It just feels good; kind of like putting clear tape on both sides of your finger and then bending it. If you haven't tried that, I suggest you do it now. The skin around your knuckle folds up and feels sticky, while the outer part of your finger is silky smooth. TRY IT!

Ok, now for what you've been waiting for: my take on the Wikileaks drama. Here it goes. I think it's fine. More information is always a good thing, and if diplomats need to be secretive I suppose they'll have to find new, better ways of doing it. It's hard to keep things private on the Internet, because the internet was designed to be decentralized and open. If leaks of this nature had occurred prior to the Iraq war they might have shed light on the WMD ruse and we would be praising them. In regard to Julian Assange, however, he needs to stay away from the Lucious Malfoy hairdo. Not working for him.

Ok, now for what you have REALLY been waiting for: my take on Top Chef Season 8 All Stars!!! Char and I chose to forgo our usual Friday night clubbing so we could stay in, snuggle our hot water bottles, and watch episode one of Top Chef All Stars. Man-o-man was it good! I don't think a season opener of any season of any series has ever lived up to my massive expectations more. All the very best chefs from past seasons are competing for Top Chef redemption. They have Carla, both Tiffanys, Mike Isabella, Dale, and so many of my all time favorites. Plus, Anthony Bourdain is the third judge, which adds a fresh energy to the show.

Well, it's about time I put some lotion on my dry, scaly hands. Oh Winter, you are truly a formidable fiend. However, I do like the feel of a snowy Edinburgh, so perhaps you ain't too bad after all.

Llama,

Margaret

The olden days were WEIRD.

2010-07-16T12:00:00.000-07:00

My friend Will showed me this video and I was struck by two things while watching it:

1. The olden days were WEIRD

2. I have seen my mother (Nadinski Montbrosis, as she's known on Facebook) do that exact dance that they do at the end...leg to the side, arms swinging, foot bent up toward the sky.

For my dissertation I have read a lot about how the internet is ruining our lives. These people talk about simpler days, before we became addicted to technology. Well, this video is my rebuttal. You cannot watch this it and still claim that modern technology has been a curse on our culture. The RIDICULOUSNESS of those dance moves/attempts at special effects proves just how far we've come. Also, the internet should also be revered for providing us a portal (in this case, a Will Portal) into a time and place to which we shall never, ever, return. On top of that, this is high-quality entertainment. I was DYING the first time I watched it (and the 17 other times as well).

What will we find weird when we look back on it years from now? There are the obvious answers: ugg boots, Ke$sha, Oprah, frappucinos, TV news ... but I bet there's something that is just too "cool" now to predict it ever being seen as weird.

Anyhoo, I am about to go walk along the beach with ol' Rammy Rampog. Gotta love feeling the misty sea air on your face. Gotta gotta love it.

Cheerio,

MmAaRrGgAaRrEeTt

Reality Bites

2010-07-14T01:42:00.000-07:00

Remember that movie? Reality Bites. Was it good? It was good, right?

Also, a Kenmore Junior High yearbook when Char and Francie where there had a picture of the "world" (globe, earth, etc.) on it with a large serrated bite taken out of it and text that said "When reality bites, bite back". Very strange. Does not seem fitting for a yearbook cover.

Anyway, reality literally bit for me yesterday. I went to the dentist- which is a completely different experience over here, let me tell you. They usher you in, you lie down on the chair, they stick a needle in your gum before you have time to be scared, and 15 minutes later your cavity is filled. It makes me wonder what in the world my previous, American dentists have been doing in my mouth for all those hours. I suspect they're just doing a more thorough job.

ANYWAY, I must have looked like a weakling because they did not take their chances in numbing my tooth. They hit me with a novacaine shot that would have killed a small mammel (rabbit, raccoon, toy poodle). It didn't kill me, but it did paralyze half of my face giving me the appearance of a terrible stroke victim.

Check out these pics of me trying to smile! HAHA!

Then, as one does, I wanted to eat leftover pizza. LIKE A FOOL, I just took a huge-arse bite. Immediately I realized I had bitten the side of my lip. Live and learn. It's healed and I'm ok, but it really ruined the leftover-pizza-eating experience.

I've learned that mistakes happen and you just have to learn from them and move on. We're (Andy and I) trying to get this Backstage Edinburgh business up and running. Yesterday I accidently sent the wrong proof of our map/guide to the printers and it set us back some big bones. It was a poopy, POOPY, feeling, but I went to Char's and got some much needed perspective. THEN, I watched Mary's Haiti video and really got some much needed perspective. So proud of my cuz! THEN, I chatted with my Dad who had just uploaded an amazing video to Facebook for the first time which also made me proud.

WARM REGARDS,

Margaret

VIDEO BLOG: nothing interesting is said.

2010-07-11T07:43:00.000-07:00

Love, marg

I've gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a good good night

2010-07-11T01:09:00.000-07:00

Holler,

Tonight is the big night- the 2010 FIFA World Cup final.

Holland v. Spain

Orange v. Red w/some yellow in there

Wooden Clogs v. Espadrilles (?)

Dutch Babies v. Spanish Omelette

Van Gogh v. Picasso

Windmills v. Bullfighting

Phew, that took some googling. Anyway, most people I've spoken to (none of whom are Spanish or Dutch) don't really care who wins tonight. Everyone just wants a good game. Maybe an early Holland goal? Any early goal would set the game in motion. I wouldn't mind seeing a goal scored by the goalie- straight from a goal kick into the back of the net. That would make watching EVERY game of this World Cup worth it for me. I am pretty sure all the English are hoping for a Howard Webb win.

Not to glass-half-empty it, but what the HECKFIRE are we suppose to do after tonight?!? The end of the World Cup doesn't just mean no more football games, it also means we must wave goodbye to:

1. The bombinating, B-flat, drone of vuvuzelas that has been the screensaver of our brains throughout the tournament (at ALL times- not just while watching the games). Won't miss that.

2. AFRICA SINNNNNGING AFRICA SINGGGGING SING SING AFRICA SING SING AFRICA

3. The Guardian World Cup Daily podcast. I will miss it.

4. Paul the Octupus- he'll be calamari by Monday.

Oh well, George Harrison taught us that all things must pass, and so be it. Here's to a great game tonight!

Love,

Margar

P.S. "Bombinate" is a verb that means to make a droning noise. What a fantastic word! Thank you, thesaurus.com.

P.P.S. I understand that calamari is squid, but since there is no name for cooked octopus (other than just "octopus") I just decided to use it anyway.

These week's pop-culture recap!

2010-07-10T04:49:00.000-07:00

Well, this was certainly amazing:

BUT, even more amazing is the auto-tune remix:

In other news, an English-born octopus named Paul who now resides in Germany has been predicting who's going to win the World Cup games. He has chosen Spain for the final. He was right about Germany's 6 World Cup games thus far, but it should be interesting to see if his powers work for games that the German team are not participating in. If it turns out that Paul truly is psychic, we can finally have an answer to Karl Pilkington's question about Octopie- "do we need 'em"?

In Cristiano Ronaldo news, he had a baby with an unknown gal and has full custody. More importantly, he got mistaken for Jersey Shore's 'The Situation' at a restaurant in New York. HAHAHA!

Lindsay Lohan got sentenced to 90 days in jail! Dino Lohan, her mother, says she is "disappointed with the system". She must be referring to the "system" that punishes those who repeatedly break the law. Officials at the LA County Superior Court are unhappy with the system in a different sense. This New York Times article said the courts in LA are overwhelmed by celebrity offenders. They're dealing with Lohan front and center, but let's not forget Don Johnson, Anna Nicole Smith's doctor, Leif Garret, and Mel Gibson's babymamma. The article describes the chaos that occurs every time Lohan comes and goes from court. In this last hearing, as Lohan exits amid a sea of paparazzi and security, Danny DeVito shows up on the front steps to report for jury duty!

Hmmm, there were some emmy nominations, but I don't really care about that. All I want is for MadMen Season 4 to start immediately. Only 15 days to go!

The US swapped some Russian spies for some US agents. They gave Russia 10 spies back but they only got 4 spies in return. Whaaaaa? Anyway, they will definitely make a movie out of this someday.

Alright, that's all the pop-culture that I can remember for now. I am going to really make it my beeswax to update my blog more. I miss writing. I miss the fame.

As the Irish would say 'Bye buh ba bye bye byebyebyebyebyebye',

Margaret

P.S. Speaking of Irish, I almost forgot the most important pop-culture news of all! My BRO-in-law Bobby is famous! Check it out!

Don't hate me because I'm popular

2010-07-06T10:15:00.000-07:00

In sixth grade my friends and I would sit in the "middle room" during lunchtime. The middle room was the small rectangular room between our classroom and the classroom next door. It was where the bathrooms were (boys on the left, girls on the right) and also where the large trash bin was kept.

It was glorious.

We'd close the doors, which each had a square of window that allowed for just the right about of privacy and just the right about of snooping, eat our sack lunches (or, in my case, shrimp flavored ramen noodles given to me by Pim, my family's Thai exchange student) and chat about all the important things 12-year-olds have to talk about.

Then, our teacher told us we couldn't eat in there anymore. He said that it made the other kids feel excluded. My defense was "but they aren't our friends". Initially it seems harsh, but upon greater reflection I don't find it too shabby an argument. We weren't actively excluding anyone. I was sitting in the middle room with the people who I had the most in common with, the people that I got along best with, the people who I had fallen into a friendship with. Why would I go sit next to someone who liked Animorph books or cried all the time in P.E.? Nothing against them, but I just wasn't interested in pursuing a friendship there. Groups form naturally- it's not about being "cliquey", it's just part of our organic social instinct. What angered me was the fact that my group of friends was no different than the groups sitting in other areas of the classroom. The other kids had never approached us and asked us to join them. Why were we the ones being punished?

It was this moment that first alerted me to the phenomenon of disliking something that is perceived as "popular". If a once underground band gets any sort of mainstream airplay it will often be accused of "selling out". Along the same line, those who say things like "the Beatles are overrated" are plain and simply kidding themselves. I am skeptical of people who claim to dislike objectively good things, like chocolate and babies. People who throw around the now worn-out and boring line "I hate kids" are so ridiculous that they might belong to a separate category of those who hate something merely because they're selfish downers.

Disliking what's "popular" is the result of two experiences:

1. Genuine dislike (this is rare, but it does happen and it's completely well-founded)

2. Fulfilling ones need to establish individuality and uniqueness through negative means

That said, I never got into Furbys and I don't care much for the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I promise it's not because I want to distinguish myself as a free spirit.

IN OTHER NEWS, the World Cup is going to end next week and we're all going to have to figure out something to do instead. It seems tragic to think of soccerless days, but it's an ever-encroaching reality. Golf is not going to cut it as a replacement. Mad Men Season 4 starts on July 25th, so it's only about a week and a half that must be filled. I suppose I'll try to get some work done during that time.

Siiiiigh, I am going to make some dinner now. It's between a PB&J or scrambled eggs/toast. The first option is easy and the second option is actually still easy but just seems hard compared to the first option. We'll see how I feel when I'm in the kitchen.

Love you,

Marg

P.S. Babies and chocolate are both wonderful things when they are separate entities. HOWEVER, these "baby-shaped chocolates" are just disturbing:

Celery is not boring.

2010-06-30T09:40:00.000-07:00

Celery is under appreciated. I have a hunch people find it boring. As we get older the task of smearing peanut butter into its canal seems tedious and not to mention impractical (peanut butter + sandwich bags = mess). When I was in 4th grade I was told not to feed it to the classroom guinea pig because the long green strings would tangle around its organs and kill it. Maybe that's true, or maybe it's that same anti-celery propaganda I've been smothered with my entire life. Well, ENOUGH. NO MORE. I am ready to profess my adoration for celery right here on the most prestigious of media formats, the personal blog.

Andy was chomping his ginormous mouth on a celery stalk the other day at his aunt's house. She had displayed the celery in a vase full of cold water in the middle of the buffet table. Wanting something to munch on, and eager to avoid calories (as always), I joined him.

It was FANTASTIC! Celery is a strange one- it truly doesn't have much flavor, but it has just enough to make you take another bite. When I eat celery it's like stepping out the front door for the first time in a day. It's breezy.

Celery can really push a dish into interestingness. I'm talkin' chili, chicken (aka fake chicken) salad, soup, thanksgiving stuffing, FOIL DINNERS...

In other news, I just returned from England. During my week there I:

Ran a 9 mile race
Went to London and saw the sights
Got attacked by mating foxes while attempting to sleep outside in a homemade fort
Stepped on the entire insides (GUTS! ORGANS AND INTESTINES EWWWW) of a squirrel or rabbit with my bare foot

The moral of all that seems to be that life is, like that one movie with Kirsten Dunst that looked terrible, "Crazy Beautiful".

Llama,

Madge

P.S. I am aware that interestingness is not a word. I used it because I am a POET. I don't play by your rules.

Sucked in

2010-05-18T09:13:00.000-07:00

Ok, you can stop the conspiracy theories. I am here to put the rumors (rumours!?) to rest once and for all.

I'M ALIVE.

Just because I haven't been blogging with the usual frequency, I assure you I am still a living, breathing, human.

In general it's fair to say I've been sucked in to life in the UK. Sometimes I say "courgette" instead of "zucchini", and soccer is now almost always "football". But it's more than just an issue of vocabulary. This is serious.

I now know the names of at least 5 British politicians- compare that with my previous number: 1 (Churchill). At nighttime I don't go to stores (shops) because they're closed. This is a weird one- I don't hear accents any more. When my friends talk I just hear their voices but I don't think they're talking in an accent. WOAH. On average, I ride in a car once or twice a month. Did you know about the Falkland Islands? Well, it turns out they are a thing that exists.

I am pretty sure that Seattle might just be the greatest place on earth but I can't quite get over how amazing it is to be so close to so many OTHER countries. There is a greater sense of being in the thick of it all over here. Contrary to my previous beliefs, Kenmore, Washington is not the epicenter of world activity. Who knows if it's the UK either- but it does feel a bit closer to it here than anywhere else I've ever been.

So, I've been sucked in. Speaking of which, the other day I was watching cricket in the pub (see what I mean?) and the topic of quicksand came up. Two out of the five people in our group claimed to have been caught in quicksand at some point in their life! I had no idea it was such a plausible risk! Their advice: don't struggle, stay calm.

Blog topic suggestions?

I love you,

Margaret

Simply the stressed

2010-04-05T13:13:00.000-07:00

I need a stress relief ball to squeeze. They're always there when you don't need them (waiting in line at Bartell Drugstore) and they're never there when ya do (right now).

This urge to clinch a sand filled balloon comes from an epiphany I had in the shower yesterday. I am STRESSED OUT. To make matters worse, I am not just temporarily stressed out- it is part of my personality! Hells bells.

I know this revelation probably comes as no surprise to many of you, but to me it was shocking. I've always pitched myself as a laid back person. Ha!

Silver lining: this explains a lot.

Why I have irritable bowel syndrome. Why I have restless leg syndrome. Why I webmd things. Why I never successfully open cereal boxes (impatience coupled with stress). Why I want to cry right before I sign into my school email. Why I eat popcorn really fast. Why I speed walk to every destination. Why the sight of elderly people fills me with guilt. Why I bite my nails. Why I chew gum a pack at a time. Why I sigh so much. Why I don't sleep.

So on and so forth.

It all comes down to priorities- what REALLY matters? Not a lot. It doesn't take much to be happy. I have everything I need.

Love,

Margaret

Suit Yourself

2010-03-21T13:01:00.000-07:00

The other day we were playing the game "what would I buy you if I won the lottery".

I told Andy I would buy him a set of perfectly custom-tailored suits in the style of every decade since the 1920s.

What a nice gift, eh?

Well, all the Mad Men I've been watching lately has given me a new appreciation for mens' suits. It really is a sharp look. Classy. Powerful. Serious. Important.

As for the female suit- meh, I am not convinced. Actually, I think I might hate female-business-chic. Pencil skirts, white blouses, blazers. Doesn't work for me. Again, with Mad Men as my muse, I much prefer colorful and printed dresses. Old fashioned, maybe, but also more flattering and more fun.

On a completely unrelated note, I have come up with about a million potential dissertations that I prefer to my own. Some include:

1. A Winning Foreign "Ball-icy": How sports aids international diplomacy.

2. Candidate Mr. None of the Above: The history of politician name-changing for better ballot positioning.

3. The political ecosystem of national animals- the food chain from the Latvian White Wagtail to the Armenian Dragon.

4. Vitamin Addiction: A Mental Illness

Well, that's all for now. I am watching the health care bill votes via nytimes.com- vurrrry interesting.

Toodledo,

Mog

Grey Areas: The Good, The Bad, The something in-between good and bad.

2010-03-08T14:03:00.000-08:00

I tend to shy away from defining things in black and white. Everything is a bit of both. Life is complex. It'd be irresponsible to think in such dichotomized terms. Right?

However, I can't help but think that floating around in this purgatory of opinion makes me a pathetic weakling. I can manipulate any topic so neither side is credible, or both sides have areas of merit, or perhaps boiling it down to two sides is dangerously oversimplifying things. I'm too good at this, it makes me queasy. I remember Max Kay once told me "At a certain point, you have to choose a side". We were talking about Democrats and Republicans, but the sentence could be applied to a lot of topics (satsumas v. clementines for example).

BUT, to stick with my inescapable compromise philosophy, I think there are situations that require concise, undoubting conclusions and there are situations that really are too complex to put in a nutshell. It really just depends on the situation. Ahhhhh, I can't help it. I'm a deplorable apologist.

Anyway, something that I am CERTAIN about is peoples' love of lists. So here are some lists for your viewing pleasure:

Enjoyable Grey Areas:

1. Your semi-autistic friend. Everyone has one (or more) of these- a friend who isn't diagnosed with autism, but definitely has some of its quirks. An autism grey area- this could mean saying bizarre, cringe-worthy things, being freakishly talented in one specific area, or having a weird tick.

2. Last orders. When a barman hollers out "last orders" this could mean another hour in the pub. This grey area varies depending on the friendliness of the bar staff and the stubbornness of the patrons.

3. Finger food. Even if you're at a ritzy, 5-star, restaurant, it's still ok to eat some food with your fingers. It's at least acceptable. Ribs? Pizza? Bruschetta? Go for it.

Non-Enjoyable Grey Areas:

1. Teacher's names. Do you call them by their first or last name? If you're sticking with the last name, do you preface it with "Dr", "Professor", or just "Mr/Mrs"?? This is a stressful grey area.

2. High-five? Handshake? Hug? For the past two years I've just gone in for the hug...it's better to go for it than wind up with an awkward fist-pump or a side-hug.

3. Acknowledgement of homeless people who are on the street asking for change. Bear with me- but we've all been in this situation many times. I think most people just ignore and walk past. Some say "sorry" and keep walking. I tend to smile and shake my head. Does anyone actually give them change? Should we? I've heard both.

Also interesting, is the spelling of "grey" is itself a grey area. It can also be spelled "gray". I think.

Have a nice grey (HAHAHHAHAHA),

Madge

P.S. No, I don't think the picture really relates to the "grey areas" topic. I just found it on google image search and liked it.

Phoney and Deafiant

2010-02-21T10:18:00.000-08:00

My friend George got punched by a deaf girl last night. The whole thing was very weird.

One of us saw one of them take George's phone off the table while he was up having a boogie to the song "I Saw Her Standing There". You know the one. It goes "She was just seventeeeeeen if you know what I mean. And the way she looked was way beyond compare...". Great song. We were doing the twist, spinning each other around, pointing at the singer and giving all our fellow dancers thumbs ups. If only it was possible to freeze that moment in all of its glory, because what followed was not pleasant.

It really did not help that they were deaf. It made us the bad guys. It made communication difficult -conveniently difficult- or maybe just difficult. They denied taking it before we even asked. I've seen enough episodes of Law&Order to know that's suspicious.

George was calm. He had just returned from two weeks back home in Greece. Goodbye sunshine, family, and delicious fresh-pressed olive oil. Hello frigid weather, puke-splattered streets and phone theft.

He and Andy motioned "Do you have the cell phone? Please give it back" as best they could. The main suspect and his friends heaved and flailed their bodies angrily. I was perplexed by the bizarre scene. They were so angry, but obviously not at the accusation which they knew was justified (by the way, the perpetrator has since texted using George's phone, confirming that he did indeed take it). So what were they angry at?

The situation was almost instantly impossible. We were at a standstill.

Then, in an act of seemingly unprovoked rage, the girlfriend of the main guy lunged at George and smacked him on his right eye. It made his eyebrow piercing bleed and swell a bit. The bartender got him some ice.

Our two options at that point were to leave the pub or to call the police. We just left.

What I learned from the experience:

1. There is no excuse for being objectively angry- not even deafness.

2. Most people are nice and understanding. The bar staff, for example, were genuinely concerned. And I will not forget that before the whole drama happened we were dancing with random, happy, friendly people.

3. Violence is irrational and scary. I felt sick a bit and apparently the bartender's hands were shaking (Andy saw when she was writing down his contact details).

Anyway, on a less depressing, more generic note- isn't the internet great? I'm STILL not over it's incredible awesomeness. Today, in Starbucks, I googled the lyrics to a song that was playing as I ate my chocolate chunk cookie (indulging after last night's insanity). Now the song is purchased and resting patiently in my iTunes library until I can get home and play it without the fear of disturbing the fellow s-bucks patrons. So, yeah, the internet is once again brilliant.

Love you,

Margaret

UPDATE: George has a legit black eye!

Who do you think you are?

2010-02-11T14:13:00.000-08:00

I have figured "people" out. I know that is a very general statement, but it's true.

People (you know who you are) seek IDENTITY. They want to know who they are. They want their friends to tell them.

I realized this human-wide characteristic after I had to consult Facebook when someone asked me what my favorite movie was. It made me think- who AM I??It also made me think about the times I've asked my friends "How would you describe me to a stranger?" or "Do people know me as the girl who always wears shirts and sweatshirts with wildlife scenery on them?" or "What would you say my 'look' is? Native-American-chic?"

At Gonzaga I belonged to the elite group in which you could be called "bagel girl", which I took much pride in.

More evidence of this fascinating theory:

People are always defining themselves by what they're not. This is exemplified by Barbie Solbakken's famous words, "I'm just not a thai-food kind of girl" (It turned out she was a thai-food kind of girl, she just didn't know it yet).

When someone is particularly desperate for an identity they decide not to like amazing, wonderful, objectively good things like chocolate, Summer and LOST. I feel sorry for them.

When you're not quite sure who you are, it's common to consult your "roots". This might make you a Washingtonian, a Catholic, a Democrat, a Vegetarian or any other group society so conveniently places you in. Who am I? Ahhh, now I remember- I am a Catholic Democrat, a proud resident of Washington State and I do NOT eat meat. Sigh of relief. My identity has been found!

(By the way, I am clearly not talking about myself there. I am a pescatarian, after all)

BUT I am forever an Arrowhead Hawk, Kenmore Colt, Inglemoor Viking, and Gonzaga Bulldog.

When the father of my cousin's first college roommate introduced himself to my aunt and told her "I'm a pilot" she responded with "You're a pilot? So am I!" Of course, my aunt was talking about being a University of Portland Pilot while the man was talking about the other, lesser known, meaning of "pilot"- the one that means flyer of commercial aircraft. Though my cousin was mortified, each pilot was surely more secure in their identity.

So, if you ever want to make someone's day and secure their friendship at least temporarily, tell them who they are. Describe to them a defining characteristic that sets them apart from the crowd. They'll love it and they'll love you for it!

Don't believe me? Check out my Facebook page and see how many friends I have.

LOVE (it's almost Valentine's day),

Margaret

Editors Note: The above screen shot of a Facebook Interests section is not my Facebook page....simply a product of google image search.

Sharing is Caring

2010-01-26T03:06:00.000-08:00

Hello lovely people! It's been a while. What have I been up to? So nice of you to ask!

Well.....

after Christmas I went down to visit Andy in his hometown called Hampton-in-Arden. That is not a joke. Hampton-in-Arden. Being the jazzy character I am, the nickname "H-in-A" naturally emerged from my fat, American, mouth. Shakespeare used to live nearby. The Shakespeare.

Anyway, it was quite the experience. A perfect blend of relaxation and doing stuff. Sitting around with his fam watching cricket and drinking tea all morning but roaming around a nearby CASTLE and meeting up with his friends too.

Me jumping at the Kenilworth Castle:

The road-trip back to E-burgh was also enjoyable. We drove through the Lake District and stayed up there with our friend Jonny for the night before heading back home the next morning. Jonny had his skis in the car and I skied down an icy hill! Thrilling! There were sheep watching me!

Jonny and Andy walking up an icy road:

Skiing!

"Burrrrrrr" they kept saying. Was it because they were cold, or because they are sheep? I'll never know.

Enough about me. Man, I have some funny stories that would be perfect for Madgespace, but they all involve people who read this blog! How am I suppose to dish out all the juicy gossip without offending people? What a treacherous tightrope of politeness I must walk in this blogging business.

Instead, I will divulge my own secrets. So, I guess rather than 'enough about me' I really meant 'more about me'.

To begin, I went commando all last week due to lack of clean gunders. Secondly, if I am walking with my iPod and cool-looking people walk by, I switch from whatever horrible/wonderful song is playing (Miley Cyrus: Party in the USA) to something more acceptable JUST IN CASE they can somehow hear it too. Thirdly, I think Celebrity Big Brother is absolutely wonderful. Fouthly and finally, I have never seen: Top Gun or ET and have faked knowledge of the movies my whole life.

Toodledoo,

Madge

P.S. How can we be expected to accomplish anything when LOST starts in 7 days?!?! Can I get a 'what what'!?

P.P.S. I am going to think of some delightful, witty, intelligent, quirky, interesting things to say for my next post. I promise!

Expat Xmas!

2009-12-25T02:16:00.000-08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Char and I fidgeted around for about two hours until FINALLY, at 7:30, we allowed ourselves to get out of bed. PRESENTS!

It was a good haul this year. So many thoughtful gifts- and a few bizarre ones too!

It's not too weird being away from home for the holiday. It helped to have multiple K-town traditions transported over here for our yuletide pleasure. Christmas roll sent by mail and kept fresh by the frigid Scottish temperatures. The Berenstain Bears' Christmas Tree book, read aloud by yours truly last night before beddyby. Muppets' Christmas Carrol- a true classic!

I haven't showered in days! Luckily, Char got me some "dry shampoo" in my stocking. I guess "they" use it all the time over here. GROSS. You just spray it on your greasy mop whenever showering seems too tedious (which is pretty much always). Joke present or not, I fear it may become a regular part of my hygiene routine (which is already embarrassingly minimal).

Now all we have to do is sit back, watch a horrendous version of the movie "Heidi" on TV and eat more cinnamon roll? Then we're going to walk to Char's work to use the printer to print off my boarding pass (I'm going to England in two days).

Ok, time to refill the ol' hot water bottle.

I LOVE YOU ALL!

Merry Christmas,

Margaret

Homie Don't Play That

2009-12-07T02:15:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago my dear pal Andy challenged me to a breath-holding competition. Actually, maybe he just asked me how long I could hold my breath for. It might not have even been a challenge. Either way, I immediately REFUSED. Simply put, I don't play those games.

Why? Holding my breath for longer than my body wants me to is not in any way enjoyable. What do people get out of such an absurd activity? Weren't TV and the Internet invented so we never had to suffer through such pointless recreation? Even without modern entertainment, I would gladly choose boredom over self-imposed lung agony. Holding your breath kills brain cells too.

Games I don't play:

1. Holding my breath for a competition or even just a personal challenge

2. Pinching people on St. Patrick's Day. (This is fine in theory, except that pinching is the cruelest possible form of human torture imaginable. The pain seems minimal and temporary initially but it grows exponentially. YOWCH, the lingering sting of a pinch makes me SO angry. So, green or no green, have no fear. I don't play those games because the world doesn't need any more violence and suffering).

3. The mystery shoulder tap. (UGH. COME ON. When someone sneakily taps you on the shoulder but is not there when you turn to look at them it is not funny AND a complete waste of a head turn. I am not an owl- turning my head isn't all peaches and gravy for me. It takes a fair bit of energy! There's always the risk of twisting it too fast so that bizarre/horrendous/hot discomfort shoots up your neck. It's like--CONGRATULATIONS, you've tricked me. I feel like a fool. A fool with a sore neck).

4. "Chicken Fights" in a swimming pool. (You know, when two girls get on two boys' shoulders and swat at each other until someone falls off. My refusal to play this game is threefold. First, plopping my scantily-clad arse onto some guy's shoulders so that both him and I can secretly wish I was 30 pounds lighter doesn't sound good for the ego. Secondly, clawing at a fellow female for the amusement of the enemy gender is just wrong. AND third, what if I fall off, my swimsuit gunders slide down accidentally, I hit my head on the side of the pool, my head cracks open, I lose a lot of blood, and I die?!?! Not my idea of a good time).

5. No Food/Drink Rules. (I ate an orange on the fifth floor of the library the other day. Sue me. What if I had low blood sugar? I could be a hypoglycemic or a diabetic for God sakes. Or what, pray tell, if I am just HUNGRY. I am 23 years old, I promise not to make a mess. I won't bring some stinky curry dish into the library and slurp it up loudly. Can't I be trusted to eat an orange, or a little chunk of dark chocolate, or a few Scottish oat cakes?).

Games I do play:

1. Don't move for anyone game. (This one is particularly fun when walking down the Royal Mile).
2. Would You Rather
3. The Cliff Game
4. Let's go around in a circle and say what we like best about each other and what we like LEAST. HAHA!
5. Safety/Doorknob
6. SHOTGUN!
7. TapTap Place Back
8. The License Plate Game
9. Slugbug
10. Prank Calls
11. Dance-offs
12. Make Your Ugliest Face
13. Wearing My Seat Belt
14. Thumb Wars
15. Returning My Shopping Cart

Did this post make sense? I don't really think so but I think it might not matter.

Love,

Margaret

Brrrrrr! It's blog in here...

2009-11-30T02:28:00.000-08:00

DON'T SAY A THING.

I have to live with the guilt, and that should be good enough for you. Let's just look beyond this with hope and enthusiasm for a bloggerific future.

Well, it's officially cold here in Edinburgh. Actually, it has been cold for weeks now but only recently have people stopped fighting it. The usually fashionable inhabitants of this magical town have swapped their TopShop trenches for long, tubular, down jackets that look like giant vinyl oven mitts with head and arm holes. Hail, freezing rain, and pathetic wet snow (maybe?) pelt the cobblestones with incredible, wind-powered velocity.

In Seattle, on the day after a storm, the streets are littered with fallen branches and capsized garbage cans. Here in Edinburgh it's deformed umbrellas and collapsed postcard stands.

OK, now that I've gotten past the awkward haven't-blogged-in-ages elephant in the room with a little small talk about the weather (Always a good "ice breaker." HAHAHA), let's get down to the real juicy biznass.

My weekend:

MARY came from Paris for a Thanksgiving feast! She brought along some real French baguettes, for which I am very very thankful. Also on the menu...WHEAT THINS. My favorite cousin (Yes, you read that right. It's a rolling application process though, so all you cousins out there still have a chance to fill the position) found the delicious, American, crackers at a shop in France and bought them along in true Padden Fam fashion. Char and William made a pumpkin pie. It was square, but it was the best p-pie I've ever tasted. Hands down. So good. Ha- I am emailing her right now and telling her to make another one.

Mary and I made rice krispie treats for the gang. They called them "rice krispie cakes", which was cute. We didn't correct them. We just smiled and nodded sweetly while exchanging knowing glances with each other.

Char, Mary and I climbed up the Sir Walter Scott monument for some fantastic, foggy, Edinburgh views. Check out the picture of me on the stairs- one of the best pics I've ever taken!!

On the Sunday that Mary had to leave we enjoyed a quick romp around the Edinburgh Castle. It was SO WINDY and FREEZING. But fun.

Twas a grand weekend. Loverboy really had it right when they concluded that "everybody's working for the weekend." Truer words have never been spoken. Now that it's over and another daunting week stretches out before me, knowledge of the absolute, certain existence of an upcoming Saturday/Sunday combo is what gets me through. Huzzah!

Wow, it's been a while and I forgot how exhausting this is. Allow me to leave you with that brief blog and a promise to update more frequently as the goose gets fatter and the old man's hat more penny-filled.

Beannachd leat,

Margaret

I sure know how to pick 'em- blog topics, that is! And blog titles too, apparently.

2009-10-29T14:32:00.000-07:00

For the past two days I've been groovin' to "Pick Up the Pieces" by Average White Band. It truly is one of the greatest diddies of all time. Listen to it. I dare you not to snap your fingers.

Pick Up The Pieces - Average W...

Freddy Nietzsche once said "all truly great thoughts are conceived by walking" and I am inclined to agree. The mind, like the legs trotting beneath it, often wanders to places of unexpected amusement. Want proof? Well, I was listening to the aforementioned "Pick Up the Pieces" on one of my many, daily saunters through Edinburgh when a series of groovy thoughts came upon me.

1. "Pick-up" games of basketball (or any sport for that matter) are so cool and under appreciated. For all those nay-saying, Internet haters who claim we've become detached, self-imposed isolationists; go watch a pick-up game of basketball in the park. It's beautiful.

2. Of all the mean tricks that prey on innocent children, 52-card "pick-up" is one of the cruelest. As a youngest child, I was always the victim of this evil game and never the administrator. This upset me back then and upsets me currently.

3. "Pick-up" lines are often joked about, but rarely used. For the most part, people just make normal small talk. Actually, mocking lame pick-up lines has become a pick-up line itself- so much so that I think it's a very dull, predictable, topic adored by unfunny people. What happened to the creativity of yesteryear such as this:

4. At the bagel shop people would call in orders for "pick-up", but in Edinburgh people would call that "take-away." Which is better? I think "pick-up" is more upbeat. U-S-A. U-S-A. U-S-A!!!

5. Pickup trucks are the best vehicles. They are! Stop thinking about gas for one second and agree with me. Not convinced? Watch an episode of "Friday Night Lights" and get back to me.

Blogness monster,

Madge

P.S. Googling "quotes about" then whatever it is you need a quote about has always ended successfully for me.

Edinblog

2009-10-26T04:09:00.000-07:00

Cheers,

Margaret and Laura

You can't help but love...

2009-10-25T17:37:00.000-07:00

John Stamos

Egg McMuffins

Volkswagons

Facebook

Borat

"Don't Stop Believin"/"Sweet Caroline"/"Livin on a Prayer"/"Sweet Child of Mine"

Keeping Up with the Kardashians

Picking Your Nose

Starbucks's Christmas Decor

Judge Judy

Doing the "Robot"

Fabric Stores

Infomercials

The Salem Witch Trials

peace,

Margaret

Re: Revenge

2009-10-22T18:24:00.000-07:00

My Mom once told me, "The only way you'll truly feel better is to get revenge."

I must add, she uttered this brilliant assertion while placing a serrated kitchen knife in my small, 11-year-old hand.

The neighbor told me I couldn't climb "his" tree. Something about liability. I was devestated.

"Go slash his tires," she said.

I didn't do it, but would she have stopped me if I had? One might guess her behavior was just some radical parenting tactic- that she was encouraging bad behavior to test my moral decision-making skills.

Not the case.

She actually thought I should slash the neighbor's tires and relish the sweet, toothsome, taste of revenge.

Though revenge can, and usually does, make a situation worse, at times it is appropriate. Perhaps it is not appropriate in the ethical sense, but simply because it's the only possible source of solace in a particular moment. Such moments are so muddled with emotion that a minor outburst of retaliation is suitable.

Haha. Awww, I want it to be Christmas.

Goodnight,

Madge

I am the fox-wisperer

2009-10-16T06:04:00.000-07:00

OMG.

Last night Margot, Laura (Edinburgh friends) and I spontaneously traversed a Scottish hillside seeking adventure and exercise. Just three lively post-grad gals looking to reconnect with nature, ya know? HA. It was also a good opportunity to showcase our hiking-chic look.

Once we reached the top we sat down to enjoy the beaUtiful, twinkly, Edinburgh skyline. Instinctively, I led them in a guided meditation to find their spirit animals. That's just what you do when it's nighttime and you're outdoors and you have exhausted every possible would-you-rather question. Camp was a spirit-animal menagerie this Summer, thanks to Jenny's earthy hypnosis skills. Thus, I felt qualified to assist Margot and Laura in their hunt for their creaturely companion.

In the end, Laura discovered hers to be a short-haired, shiny, chestnut brown mare. Margot's was a fox. Mine, for anyone who cares, is a mountain goat.

Here's where the story becomes blog-worthy.

On the walk back down the ridge, a FOX leaped into the path from behind a bush! AHHHHH!!!

It was black. It had ears. It snarled its teeth at us.

We froze, screamed and desperately tried to move our trembling legs back up the hillside.

Eventually, we made it home in one piece (well, three pieces I suppose), but the nerves have been forever rattled. FOXES. ARE. SCARY.

Love,

Margaret

P.S. I forgot to include the thesis point in all this-- I CAN CONJURE UP FOXES WITH MY MIND.

(From a different night, obviously. But that's Laura on MY right- YOUR left. And Margot's on MY left- YOUR right.)

A-Team: Engaged!

2009-10-10T01:32:00.000-07:00

My big sis, Anna, and her long-time steady, Alex, got engaged yesterday!!

They are the best. I am SO thrilled for both of them.

Alex- you're going to be my brother-in-law!

Here's a pic of the ring (so lovely):

LOVE,

Margaret

A tale of two tales...

2009-10-08T16:54:00.000-07:00

I saw an anorexic today. I was at the gym on the treadmill when she passed in front of me on her way to the weight room (such irony in that last phrase). Most people with eating disorders simply fall into the "weird about food" category, but it's not often that you actually see an anorexic in the flesh (in the bone??). It's SAD. She feverishly did a set crunches and in the blur of limbs I couldn't tell her legs from her arms!

Oh- I have ANOTHER reason why we should all hate cigarettes. Get this- I was walking home from the grocery store, eating my granola-bar-lunch, dodging people and j-walking to stay on schedule when the most heinous experience of my life occurred. The ASH from a middle-aged woman's cigarette blew onto my granola bar and I ATE IT!!!! She was waiting for the bus and just as I walked by a gust of Edinburgh wind carried the hot piece of charred tobacco up and onto my cranberry oat bar. It all happened so fast. GAG.

Miss y'all,

Madge

Loony Moon

2009-10-05T05:11:00.000-07:00

I could not sleep last night. Finally, at 3 AM I gave up, got out of bed and ate a chunk of Scottish shortbread.

At first there was no clear explanation for my insomnia. I had enjoyed an active day of running, walking, eating, tv-watching...the yuge. Sleep should have been easy.

This morning, however, I had an inkling that Mother Nature had something to do with it. AND YES, duh, I was right! Last night was a FULL MOON. Sign, sealed, googled, I'm yours.

Time for a nap,

Madge

Great Scot!

2009-09-28T13:48:00.001-07:00

Ok, time to take a well-earned break from Aquinass's "Summa Theologiae" to blog for you wonderful people.

After my first week in Edinburgh I can safely say, in the words of Fedde Le Grand- I love this city!

(...And for those of you that didn't catch that reference, I was alluding to the stupendous techno song "Put Your Hands Up For Detroit", where they're actually saying "A lovely city" or "Our lovely city" but everyone who's anyone just sings "I love this city...")

Funny things about Edinburgh (first installment):

1.Every homeless person has a dog. Haven't spotted a dogless one yet.

2. It's haunted and everyone knows it--accepts it as part of the scenery. People are much more likely to complain about the weather than the ghosts (who are everywhere...you can FEEL their presence and I swear I can SMELL them...oooooooohhhhhweeeeeee).

3. "Hill-walking" is a hobby.

4. My flat was built in 1690

5. Oatmeal= Porridge (more or less)

Line=Queue

Steamed milk= Hot milk

washing-up= doing the dishes? (still not sure about this one)

trainers= tennis shoes

Things I've googled today:

"emotional after period"

"define: telos"

"calories in a poached egg"

"goat's milk"

"word count"

"watch Mad Men"

SIGHHH. When am I going to de-facebook-friend all of last season's bachelors from "The Bachelorette" who I hastily friend-requested after the "Men Tell All" episode. Now they are monopolizing my news feed. It's tiresome.

Yikes...everything I have written until this point in the post was from LAST WEEK and I just never got around to publishing it. I've said it before, but it's worth repeating- Cyprus ruined me. Once the Mediterranean culture settles in your bones it never really leaves.

OH MY LORD. I just googled image searched "Aquinas" and look what popped up! Poor guy. Do we really know he looked like that? Who decides what pre-camera people are supposed to look like? Or is there a preserved sketch from way back when? Is that hair fo real????

Cheers,

Margaret

Check out my flat!

2009-09-22T08:05:00.000-07:00

Remembering Brian

2009-06-27T13:47:00.000-07:00

My friend Brian Bradshaw died in Afghanistan on Thursday.

Brian was such a uniquely authentic person. He brought himself 100 percent to everything he did. I worked with him at summer camp for 4 years. His humor and sense of adventure was contagious.

Despite his busy schedule, he always made an enormous effort to show up at camp gatherings, or volunteer a few sessions or facebook chat with his friends. His sarcasm and in-your-face energy never stopped him from letting his friends know he cared about them. I've always thought of him as a protector- someone I would want with me if I was stranded on a dessert island needing to survive. It kills me to think of how scary it must have been for him over there.

My heart breaks for his family.

In a few days everyone from camp is gathering for staff training and I look forward to sharing our stories about Brian. We'll make sure to keep him in our thoughts throughout the summer and spread his message of love to the campers.

I'll miss you Brian!

Hiatus: Over (for now)

2009-06-17T18:28:00.000-07:00

Holler, friends!

It's been a while since I've done a legit post. For old time's sake, let's start things off with a list.

Top 5 activities to improve your mood (btw, wtf is up with this shirt? I think that's a llama but it seems irrelevant to the rest of the shirt...):

1. Take a shower: The steam goes up the nose, clears the sinuses and lifts the brain up just a bit. After a shower, I always look SO MUCH BETTER. Even if I didn't look "dirty" before, the memory of my pre-shower self suddenly becomes caked in filth. My face looks like I could be in a clean&clear&undercontrol commercial. My hair smells like cupcakes.

2. Listen to music: This could mean downloading your favorite new song from iTunes (treat yourself!), pillaging through your playlist for an oldie but a goodie, or perhaps just letting the shuffle take over. Once a worthy track hits your ears, snap those fingas and DANCE!

3. Exercise: No new news here. Whether it's walking, running, jump roping, galloping, or doing high-kicks in your room as discretely as possible while trying not to make grunting noises, exercise is a mood enhancer. Endorphins are the new meth.

4. Take a nap: Maybe you're in a bad mood because you're sleepy. I often have to FORCE myself to take a nap, but it's well worth it. Even if you're still in a bad mood when you wake up, you at least cut out an hour or so of bad-mood time.

5. Buy someone a present: If you can't seem to make yourself happy, switch your focus on someone else. Scrounge up some change and buy a treat for a friend. Surprise them.

Next on the agenda: "The most dramatic rose ceremony in Bachelorette history!!!!"

Have you ever noticed that ABC can ceaselessly reuse this line in their promos by simply replacing either the words "dramatic" or "rose-ceremony"?

For example, they might say: "Next week, stay tuned for the most grotesque rose ceremony in Bachelorette history!!!"

Or, they might say: "Next week, stay tuned for the most dramatic one-on-one date in Bachelorette history!!!"

Jillian is the new Bachelorette and she's a mess. I wish I could be trendy and say she's a "hot mess", but she's not even hot and I'm actually over the phrase "hot mess".

"Jilly" has a wardrobe that I'd give my right femur for, but I wouldn't wish her camel face on my worst frenemy. She was so endearing as third runner up on last seasons "The Bachelor", so what's changed? Who knows. Maybe she just seemed great compared to Molly and Melissa AND JASON (UGH). Anyway, she gets hammered in almost every episode (don't THINK we can't tell!) and talks like she has gum under her upper lip.

Ab Nelson (cousin) has had us over every Monday night to eat hummus and watch the Canadian camel-face drink, cry, receive spin-hugs and bequeath camel-kisses to the masses. Her friends are huge Bachelor/Bachelorette fans and it's truly my favorite night of the week.

That's all for now, folks. I've got my last two days at the PUD, then back to K-town for two nights, then off to camp for staff training! THENNNN, Edinburgh! Still filling out a shize-load of paper work, but it will all be worth it. Can't wait!

Live long and prosper,

Margaret

The macbook is warm on my thighs...

2009-06-04T19:33:00.000-07:00

Your honorary couve-rat,

Margaret

Here it is again...

2009-05-30T22:39:00.001-07:00

DS500012_3.WMA

Remember, this is just a bare-bones recording to see if it works.

Love ya,

Madge

First Podcast! I have a lot to learn!

2009-05-27T18:10:00.000-07:00

This is a test!

shiza- doesn't work. i think i need to figure a few more things out.....working on it!

Don't Fence Me In

2009-04-20T22:30:00.000-07:00

Is this a blog of personal reflections? Is it a pop-culture blog? Is it philosophical? Is it funny? Is it interesting? Is it just confused?

Perhaps at times it is all of these things, but I am OK with that. Cohesiveness has its place (scrapbooking, powerpoint presentations, runway shows, "real"/professional blogs...etc.), and it ain't here.

So don't put Madgespace in a box. It is, in its very essence, a hodge podge.

See, now that made me think of Modge Podge, the crafting goo. A professional blogger may let that thought pass and move onto a meaningful subject, but not me.

Modge Podge adheres photographs onto objects and makes them glossy. My family went through about a year-long obsession with the stuff.

It's actually "Mod Podge", but for some reason we always refered to it as Modge Podge. Proper pronunciation is not a Padden/Kay family strong suit. We say "pin" when we mean "pen" and we overemphasize the "oh" sound in words like bowling, swollen and gorgonzola. My college friends call it the "Kenmore accent."

Anyway, Modge Podge dominated the birthday present scene for a good while in our house. Cut up some photos, schlop them onto the side of an old picture frame, candle holder, or slab of wood from the garage, smear on a heavy coat of Modge Podge and viola- you've got yourself a homemade, heartfelt, gift.

Next topic: Flossing and Life-Span

I just found out that people who floss daily live longer lives than non-flossers. Ever since my parasitic crisis, I've been determined to be a HEALTHY person. I want to live a long time and have soft, radiant skin, strong bones and a lot of great grandchildren. When I'm 80 I want to wake up in the morning with joyful energy. If flossing is one step toward that future, then hand over the floss!

Ihre Gesundheit,

Madge

Blogging vs. the Real World

2009-04-13T22:04:00.000-07:00

If you think this is ridiculous...

Then check out this...

Easter was magnificent. I slept in, ate a lot of mangoes, hung out with the fam and jump roped in the family room while watching a "Rob&Big" marathon on TV. What more could ya ask for?

OMG- So, earlier tonight at the airport I was going through security and they had to pull aside my carry on bag for further investigation. Instantly I KNEW it was because I had a half-full tub of almond butter in there that probably counted as a "liquid" or perhaps a "gel." They ended up letting me keep it (thank god), BUT, in his search for the delicious contraband, the man unzipped the small, top pouch where all my dirty gunders from the weekend were stuffed!

As if it wasn't humiliating enough, he had the nerve to chuckle and say "Those are all clean, right?"

Ha. Ha. Ha.

I managed to choke out a fake laugh and say, "oh yeah, of course" despite being mortified! I mean, is there not some sort of FAA rule prohibiting such invasive questions? Aren't security personal supposed to be serious and humorless?

Ok, move over Octo-Mom! The hot story everyone's talkin' about is now the rescue of a US navy captain from Somali pirates.

The pirates, combined with the mother/daughter Peep costumes, gave me an blog idea:

costumes vs. the real thing

Pirate:

Jack-o'-lantern:

Maid:

King Tut:

Bunny:

Grapes:

Cow:

I graduate in about 3 weeks. I am about to be a COLLEGE GRADUATE. In the words of Ab Nelson, how very bizarre.

Peace,

Madge

P.S. I turned in a stool sample to the lab today. I am not confident in the "product" that I "produced," and I fear it will return negative.

P.P.S. Speaking of The Real World, for anyone who watched this season (Brooklyn), how great is it that Ryan and Baya are dating? SO GREAT! Too bad he's back in Iraq. He and Chet are the sole reason this season was watchable.

Superfood, Super Deal!

2009-04-09T12:35:00.000-07:00

Hello,

Love,

Madge

SUN-day!

2009-04-05T13:34:00.000-07:00

The first day of real, warm, sunshine always makes me realize how miserable I've been all winter. During the last 5 months, anytime that I thought I was happy I was just kidding myself. I was faking it. Because this, my friends, is true happiness. FIFTY FIVE degrees, Manito Park, windows down in the mini-van, blue skies....BLISS.

Not only does the sun make me a happier person, but it makes me a more productive person too. Yesterday I clipped my fingernails- who does that???? Certainly not the winter version of myself. I even removed the nasty remnants of dark purple nail polish. With half of a bent bobbypin I scraped out the rotted gunk from under each nail. Who knows what kind of dirt, bacteria, parasite eggs, and boogers had been festering there all winter.

Then, after all that work, I still had the energy to throw in a load of laundry!

If this weather keeps up, I might just start my own catering business, or complete a 1000 piece puzzle, or vacuum.

Good day to ya,

Madge

Ayo Technology

2009-03-29T18:24:00.000-07:00

Today I used Twitter to read about what John Mayer, Martha Foley, Juliana DaPandi (yes, she will always be DaPandi to me!!! Sorry Mr. Rancic), Anna Kay, Jody Norwood, Rob Dyrdek, Taylor Swift and many others are up to.

Mayer's on a cruise. Martha's just finished her homework. Anna walked Oggie. Jody went on a 6-mile run in her new running shoes. Rob Dyrdek was hanging out with the cast of his upcoming movie. Taylor Swift went to her brother's induction into his high school's honor society.

Pretty amazing that I learned all that from one lil' website.

Next, I looked at some pictures a guy named Ahmed put up on Facebook. He worked at the hostel we stayed at in Cairo.

Also on Facebook I viewed every picture that Barbie and I were tagged in together since Freshman year. Memory Lane!

This morning I Skyped with Char and Francie and Bobby with our webcams. They were in Scotland and Ireland, I was in Spookaloo. I could see them, they could see me. I showed F & B the box that my new anti-parasite herbs came in. They had a good laugh.

Pretty soon (when I win the lottery) I am going to purchase a digital audio recorder so I can post interviews with various people on my blog. THAT will be groovy.

My point is: TECHNOLOGY IS WONDERFUL.

Then why do I get these urges to unplug my life and move into the forest? I dream about a quaint log cabin, next to a river and surrounded by humongous evergreens. Ohhhh the peacefulness!! The rushing sound of the river, a good book, candles, salmon cooked on a campfire, pungent pine needles everywhere! Maybe Walden was onto something.

I think I will do it at some point in my life. Except I will probably take my laptop and allow myself to use it one day a week. Or whenever I want to, but just not excessively. It would be a GREAT thing to blog about. Haaaaaha.

Slàinte,

Margaret

Rub-a-dub-dub, Thanks For the Snug, Yaaaaaaay God!

2009-03-29T09:53:00.000-07:00

Tweedley deedley deet. Tweedley deedley deet,

Madge

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

2009-03-26T12:02:00.000-07:00

Here are some of Mother Nina's favorite things:

Greenlake/Alki/Discovery Park:

Books:

Net Flix:

Tamari Almonds:

Brach's Candy Corn:

Warm wash cloth on the face:

HAVE A FAB DAY!

Love,

Madge

Belated!

2009-03-23T10:53:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BELATED 26th Birthday Char and Francie!

Yesterday I had the honor of skyping with two of the greatest birthday-gals on the planet, Char and Francie. They were enjoying their bdays in Edinburgh- going out to a cute Thai restaurant and staying up until 3:00 AM to watch Gonzaga win (also, Ireland won the Six Nations Grand Slam rugby tourney! Quite a big deal- first time in about 60 years or something like that).

In honor of my sistas, here are some of their favorite things:

CHAR

Ice Cream/Gilato/Frozen Yogurt/Ice Cream Bars

Cows

The Eagles

Earrings

SALTED popcorn and Salt & Vinegar Rice Cakes

Americas Next Top Model Marathons

FRANCIE

Cheese of all kinds (often melted)

Coffee!!

Booter

Crosswords

Carmex

Home & Away (Australian soap opera)

AND, the story doesn't end there, folks! It happened to also me MY half birthday yesterday! My dear parents surprised me with an amazing carepackage, which I plan to blog about later.

Now I have to go to class!

LOVE, madge

The Secret's Out

2009-03-17T18:33:00.000-07:00

One of my coworkers, Morgan, is reading "The Secret." As you probably already know, the book talks about the phenomenon of sending positive energy into the universe and receiving it back from the universe. For example, if you think to yourself "I am going to ace my math test", then you will do just that. If you think it, it will happen. Sound crazy? Well, I thought so too at first, but OPRAH says it works. So there ya go.

ANNNNNNNNNNNYway, this morning at work Morgan wrote herself a check (well, not a real check...a fake one made out of a rectangular cut of paper and with the usual check features penned in- name/address, "pay to the order of:", memo, date, signature...etc) of how much money she wants to have. The book says if she looks at the check everyday, believing as best she can that it actually already exists, then she will acquire that quantity of money somehow.

Now, I am not convinced by any means, but I will also try anything to get some extra cash (besides working for it and saving it). So I wrote myself a check.

Pay to the order of: Margaret Kay

Amount: 2,300

Memo: Edinburgh fund

And here's the kicker- I dated it for May 10th! A bit greedy, I know. But it would be great to have the money before graduation, so I can start sorting out my finances for next year. Perhaps it's asking too much of the Secret, but I can't linger on such negative thoughts. It will happen. It has already happened. I am a rich, rich, woman.

Goodbye print version of the Seattle PI, hello new internet-centered business model,

Madge

I Belong In a Nursing Home

2009-03-12T19:33:00.000-07:00

I take more pills than a 90 year old.

The best part of my day is Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune.

Standing in the shower requires too much energy, so I mainly take baths.

My mood is determined by my digestion.

I wear matching flannel PJs to bed every night, usually keeping my moccasins on and hugging a hot water bottle tightly.

My favorite foods are all hot and liquidy- tea, soup, applesauce. No chewing required!

Here is a picture of me and all my supplements (Flouridex, Cloves, Wormwood, Black Walnut Hull Extract, Magnesium, Cayenne/Garlic, Probiotics, Smooth Move tea, Liver-Care Detox tea, Fish Oil and a Multi!):

I took this picture with the mac book, so all of the lettering is backward. OH WELL.

TGIF tomorrow!

AHHHHHHHHHHHH. It's also Friday the 13th tomorrow! I just realized it! WATCH OUT!

LYMI,

Madge

"At-Home Workout"

2009-03-10T10:56:00.000-07:00

Have any of you ever attempted this?

It's cold outside, you know you need to exercise but the thought of a run or the gym is just too much. Solution: Making your own at-home workout.

For me, this is always a joke. It includes running in place while I watch reruns of the West Wing, throwing in a few jumping jacks and maybe a 20 second wall-sit. If I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror I will actually laugh out loud at the foolishness of the scene. Last year I would do my indoor workout in the living room! While my roommates where eating dinner! HA! How obnoxious! They'd be sitting there trying to watch Wheel of Fortune and I'd be behind the couch doing high knees! HAhaha. Anything to avoid actually opening the front door, stepping outside, and closing the door behind me.

I am going to go for a run (first one in a loooong time. yikes!) and then get a massage (thanks Mutti)!!

Dry hands,

Madge

BOTH are good.

2009-03-08T15:22:00.000-07:00

I was on the phone with my bro Max the other night and he was making crinkle fries with Anne. Yum, right? Wow, crinkle fries! It's been a while. He actually went to the store to get sweet potato fries, but couldn't find them so chose the crinkle instead. And ya know what? Both are good.

Here's my "BOTH ARE GOOD" list:

Sweet Potato Fries are good:

and so are Crinkle Fries that you make yourself on a sheet tray in the oven:

Nintendo Wii is fun:

and so is Nintendo 64, especially Bond and Mario Kart:

Peanut Butter is delicious:

and Almond Butter is too:

you know I love the Badger Balm:

and you can't go wrong with Lip Smackers:

I love a really dark chocolate bar:

but Snickers are still delicious as ever:

hanging paper Star Lamps are a good decoration:

and so are Glow-in-the-dark Ceiling Stars:

Why choose?

Blogfully yours,

Madge

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANNA JANE KAY!

2009-03-07T16:12:00.000-08:00

In honor of Anna's 28 years on earth, here are some of her favorite things:

AMERICANO W/ A LITTLE STEAMED SOY FOAM:

WALKING GREENLAKE:

KITKATS:

MEET ME IN ST.LOUS:

CUTE KNIT HATS:

ORANGES:

PODCASTS:

RUBBING HER EYES:

Happy Birthday Sista!

Love,

Madge

A whole new can of worms...

2009-03-07T15:50:00.000-08:00

NEWS FLASH!

As you know, I have been struggling with digestion issues since last February (over a year ago!). While sunbathing in Palm Springs, Martha Foley and Albee Dalbotten read in a Ladies Home Journal that bloating can be caused by parasitic infections. Being at the end of my rope, I decided to google it just in case. There are many types of parasites, often consumed by bad drinking water or unwashed produce. People get them when they travel to foreign countries. They can cause a lot of different problems in your gut, and other stuff too- even slowing down your thyroid. Their favorite foods are alcohol, caffeine, wheat and dairy. Hmmm...could this be the missing puzzle piece?

So, I thought "why not?" and started a "parasitic cleanse".......and I think it's working. I am feeling better and I have seen some stuff in my shize that resembles "eggs" and maybe parts of some sort of worm.

That's all the detail I will go into, in case there are children reading. But let me assure you, I'm on the case! Hopefully I'll get an doc appointment for some time next week so a final diagnosis can be made. Then, who knows if I will stick to the naturopathic method (three types of herbs, three times a day. Raw food diet of nuts, seeds, fruits, vegetables and legumes) or if the doc can give me something stronger. I WANT THEM OUT! I am very excited to start feeling better without fear of feeling bad again in a few days.

Remember when Voldemort was living as a parasite in Professor Quirrell's body? It SICKENS me to think that I am someone's "Quirrell". DIGUSTS ME!

Until next time,

Madge

FAT Tuesday is right!

2009-02-24T18:57:00.000-08:00

First and foremost, thank you to all who participated in my picto-puzzles! The answers are as follows:

"pot calling the kettle black"

Capricorn

John Locke (....from LOST- Not the philosopher)

pillow

There ya have it. I threw in an old saying, an astrological sign, a character from a TV show, and a common household object.

Congrats to Char who had the most correct answers! Char, you win a puffy envelope full of seranwrapped rice crispie treats- coming your way soon! And because I feel bad going to the post office and shipping something off to Scotland but sending nothing to Ireland, Francie, you get some too. AND, now that I've blogged it, I must do it. So the odds that you two will actually receive rice crispie treats are pretty decent.

My mother gets an honorable mention for her response (now one of my favorite blog comments EVER): "Struck out except if I removed the phone I got panty."

Mom, for your response you will receive a fun ecard from me some time this month. Yes, I realize the prize dropped significantly in value from first-place to honorable mention. Deal.

Here's something to think about: What's on your "bookmarks bar"? Ya know, the tabs up at the top of your browser window that you have programmed in, making your favorite websites just one click away. I am not sure, but perhaps one's bookmarks bar and the order of bookmarked websites listed on it says a lil' something about who they are.

Here's mine: Madgespace, Facebook, Gonzaga email, Dlisted, University of Edinburgh application page, Yahoo mail, YouTube, Wikipedia.

Today is "Fat Tuesday." That means Lent starts tomorrow (Ash Wednesday). I am giving up coffee and gum.

Of course, I am doing so for completely selfish reasons. I want to rid myself of the caffeine addiction and artifical sweetened gum that is reeking havoc on my digestive system. It has NOTHING to do with having a better understanding of what Jesus sacrificed for us. I mean, it's ridiculous to think that cutting carbs or sweets really compares to being nailed to a cross. Doesn't it seem insulting to the J-man? HA! Since when is this blog a forum for religious debate? SINCE NOW! I am going to the University of Edinburgh School of Divinity in the fall. Time to start thinkin' biblically!

Jai Ho,

Madge

"This is my sorry for 2004.." -Ruben Studdard

2009-02-19T22:37:00.000-08:00

OMG, I AM SO SORRY!!!

Why (as if you have to ask)?

I forgot to put "Colors of the Wind" (Pocahontas soundtrack) on the greatest-songs-of-all-time list that I posted a few blogs back. AHHHH!

MY BAD!

Last weekend, on our way to Whitefish, MT in Barbie's mini-van, we listened to it on full-blast and sang our lil' Native American (I wish) hearts out. Man, what a fantastic song.

Here we are (minus Isabel who was skiing) at Glacier National Park:

Carrie, Meghan, Julie, Jamie, Me, Barbie

Here are the things that have been CONSUMING my mind as of late:

Rihanna/Chris Brown

Angry Chimp Attack

bangs vs. side bangs vs. growing my bangs out

School work/procrastination & panic

FINANCES for my year in Edinburgh

Top Chef/Real Housewives of OC/Real World Brooklyn/The City/LOST

Stimulus Package

Gallagher Summer 2009 menu

Cleaning my FILTHY room

The Middle East

Dental care

Missing my family

Mental/Physical health

Sun/Vitamin D

Milk

There really is not much new around these parts. This is why I haven't blogged in eons. Nothing to say that you haven't already read on dlisted or overheard from the people behind you in line at Starbucks. Blah blah blah, Ken Griffey Jr. is back on the Mariners. Blah blah blah, Chris Brown should go to jail. Blah blah blah, chewing gum is bad for digestion. WHAT ELSE IS NEW?!?

Let's play a game! Put these pictures together to form a word/phrase/person!

FIRST:

= ?

SECOND:

THIRD:

FOURTH:

Answers to be revealed in the next post! Good luck!

I love cinnamon bears,

Madge

P.S.
I really do love them. Anyone who is bored and looking to do his/her good deed for the day, feel free to mail me some cinnamon bears. Text me for my address. Or text Clare and ask her for it if you want to keep it a surprise. Thank you in advance.

Vlog whatchyo mamma gave ya!

2009-02-05T17:51:00.000-08:00

Make it a great day,

Madge

P.S.

Separated at birth?

ILL. By the way, I hate how uppercase "i"s (I) look exactly like lowercase "L"s (l)

2009-02-03T21:44:00.000-08:00

Yet again, I am ill. I think it's an under-active thyroid, but I am not going to say anything further because it's obvious that I talk about it too much. I KNOW I talk about it too much. UGH. The plan is to keep on chattin' w/ the naturopath and refusing to give up until I feel like myself again. Nuff said.

Turning the focus away from meself...I want to post this reflection I just wrote for my community journalism class. We had to write about our experience volunteering at a homeless shelter (which I will be doing every friday this semester).

Mainly, I don't have anything else to blog about. Can't muster up the strength.

Here it is:

   Volunteering at a "homeless shelter" for the first time is supposed to be a little uncomfortable. It's perfectly normal to be nervous. It's natural for the men to be be closed-off and cold as we load their trays with oily lunch meat, wilted lettuce and hopeless pieces of stale white bread. It's OK to be slightly shocked by the unfamiliar, dirty smell of the place- like in a nursing home, it takes some getting used to. The sounds of throaty coughing, vulgar language and sloppy chewing may offend a first-time volunteer and that's perfectly understandable. The sad faces that cloud the dining hall with despair may be the hardest thing for a volunteer to cope with. But these people still need nourishment, shelter, and the occasional smile to get the from one day to the next. For that reason, volunteering is worth it.
   This was the pep-talk I gave myself two Fridays ago as I ran across Trent and into the parking lot of The Union Gospel Mission. To my surprise, it was completely useless. None of those words of self-wisdom applied. Not only were my predictions of the sights, sounds and smells way off, but I was also completely wrong to assume such discomfort and uneasiness on my end. Instead, I was left with a feeling of realness (stepping off campus at all usually helps with this) and a raw perspective into the other gender.
   I was entirely comfortable from the time I entered the mission until the time I left. When I returned the following Friday, when we would actually be serving lunch for the first time, I felt even more at ease than I did during the tour. The men were not sad and discouraging. They were laughing, chatting- smiling. The placed didn't smell bad. Actually, it smelled good. Like barbeque!
   Though I was at ease serving pulled-pork sandwiches to the variety of unique, interesting faces, I couldn't ignore a heaviness settling right below my sternum. It was a weird blend of joy and sadness, similar to how I feel after attending a really well-done funeral. I think the feeling comes from being happy when the bigger picture is sad- or maybe it's the opposite- being sad when the bigger picture is actually happy. Whatever it was, it settled right below my sternum, liquifying my eyes for a brief moment and forcing their lids to muscle a few extra-rapid blinks of fortitude.
   I could see my Dad in a lot of the men- and my Brother, my Grandpa and my male Cousins too. They were all there- humbled by homelessness, the ultimate social failure. All I could think of was men and their deeply ensconced pride. It might not always be easy, but women are allowed to ask for help. Women are allowed to have moments of weakness. Women are often encouraged to be vulnerable for the sake of compassion and love. The privilege of fragility is not an option for men, despite it being a natural human quality. This idea struck me intensely. Most men must continually fend off their own humanity. That nagging, tugging twinge of tenderness that all humans experience must be ignored and covered up with manliness. I wondered what our world would be like if men did not constantly silence themselves with pride.

Ya feel me?

Madge

Throw another VLOG on the fire...

2009-02-01T15:13:00.001-08:00

Who let the dogs out? who? who who? who WHO?

Let's get ready to rumblllllllllllle (you ready for this), dun dun dundundundundun....

clapclap clapclapclap clapclapclapclap LETS GO!

Sorry.... I just had to get that out of my system. Big sporting events always bring out the yell-king in me.

Who's doing the halftime show? I don't even know!!

Best,

Madge

Joy! Joy! Joy!

2009-01-29T18:12:00.000-08:00

Shut up. I don't want to hear it. I'm not a blog factory here people. Be thankful for what you get.

Ok, I'm sorry. SORRRRYYY. Forgive me. I'm been.....................eh, busy?

"Joy, Joy, Joy" was the name of a song on a children's music cassette tape that me and the sibs went absolutely APE for. It wasn't the "single" track (that was titled "Backward's Land"), but it was pretty dern good for a b-side.

When I have kids they are listening to children's music and only children's music until they're at least 9. AND NOT the "Kids Bop" remakes of top40 songs. No way. I'm talkin Raffi, Backwards Land, and some more Raffi. I'm not sure why I feel so strongly about this, but I think it's because it was how I was raised and I obviously turned out wonderfully.

I thought "JOY" would be a good topic for today's post because I experienced it multiple times today. After I was finished with aerobics, after I was finished with yoga, and while I kneaded homemade pizza dough (it's rising now...oooohweee!).

Did you have any moments today where you felt joyful?

Also, the word "JOY" popped into my head because Barbie tried to use it as a verb (JOYING) when we were playing Scategories the other day. Her explanation: "Ya know, when you're wiping things down in the kitchen with Joy dish-soap...you're in the act of "joying." I can't remember what the category was, but needless to say, "joying" got a big thumbs down from everyone.

Hmm...which Joy label/bottle do you prefer?

I left my rolling pin in Pullman a year or so ago, so I think I'm going to have to roll out the dough with a mug or something.....or can I just throw it in the air pizzaria-style? I think that will work as long as I exclaim "Mamma Mia!!! A-pepperoni-pizzzzza!!" in a thick Italian accent while I toss it.

Love y'alls,

Madgey

Fact or Fiction?

2009-01-20T21:53:00.000-08:00

It's time to settle things once and for all. To confirm what's truth and what's just an old wives tale. I've discovered snopes.com, which verifies or refutes almost every myth you've ever heard. I've determined it's a credible enough site for Madgespace because it was the first site to pop up on google and it just looks somewhat professionally done.

CLAIMS:

Shaved hair grows back darker and/or thicker

If you try to sneeze with your eyes open, they will pop out

It takes seven years for swallowed gum to pass through the digestive system

Coca-cola used to contain cocaine

ANSWERS:

false (nope. I know people think this is just a myth but I would beg them to come look at my toes and belly button. I mistakenly shaved both areas ONE TIME and ever since it's a sea of heinous, corse black hair. Confirming this phenomenon as a "myth" is just another myth itself! oh woe is me.)

false (ow. ow ow ow OUCH. I don't care if this is true or false because to attempt it would be PAINFUL)

false (though with my current condition I doubt it'd make its way out at all!!)

true, and it wasn't cocaine-free until 1929! (doesn't surprise me...just a bit further back in the day they used to drill holes in peoples' heads to relieve headaches. times were different)

There ya have it! Hope that clears things up.

Dark chocolate is now officially tied with back massages as the BEST THING EVAARRRR,

Madge

Guten Tag

2009-01-20T20:52:00.000-08:00

Today was about as perfect as a non-cyprus, freezing cold, have-to-go-to-school, spokane weekday can get.

I didn't have to work so I was able to watch the inauguration this morning. I set my alarm for 7, got out of bed slowly and wandered down to the kitchen to make a cup of tea and some oatmeal. I used the extra boiling water from the kettle for my hot water bottle, which I held onto in one hand at the very tip top so it wouldn't burn me. In the other hand I held my mug of tea and my mug of oatmeal (I only eat out of bowls and mugs. Never plates- they don't keep food hot enough and they increase the likelihood of horrendous utensil scraping noises). Then I bundled up in a couple of fleece blankets in Barbie's bed (she was at the bagel shop working and I don't have a TV in my room), stretched my legs out, cracked my toes and relished in the relaxation of continuous news broadcasting.

Next time I am feeling stressed, I should turn on CNN and zone out as the reporters earn their living by beating a dead horse, describing it in historic terms, rephrasing it for those just tuning in, holding a panel discussion on it, and airing replays of it over and over and over. There's something so soothing about 24 hour news channels.

Obama's speech was good. Michelle's dress was classy. The kids were super cute. And the crowd was miraculous. So so so many people, all gathered in the cold to see the fruits of their vote and share in such instant change- from Bush to Obama. You couldn't find a better example of change than that.

After the speech and about another hour of dead-horse-beating by the news anchors, my stomach had a warm, red splotch from the hot water bottle and my legs were falling asleep so I figured I'd better get up and move around. Clare and I went to our aerobics and yoga classes. Then Martha and I went to "do hood rat stuff", which was difficult because of the cold and turned into buying tea at Tesoro, chit-chatting with Isabel at her house and wandering the aisles of Safeway.

And the best is yet to come! The Real Housewives of Orange County starts in ten minutes!!

May the force be with you,

Madge

Welcome Home!

2009-01-20T07:44:00.001-08:00

Here is a picture of the main entrance into the White House...the new home of Barack, Michelle, Sasha and Malia Obama.

I am sitting in Barbie's bed upstairs, eating walnuts, drinking tea, swaddled in blankets with a hot water bottle resting on my gut and watching our new president get sworn into office. It really is incredible and exciting.

Hope/Change/OBAMA,

Madge

Breaking the Law of Attraction

2009-01-13T12:47:00.000-08:00

Did you notice I changed the quote in the header? I'm going to switch the quote around every so often just you keep you on your toes.

I asked my friends the other day, "Who do you think is unconventionally attractive (it can be a celeb if you can't think of a 'real' person)?" And by "unconventional" I simply mean they are not obviously attractive- they aren't known for their good looks.

Barbie's answer: -you guessed it- Uncle Joey Gladstone.

Isabel's answer: Anthony Bourdain from the Travel Channel show "No Reservations"

I didn't ask Martha, but she often strays from the norms of conventional beauty when seeking a celeb crush. Her stipulations include, big nose, pale skin, scrawny physique.... basically, she prefers the "weak and sickly" look. Believe it or not, this look can actually work for some people. Michael Cera, for example.

Who do you find unconventionally attractive?

I can't think of anyone right now. It's not that there aren't a lot of weirdly cute people out there...but off the top of my head none are coming to mind. This could be because I am distracted by the INSANELY loud conversation the people next to me are having. I am in a study area/coffee/hangout place on campus where I come to blog, eavesdrop, and read the latest New Yorker mag. Pretty soon I am going to head to aerobics and yoga with Clare. Hopefully the classes are challenging enough and not too crowded. And hopefully I don't fart.

The Real Housewives of Orange County is on tonight. I think this has been the best season so far because the two new housewives are NOT meshing well with the preexisting housewives. I've been watching this show since season 1, so I feel like I know them all. It's great.

Ta,

Madge

"I'm that star up in the sky, I'm that mountain peak up high, hey I made it, I'm the world's greatest..."

2009-01-12T18:12:00.000-08:00

First of all, I got accepted to University of Edinburgh for grad school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YESSSSS!

This is where I will be attending classes- the School of Divinity (haha!).

Second of all, why do they always make Beyonce look so weird on magazine covers? I mean, who is this? Not Beyonce, that's for sho.

Third of all (by the way does anyone know if "third of all" is actually a figure of speech? I use it a lot but it never sounds right), I took a fill-in-the-map geography test of the US and the Middle East and I was far more successful at naming middle eastern countries than states right here in my homeland! Things just get so confusing once you're east of Wyoming....with all the Virginias and Carolinas lyin around.

Fourth of all (ok, I know that one doesn't work), I've compiled a list of the greatest songs of all time. I know that's quite bold of me, but I dare you to argue with the following selection:

* Do you know (Enrique Iglesias)

*Oh Holy Night (Anonymous)

*The Power of Love (Celine Dion AND AND AND- get this -Huey Lewis and the News)

*Wagon Wheel (Old Crow Medicine Show)

*World of Our Own (Westlife)

*White Girl (E-40)

*Heads Carolina, Tails California (Jodee Messina)

*Boys of Summer (Don Henley)- Martha's pick...but I agree

*Let it Be (The Beatles)

*Surf Wax America (Weezer)

*Too Little Too Late (JoJo)

*All or Nothing (O-Town)

*At Last (Etta James)

What songs would you add to the list??

Tonight we are going over to Sarah's and Carrie's house to watch The Bachelor. The original plan was to dress up in formal, floor length gowns, sip champagne and watch it in the company of a beautiful platter of red, long-stem roses...but that didn't pan out. We should really save such efforts for the season finale anyway.

I've been filling up on sunflower seeds lately,

Madge

mean. MEDIAN!!! mode?

2009-01-07T19:54:00.000-08:00

Here's my morning:

Woke up with a mean head AND stomach ache.

Drove onto the bright yellow median on Bothell Way.

Lost my mode of transportation- and $600.

On average, my day (pre 9 AM) SUCKED.

HOWEVER I bused it to a naturopath who was really really nice, listened to my digestion sob story and was genuinely understanding. She gave me some helpful detox plans and supplements- so I have hope!

Top Chef tonight!!!!!!

Sipping on a lovely cran/lemon/apple cider vinegar cocktail,

Madge

Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?

2009-01-02T10:36:00.001-08:00

A while back I asked you, my dear readers, for blog topic suggestions. The only one of you who participated was Tori, who suggested I discuss the "half up/half down" hairstyle. After the overwhelming success of that post, I've decided to take Tori's advice yet again. She texted me a couple months ago asking for a COPS themed post. Here goes it:

Premiering on Fox in 1989, COPS is one of the longest running TV programs in the United States. It has been nominated for four emmys!!

Here are some viewer comments left on the COPS imdb page:

Matt writes:

24 November 2001
Believe none of those COPS-bashing reviews from the people you'll find on this site who don't even know what real entertainment is. I think COPS is the greatest show and the best comedy ever! You watch it and you always find two or three people on it who are worse off than yourself. You ask yourself, "My god! How could someone be so stupid and devious!?" and you feel so smart and law-abiding! And the best part is that the bad guys always get caught! You can't run from the long arm of COPS! I recommend my favorite show (COPS) to anyone I meet. Really. Besides being an awesomely ground-breaking, reality-based program, it sets a good example for your kids. Let them watch it with you. Cheers! -Matt

Michael writes:

June 28, 2008

But of course my favorite thing about the show is that so many of the incidents shown are so hilarious, intentionally or not. I remember one particular episode where they chased a guy down who was driving erratically, and then he jumps out of his car and runs on foot. The police chase him into the woods and finally tackle him, and on the way back to the police cars they start asking him some questions."Have you been drinking tonight?" one of the cops asks. "No no no," the guy says. "I haven't been drinking tonight, officer, all I had was a 12-pack and a bottle of Southern Comfort..."

Brightfamouscucumber writes:

October 6, 2005

This is a dangerously biased show. It is a show depicting that COPS can do no wrong. It's edited to appear to be some sort of "good versus evil", but it is not. It is nothing short of evil vs. evil, and sometimes its the perp who's more evil, and other times it's the badge-bearer. But it's always the badge-bearer whose opinions get final input on each and every segment, and usually a very rude bash of the people they were hired to protect and serve. It is sick and it it is twisted, and it is in a time spot known to be predominantly viewed by adolescents. On a scale of one-to-ten for entertainment value, I would quite honestly and with great justification give it a negative ninety-nine. The worst nightly news show in a third-world country would receive a greater rating from me than this atrocious filth.

Well, there appears to be some differences of opinion out there about COPS. Your thoughts?

Yours truly,

Madge

New Year w/ Old friends (rotund stomach & indigestion)

2009-01-01T09:18:00.000-08:00

It is the first day of 2009. WOAH. Here's some perspective for ya: Center Stage came out 9 years ago!! Where does the time go? Anna should be comin' up on her 10 year high school reunion. The King Dome has been gone a decade! Facebook was started 5 years ago and I can't believe I ever lived without it. Also, happy 10th birthday to the Euro (which, despite fallin' a bit, is still worth about $1.40...so don't let its monopoly-ish look fool ya).

I sat around all evening waiting to decide on whether or not to go to a party with Anna and her friends, a party hosted by my high school friends, or a party with Barbie, Meghan and maybe other college friends. I read, napped, took a bath, ate an orange, sat in the living room, applied intense healing hand lotion to my dry hands, watched a bizarre HBO movie with my Mom and Dad called The Girl in the Cafe, and took a couple more baths. My stomach hurt, which is a bummer because I thought my new gluten-free diet was helping. Nay- the thing's still round, hard and angry as ever. I'm just waiting for the day I wake up with an "outie" belly button. Just preparing myself for the inevitable. HOW depressing.

Anyway...when it came time to get ready and go out I just couldn't do it.

This morning my Dad told me he "rang in the new year with a snore", and I answered "me too". His excuse- being near seniorcitizenship. My excuse- gas, a distended stomach and one heinously bad mood.

Last year at this time I was in Edinburgh, wandering along the cobblestone streets, climbing the Sir Walter Scot Monument and watching the circling ice skaters, double decker buses, sale-bound shoppers, and street-corner bag pipers below. Hopefully on Jan 1, 2010 I'll be doing the same.

My new years resolution: blog more.

We'll see,

Madge

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T00:03:00.001-08:00

It's the best holiday around. Ab-so-lutely, HANDS DOWN, no argument there.

The snow/cold/ice is all people around here can talk about and I'm a little tired of it, so I'll just say that due to weather conditions, this year's Christmas Eve was low-key- no ferry ride, no neighborhood walk, no mass (yikes!). BUT it was FANTASTIC nonetheless.

Bobby flew into town after barely making his connecting flight in Houston (he had to cut in front of about 200 people to get through customs) and it's always great to have him in K-town for Christmas. We all (minus Max&Anne who're in San Antonio and Anna&Alex who are joining us tomorrow morning) sat around the living room, chatting and each opening one gift. As usual, my Mom tried to convince us to open more but we resisted. It's only the EVE after all. Next, in strict accordance to Kay Fam tradition, my Dad read The Berenstain Bears Christmas Tree aloud. Straying a bit from tradition, we then gathered downstairs to watch the Top Chef Holiday Special. Usually it's the Muppet's Christmas Carol, but it's good to switch things up every now and then.

Here are some of my favorite pictures from around the world this Christmas season:

Visitors look at a 25 feet (950 centimeters) high Santa Claus sand sculpture created by Sudarshan Pattnaik at a beach in Puri, about 65 kilometers (40 miles) away from Bhubaneswar, India, Wednesday, Dec. 24, 2008. AP/Biswaranjan Rout

Runners, dressed as Santa Claus, are seen prior a "Santa Claus Run" in Hamburg, Germany, on Sunday, Dec. 14. More than 2,000 runners took part at the charity run. AP / Fabian Bimmer

A zoo worker dressed up as Santa Claus rides an ostrich at a zoo in Wuhan, central China's Hubei province, Sunday, Dec. 14. AP Photo

Danny Nichols, breaks into tears at the thought of sitting on Santa's lap during a visit to Penn Square Mall in Oklahoma City, Dec. 12. The Oklahoman / Jim Beckel

The 22 meter high statue, Hammering Man, dressed in Santa Claus outfits, stands over a street, to celebrate a Christmas in Seoul, Wednesday, Dec. 24, 2008. The statue was made by U.S. artist Jonathan Borofsky of Boston, Massachusetts. Christmas is one of the biggest holidays to celebrate in South Korea. AP/ Lee Jin-man

Hmmm....that hammering man looks A LOT like the guy in downtown Seattle. So much for one-of-a-kind art!!

Ok, gotta nestle in my bed- the sugar plum dreams await me.

LOVVVVVVE,

Margaret

Present Politics...

2008-12-16T18:10:00.000-08:00

You're lying if you don't think "presents" are the best part of Christmas.

Ok, I know that sounds materialistic and shallow, but gift giving and the thoughtfulness that goes into it is what Christmas is all about. Duh, it isn't about what you get or how much was spent but the love/caring represented by the gesture.

This is why I HATE it when people set price limits on gifts, freak out about whether their gift is less expensive than the one the person is giving them, give gifts out of obligation, make Christmas lists so that everyone gets something they "really want"- UGHHHHH. STOP IT! That makes the whole tradition of gift-giving seem so formulaic and dull.

I could go on and on about this, but ya get my point. Presents are great, but all the stupid politics that go along with them are ridiculous.

Now bring me some figgy pudding,

Madge

Things I Like That Are Purple...

2008-12-09T15:38:00.001-08:00

Lupines

My purple sparkly clutch wallet from Target

This book

The purple eye liner and eye shadow for people with brown eyes by Almay

Purple Laffy Taffy ropes

Purple (some people call the "red") grapes

Sorry I haven't been blogging. I have a few excuses but none are really good enough.

I am back in K-town- home for the holidays. I still have some papers to write for Friday, but I'll just whip 'em out Thursday night.

Where is my camera battery charger?

Madge

WEIRD

2008-12-08T14:25:00.000-08:00

I am now going to take a long bath, read my book, eat from my girnormous bag of dirty carrots and try to erase the image of those walking, talking tongues from my mind.

Drink water,

madge

Bloggers Block

2008-12-08T13:25:00.000-08:00

Sorry folks- I got nothin'.

I'll write a good one tonight,

Madge

When the dog bites. When the bee stings. When I'm feeling sad...

2008-12-04T22:47:00.000-08:00

...I simply look at this picture and then I don't feeeeeeeeeel sooooooooo baaaaaaaaaaad!

Feel free to glance at it whenever you're hit with a wave of low self-esteem- it really does the trick.

You're welcome,

Madge

What's the world coming to?

2008-12-04T17:07:00.000-08:00

Please tell me I'm not the only who's noticed that the phrase "I know- right?" has invaded the everyday American vernacular recently? Like a non-indigenous species of english ivy, these insanely annoying three words are creeping into classrooms, households and bagel shops across the countryside, winding their way into the vocabulary of even the least likely of characters.

Today I was dumbfounded to hear one dude on a longboard say it to another dude on a longboard! Their conversation went something like this:

Dude #1: Brah, I totally got a 95% on that test.

Dude #2: Man, that's so good.

Dude #1: I know- right? I totally didn't see that coming.

Dude #2: Pretty sweet, dude. Alright, talk to ya later.

Enough is enough!

Don't even get me started on the American auto companies!

One positive bit of news to come out of today's cruel, confusing world is that Mother's Circus Animal Cookies are not going away after all! If you were shocked and saddened by the announcement that Mother's had shut down, dry your eyes- these delicious pink and white morsels live on! Kellogg has bought all their recipes and will reintroduce them into a grocery store near you soon.

YUM. I know- right?

-Madge

Smile!

2008-12-02T20:13:00.000-08:00

The Chicago Tribune has compiled some of the funniest "Scared of Santa" photos on their website. Here are some of them:

I wish I had access to some of the Kay Family Christmas card photos because they would be equally hilarious and much more frightening than all these creepy, fake-bearded Santas.

Ugh, one year we all posed in Max's ginormous white Buick. Someone was actually planted on the roof of the car... striking some Barbizon poze....turned on their side, knees bent and chin resting firmly on their fist. My Dad was at the wheel, elbow out the window as if he was cruising down the street on a hot summer day. The rest of us where packed into the back or leaning awkwardly against the hood and the trunk. OH WOW, it was horrible. Perhaps I will dig it out when I go home, scan it and upload it for your viewing pleasure.

I lied- we don't have a scanner at home,

Madge

There's only two types of people in the world...

2008-12-02T18:55:00.000-08:00

...the ones that blog and the ones that do stuff with their lives.

I just purchased Britney Spears' "Circus" on iTunes. It's fab. I now have 12 whole songs on my iTunes!!! I know, I know, there are programs I can download that will let me transfer all my iPod songs to my iTunes and BLAH BLAH BLAH- it's all so stressful and I promise I'll get to it eventually but for some reason I just have a mental block against the whole iTunes/iPod song-getting and storing process. I'm sweatin' just thinkin about it. And every time iTunes asks me to update it I go back and forth for 5 minutes AGONIZING over the decision. What if it erases my songs (all 12 of them)!??!?! Why am I like this?? I've never been tragically screwed over by iTunes or anything...maybe I've just heard other people's horror stories.

I made the mistake of eating a pomagranate while I sat on lamby (my lambskin rug. infamous freshman year Costco impulse buy) watched 30Rock on my WHITE macbook. Fuschia pom juice splattered across the keys and I since I didn't have a napkin available and I was too lazy to lean forward I had to wipe it off with my toes. Now my toes are sticky.

Martha and I walked downtown today to get a dark chocolate bar. She just informed me that MUFAs are an important part of a healthy diet (especially if you want a flat stomach). They are Monounsaturated Fatty Acids and they lower total cholesterol and LDL cholesterol (the bad cholesterol) while increasing HDL cholesterol (the good cholesterol). Nuts, dark chocolate, avocados, and olive oil are high in MUFAs. MUFAs have been found to help in weight loss, particularly body fat.

So we chowed down on a Moonstruck dark chocolate bar. Moonstruck is a chocolate company based out of Portland and Martha actually knows the family that started it. It was also mentioned in O magazine as one of her favorite treats! Yummmm.

It's only 7:26 pm! I have over two hours until the new episode of "Real Housewives of Orange County". Killing time- it's all I do lately. Maybe I will buy another song on iTunes and belly dance to it in front of my mirror. Belly dancing is a natural skill I was born with and I always feel good, like it's worked out my abs, after I do it. That will kill about 15 minutes. Then maybe I will wikipedia stuff that I've been curious about- like hemispherectomies, alopecia and Switzerland.

Until next time,

Madge

From WALL to WALL

2008-12-01T21:57:00.000-08:00

So my new favorite activity this past month has been reading through various facebook "wall-to-walls" between my me and my friends. For those of you over the age of 30 who are not familiar with "wall-to-walls" it is a feature on facebook that allows you to read everything you and a particular friend have written on each other's facebook pages over the years.

Here are some of my favorite excerpts:

CONNIE/ME wall-to-wall:

Connie Gledhill (Willamette) wrote
at 10:05am on April 28th, 2006
ha.
i saw this squirrel running around today.. with either someone's sock or underwear in it's mouth.. i'm thinkin underwear tho.
it kept trying to stuff as much of it as possible in.
just thought you should know

Margaret Kay wrote
at 11:49am on April 28th, 2006
interesting because a couple weeks ago we threw some of my gross grandma underwear on the roof of our dorm...it is now not there....was the underwear gray?

Connie Gledhill (Willamette) wrote
at 2:35pm on April 29th, 2006
no. it was just white. ha

Connie Gledhill (Willamette) wrote
at 1:52pm on May 1st, 2007
hardy har. now it's your turn. tell me something funny

Margaret Kay wrote

at 3:21pm on May 1st, 2007
ok, here i go...

so i had this quiet asian friend in highschool and she was banned from riding northshore buses after sending out a mass email threatening to kill our bus driver. HAHAHa

oh wait...that was you...this, is, awkward.

well, here's another funny story. Today a girl came into the bagel shop and ordered a garlic bagel- but the kicker is....she pronounced it "garLACK"....hahaha, like lilac flowers....garlac....what a FREAK

TORI/ME wall-to-wall:

Margaret Kay wrote

at 12:06pm on January 17th, 2007
i'm decently tan, yes. what's your new years res? Mine is to stop picking my nose (cuz it stretches out my nostrils!) and Barbie's is to makeout with more boys.

Tori Mueller (Washington) wrote
at 12:17pm on January 17th, 2007
mine is to party more and to try and make steps in the direction of becoming a vegetarian. mostly its to party more though. im really bored right now in the law library. usually when this happens i watch the oc on youtube but dare i say that im not in an oc mood. i need to get a job, any suggestions? do you pick your nose often as is? i've never nosticed your large nostrils, now it will probably be all that i look at when i see you.

Margaret Kay wrote
at 12:42pm on January 17th, 2007
try to work at a movie theater so you can work with nerdy highschool kids and eat popcorn all day. in all honesty, i would suggest working in food service rather than retail, i've heard it's the lesser of two evils. i find my nostrils horribly large and i blame 20% of it on genetics and 80% on myself, an avid nosepicker (can't believe you haven't noticed). Sometimes when I'm unable to fall asleep at night I cup my nose and squish my nostrils together to reshape them. But I think the damgage is permanent.

Tori Mueller (Washington) wrote
at 12:57pm on January 17th, 2007
interesting, my sister and i both think our noses point up a little to much so we sometimes tape them down for a couple hours, ie the duration of watching a movie or something. i think you have gorgeous nostrils though. but i see where you are coming from (i do tape my nose down for gosh's sake!) this little comment box really does wonders for speeding things up here on facebook. have you ever gotten a massage? i bet its the best thing in the world.

OK, so I know people tend to zone out and loose focus when they see a really long post with big blocks of text, so I am going to hold off on any more wall-to-wall snippets for now. BUT do expect there this to be a reoccurring feature on my blog because I really just skimmed the vast surface of good material that's out there. Perhaps you will see me and YOUR wall-to-wall on here some day. Wouldn't that be a thrill for you!?! Ya betcha. So staaaaaaaaay tuned!

Love,

Madge

GOOD GOD!

2008-12-01T21:51:00.000-08:00

....I rediscovered that video today when I was reading me and Connie's "wall-to-wall" on facebook. I posted it on her wall some time Sophomore year and I had since forgotten all about it.

nightynight,

madge

Go Blog Go

2008-12-01T12:00:00.000-08:00

T-Giving came and went like an episode of Supermarket Sweep- exciting, frenzied, food-related, chaotic, and leaving me wanting MORE! Lucky for me- I will get more because Christmas is just around the corner. So it ain't over yet. YAY! Two of my favorite holidays back to back. Gotta love the holiday season!

I want to try out a sunless tanning product. I don't know which one to use and I am nervous about it. The main reason I want to try it out (actually, it's the main reason why I do anything at all.....why I wake up in the morning) is so I can blog about it. Wouldn't that be great? I could do before&after pictures. It has the makings to be an epic post.

One time in elementary school I was talking with this free-spirited girl who had hippie parents about being buried or something about burial (weird...I wonder why we were discussing it at all actually. But it's irrelevant to my point) and she said "Oh, I plan to donate my body to science when I die."

I was BAFFLED.

The nonchalant way she said it- "donate my body to science"- just like that...it haunted my thoughts for quite some time. I pictured a creepy man in white lab coat ripping one of her arms out of its socket and studying it carefully with a microscope....another one would pluck out her eyeballs with giant tweezers and toss them into a beaker causing it to bubble and splurt green fizz.

Now, of course, I understand what she meant and I find it a perfectly reasonable solution to corpse disposal. ANYHOO, I am willing to sacrifice my epidermis to sunless tanning research so the next time I am at the store I will buy one.

MOVING ON, This article in businessweek lists the worst jobs with the best pay...here they are:

Gastroenterologist- Average pay: $269,500 HA! I went to one of these back when I was having my constipation problems (see archive).

Podiatrist- Average pay: $125,663 Barbie just went to one of these to try to fix her flat foot/short leg.

Private Security Contractor in Iraq- Average Pay: $120,000 Sounds scary.

IT Worker- Average pay: $103,400 Don't know what this really means.
Crop Duster Pilot- Average pay: $53,870 I guess this is dangerous because of the pesticides.
Crime-Scene Cleaner- Average pay: $50,400 You'd have to pay me a lot more....

Roughneck- Average pay: $46,867 What's a roughneck?????????????
Toll Collector- Average pay: $45,000 Harhar, I thought this said "troll" collector. Now THAT would be a bad job (unless you're Hagrid or someone else who's well versed on the creatures of the forbidden forest).

Long-Haul Trucker- Average pay: $43,200 What about an ICE ROAD trucker???
Embalmer- Average pay: $42,400 EW.
Sewer Inspector- Average pay: $34,960 STINKY! (my friend Liz hates that word)
Crab Fisherman- Average pay: $29,000 Deadliest Catch, holler!

I think I'm going to take a nap,

Madge

P.S. I don't like having to capitalized the "I" in "I'm"- it bugs me

Happy T-Giving Eve! Get Baking!

2008-11-26T09:59:00.000-08:00

Weird, I'm about to watch "The View" LIVE this morning- as in, not just selected YouTube clips the following afternoon. It's bizarre actually watching them pretend to be friends during the first 3-4 minutes.

Ahhh, this is the life. Eating my oatmeal, drinking my Twinnings loose leaf English breakfast tea (wish it was Tetely or Lyons...but it'll do) and flexing my toes back and forth, back and forth, listening to the sound of the crack reverberating off the kumquat walls in our family room. I can crack my toes endlessly- they will NEVER not crack. It's one of my few unique talents.

OH WEIRD, Drew Carey is hosting "The Price Is Right". I mean, I knew about this but STILL.

To Do:

-Bake a key lime pie

-Exercise (bike to the Woodinville Barns&Noble to get a treat at their starbucks w/ my B&N gift card??)

-Put up more Christmas Decorations

-Take a shower (meh...MAYbe)

Speaking of pie baking....I really like that movie "Waitress" with Keri Russell. She bakes pies according to her mood. For example, if she were me right now she'd bake a "Loves-The-Sound-Of-Toes-Cracking-In-The-Morning-Pie".

I bought a turtleneck sweater yesterday! Barbie Solbakken is probably rolling over in her grave and thinking "I told ya so!"

What are you thankful for,

Madge

Ok, wow...Blogging AGAIN

2008-11-25T17:03:00.000-08:00

Ok, I'm a 22 year old woman- WHY do I still cringe and blush every time I watch people approach their crush on "MADE" ??? I'm watching it right now (Oprah's over) and this nerdy girl's MADE-coach just forced to her ask a cute skater boy out on a "skate date".

OMG, it was too much! I squinted my eyes and cranked up the David Archuleta on my itunes. I just couldn't bear to listen to it...

He was nice, and said yes and they went to the skate park and it's all ok. Sigh of relief. I don't know why I freaked out but it was just so AWK.

The picture below is a reenactment of me watching it all go down. It kind of just looks like I'm smelling a fart, but you get the idea.

I'm so empathetic (emphasis on the "pathetic"),

Madge

Oprah's Gonna Talk About Her Weight Gain

2008-11-25T16:38:00.000-08:00

I'm watching her show right now (Dr. Oz is on.. SURPRISE SURPRISE) and they just showed a preview for her "Best Life Week" where she talks about the "big brown elephant in the room" (her words not mine). But I thought she already did this...thyroid problem, right? Is she explaining it again? Or is it just a rerun? Who knows. Good excuse to post some Oprah-through-the-years pics.

Look at me blogging twice in one day,

Madge

Oil Changes Are Scarier Than Edward Cullen

2008-11-25T10:14:00.000-08:00

GREETINGS.

I'm about to go get the oil changed in the Volvo. It's always a horrible experience. Sitting in the waiting area at Jiffy Lube...pretending to read a car magazine, staring at the coffee pot and craving its stale, watery coffee but being too nervous to actually get some for fear that it costs money (which is rediculous, I know it doesn't) and dreading the moment when some guy leads me outside to a "computer" that wisely determines that the Volvo needs wiper blades. I tell them "not today" because "my mom" told me just to get the oil, but I know they are mad that I haven't listened to the computer. I've disrespected its authority and their commission will suffer because of it.

Ok, so I saw Twilight last night with Tori. I feel that with all its hype, it deserves a Madgespace review:

INSANELY HORRIBLE and AMAZING. A must-see. Awful awful awful. But very very good.

Bella:

SPIT IT OUT! Just think about what you're trying to say and then say it. It's called "talking" and it should not be that difficult.

Edward:

Beautiful. Perfect. The bad acting and bad american accent really adds to his vampireness. It works for him. He carries the movie. Without him, it would really just be an extended episode of Charmed...with a little Wishbone mixed in. Who knew someone so creepy could be so attractive? He makes breaking into someone's house to watch them sleep seem CUTE.

It's ok to HATE, LOVE, LAUGH AT, CRY AT, MAKE FUN OF, and DEFEND this movie all at the same time.

It's wonderful. Full of wonder. Wonder in the sense of mysterious awe and wonder in the sense of WTF?!!!!?!

Hold on tight spidermonkey,

Madge

P.S. I am making key lime pie tomorrow.

Let There Be Lights!

2008-11-23T09:39:00.000-08:00

HOLLERRRR. Well, in case you were wondering- Kathy was hilarious. We were up in the nosebleeds of the Paramount (who knew it went up so high??) and had to squint to see her, but it was definitely worth the future crowsfeet.

Today my Dad and I are going to put up the outside Christmas lights. We may be jumping the gun a little, but it will be nice to come home from T-Giving and have the decor dunzo. For inspiration, I've google image searched the best light displays anyone ever uploaded to the internet. Hopefully our's will rival some of the following- we'll see.

Ahh, I've been indulging in the usual comforts of home (plus a few new ones...a new fridge, new carpet, loose leaf tea...). Today I MUST go on a run. It's been a while since I've broken a sweat...well besides yesterday when I overheated in Max & Anne's house because their heat was on and I had a hat on and a hooded sweatshirt...just too many layers in general. BUT the point is, I haven't exercised in eons, so I HAVE TO run today. Now that I've blogged about it there is no turning back. Ugggh.

Oh- I saw the new Bond movie yesterday. It was good.

Best,

Margaret

Two things:

2008-11-20T13:43:00.000-08:00

I'm going to see KATHY GRIFFIN tonight!!! I've been a big fan of hers for a while now and it will be insane seeing her in the flesh. Who will she be gossiping about now? SO EXCITED!

Secondly, I realized this morning that I often don't know if I have said something or just thought it. Like, I don't know if I have said "go ahead and sign the top copy" to a bagel customer who's signing their receipt or if I have merely THOUGHT it in my head. Even worse- when I am walking this blurry line between saying and thinking, I will often KIND OF say something but mainly just let out a low, throaty breath noise....its weird, I know. I don't think people can hear me when I make this noise, but who knows, maybe they do.......it worries me. This actually is so weird and I cannot describe it in words over my blog. Especially because I have to be in class in ten minutes I can't think of the proper way to explain it under those time constraints. I'll try again later.

possibly audible breath-grunt,

madge

Knorks, Forks and Stedman?- is that you?!?!

2008-11-18T13:02:00.000-08:00

A couple weeks ago Anna sent me the link to the knork website. Just as the spork represents a combination of a spoon and a fork, the knork is a knife/fork collaboration. I want one. Especially since I haven't used a knife since the late 90s (When I stopped eating meat. Also when I realized I could just spread butter on toast with my finger)- nope, I only need a fork, turned on its side and wiggled back and forth vigorously until the food is adequately separated into bite-sized pieces. In Europe, the knork may not sell well. Those euros approach their plate as if they were knitting a sweater- with a knife in the left hand and a fork in the right. Us Americans, though, often neglect the knife completely. It is more of a place-setting decoration, simply there to complete the "plate/knife/fork/spoon/napkin" image but remaining untouched until it is loaded into the dishwasher, clean and unused.

The reason I was reminded of the knork in the first place is because I am reading "Twilight" which takes place in Forks, Washington. I cannot get over how insane it is that Forks is the setting of these (FANTASTIC) books. It's definitely exciting to see Washington State get some much needed publicity, but it's even more exciting because of my personal connection with Forks. Here goes it: So, in eighth grade my friend Dana wanted to make her ex-boyfriend jealous. We invented a new, fake, shawn-from-Boy-Meets-World-lookalike, boyfriend for her to be in a long-distance relationship with. We made him a blog (or "online diaries" as they were then called) at diary-x.com (which may have even pre-dated "live journal"). After deciding on his hobbies, interests, appearance and car, we picked a location- FORKS, WA!!! His website was titled "stuckinforks.diary-x.com". If diary-x.com was still around I could totally sell that domain name for millions!!!!

When I was working out today I saw Stedman (Oprah's bf) on CNN with the caption "Attorney General?" underneath him. I thought to myself, "NO WAY! Obama is picking Stedman Graham as his attorney general!?!?!". But then I saw that it wasn't Stedman, but a man named Eric Holder who just happens to look exactly like him.

I'm almost done with Twilight. It's exciting to be enveloped in a teen book series phenomenon again. Reminds me of my youth.

Vampires,

Madge

Loves it!!!!!!!!

2008-11-16T20:34:00.000-08:00

I've always thought these things were cool...

The bank drive-thru suction container...

Brain Quests...

Scratch and sniff stickers...

Waffle makers...

Snap bracelets...

Wonderbread sandwich container...

Mini spray fan...

M&M dispenser...

Handheld egg beater

Jello jigglers egg mold...

goodnight,

Madge

BROWS-ing Spokane's Food Places

2008-11-13T17:48:00.000-08:00

"Food Places"? wtf- my vocabulary is heinous.

whew, this may not be my best post of all time because I typed in every email/password combination I could think of trying to sign into blogger and I'm exhausted. I should really just pause for 2 seconds before I try logging in to my various websites (email, facebook, blogger, online grad school app, nytimes.com, etc) so I can remember what email/password combination I have chosen for that site instead of guessing and checking until my fingers are throbbing from the carpeltunnel. See, I'm even too tired to google the spelling of carpaltunnel.

As I was walking home from my brow wax this evening, I got the sudden impulse to go into Azteca, order a veggie burrito and chow down- alone in a booth with nothing but the fellow Spokie patrons to keep me entertained.

I shook off the bizarre impulse and considered it an isolated event brought on by the shiny warm glow of Azteca's light-up sign.

But then I passed Wendy's and almost walked up to the drive-thru to order a frosty! I actually wanted to walk up to the speaker and order myself a frosty, then proceed to the window on foot! It's 45 degrees outside! Then I passed Sonic- similar urges took over. Then Taco Time. I bit down on the spout of my water bottle to distract myself from the Conoco gas station that was pulling like a magnet toward its glorious aisles of candy.

I made it home- but barely and not without severe gnawing damage to my water bottle.

Consensus: I'm hungry.

Speaking of food. Top Chef premiered last night! It's no Runway, but it's still a solid hour of television. The Real Housewives of Orange County comes back soon too. Can't wait!

Bowling tonight.

More later....told you this post would be lame,

Madge